Beautiful's Road to Recovery for the Recently Ditched

[BEAUTlFUL]

Dearly Be-Chucked, we are gathered here today because, for whatever reason, our man has dumped us!

Whether we were dating, cohabiting or married, we are now to use therapist-speak well effed-off about the whole business and are desperate to regain our fabulosity.

Well, this is the place! This is where we regain our positivity, our self-confidence and eventually our mojos. We might think at the moment that we'd also like to regain our men, but that might not last long, as we'll soon realise that anyone who could put us through this does not deserve us.

Come in and start regaining your brilliance! I will be setting us exercises to complete that are based vaguely on self-help books, beauy tips and Feng Shui, or we'll just have a right good bitch until we feel completely drained and sick of the sound of our ex's names. Whatever works.

You made me laugh out loud, got to admit I did more or less the same as you last night drank a whole bottle of wine did not do fake tan or pedicure or manicure did not even get to bed until 2am gawd knows what I was thinking but back to back come dine with me won the TV war last night!!
Then i went to work this morning to catch up and cover the fact that I have not been working and in fact trawling dating websites looking for suitable victims men

So I am now showered, pedicured, manicured and I just have to deal with my dreadful hair which is now going all curly(think Shirley blooming Temple not Leona Lewis I did not get so lucky born in the wrong decade you see they only had bad hair left) because I thought oh I wonder how my fellow dumplings are today and the laptop dragged me onto it, it can't help itself.

OMG yes I have a date in now 3hrs and 15 minutes and I am soooooo nervous he has been texting me today suggested a meal out so I am meeting him outside the restaurant driving myself so that I can resisit drinking too much throwing myself at his feet and saying take me I'm yours

Blimey my 17 old year son has more idea of how to behave on dates than me , this time I am taking things slow, this time I am not going to jump into bed with him, and please please let me not make a complete numpty of myself.

Next biggest problem apart from nerves, my scrambled egg hair, and the fact that I look like I was up until 2am despite doing everything that a magazine that I bought promising me glowing skin if I bought it told me to (think somebody else stole the glowing skin out of it when the papershop man was not looking cos i didn't get mine)...... is what to wear!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Right off to attack hair and haul clothes out of my wardrobe frantically I want to look , classy, a bit sexy but not like a hooker , gawd this a tall order

Caramela you are definitely better off without bollock face in your life

Evening Fellow Dumplings, thanks for the support but must have given the wrong impression. Was not actually on a downer over single status, abondonment issues etc.. was just kicking self in backside over fact all other dumplings were beautifing themselves while I had sacrificed sacred sleep hours to trawl the dregs, while nail polish was chipped & leg hair is now offically long enough to plait, sorry tmi..

Anyway, it is with much delight that I read that Beauty & Loobie had also fallen from the wagon last night. Maybe all was not an entire waste anyway as have been bombarded with replies........

Caramela, well done to you on your no sh*t approach. You are not however "waving farewell to last chance ever of cunnilingus", just opening the door to lots more better equipped tongue!

Loobie, I repeat what others have said.. you lucky bit*h. Let yourself go woman & enjoy, just come back here with all the gorey details.

Am off now to check out my responses online & will report back if I'm throwing in the towel or if there is anything worth persuing.

I may be oversharing, Startingover but my exh didn't like the aforementioned oral activity so until Bollock Face appeared on the scene, I hadn't had any for 16 years or so.

I'm thinking of holding a symbolic funeral for my clitoris or maybe launching a Cunnilingus Relief charity telethon.

Good luck with the responses, let us know how you get on.

Hi Caramela, OMG none for 16yrs!! Your exh must have had major issues, your well shot of him & bollock face. Don't worry the world is full of men that enjoy water sports.. start visualising a long tongue devouring your clit & the universe will dispatch!!

funnily enough my exknobjockey didn't like to give oral....but was more then eager to receive.

fuckmuppet

i am now obv in the market for a man with a v long tongue who can breathe through his ears {{visualises}}

OMG shocked but strangely fascinated by today's updates from you all.

A fun night for me again tonight (XFactor plus MN) but ready for action for sure after extreme retail therapy today.

Wondering though where the action will come from. Am continuing to wander on to strange dating sites looking at odd photos and too scared to add a proper profile. Guess I will get there in the end.

Mutha, OMG you too! What is wrong with these men? Don't answer that, you're well rid!

Ifyourhappy, I love retail therapy, way to go.

Signed up to a site last night (no pic though), am now chating away to loads of men. Could mostly be weirdos but am finding it strangely exciting. I can see now why beauty comes on here everyday saying she's off men but goes back for more. Strangely exciting to be talking to all these men!

I swore I would paint nails & shave legs tonight!! Notta mind the book & my visualisations!!

So StartingOver did you just pay up and then start to chat with people that look < interesting >? I have the urge but looks so scary. Thinking I should do that but costs money (and remember all that retail therapy today, I don't have much money left now) and feeling I do need to be anonymous in case am attacked by mad dater.

Veryconfused sent me over here ..... thank you Very! This is what I'm feeling at the moment, god knows why though, he confirmed to me today he is a complete arse! He had his two sons today who haven't spoken to their sister for five months and he couldn't be bothered to get them to phone her, I know she is only two but she talks very well for her age, he is a twunt!

So here is my story ........ I've been separated from my husband for five months now but we have had trouble since Christmas last year, he was an arse to me when I had PND after DD who is now 2 and he had an 'emotional' affair with a work colleague. I forgave him and wanted to make our marriage work, I took the medication and had counselling and I have changed, he refused to go to Relate and eventually after leaving me three times, decided on the fourth go it was for good!

So why am I still pining for him and secretly hoping he will come back I have moved 300 miles to be near my parents to help out with childcare, support etc and he is still 'down south', I never intentially get in the way of him seeing his daughter, I have even told him he can stay at my house so he doesn't have to pay for a hotel, he doesn't want to though? He comes to pick her up and then I mope about for the rest of the day on my own thinking 'what if'. It is pretty obvious to me that he has absolutely no feelings for me at all and so much has been said that I don't think we could go back anyway.

I can honestly say that I have no respect for him as a husband as he has been so weak and a quitter in not fighting for his marriage and I find this un-attractive in him? But he is a fantastic Dad and my daughter adores him. He has been married before me and split up with her when his youngest son was also 2 (split nothing to do with me!) His father also has three other families who he has messed about and flitted in and out of their lives? Is he repeating history?

So whats going on with me? Someone please give me a kick up the rear and tell me how to move on because I was still awake at 2am go over and over whats happened in my head and its torturing me! I'm trying to come off my anti depressants and have been messing them up, so maybe this is why I feel so fed up? I'm also feeling fat and un-attractive and basically hate the way I look and can't imagine another man would be interested in me and a two year old! She is also going throught the 'terrible two's' and is hard work and I never get a break?

This is such a wingy post ...... sorry!

Ifyourhappy, I had no intention of going this route, but reading all the posts on the thread sent me checking it out. Like you I am v cautious, I've put up a profile but no pic yet. I joined one last wk which was a disaster as no responses £50. I joined a free one last night (plentyoffish)& I've been bombarded.

Have probably got slightly carried away & have just given my mobile no to one of them. It's a laugh anyway but I've still not done nails or legs!! Just got a text offering me a shoulder rub...........cringe,

Willow, welcome aboard. We've all been there. I kept waiting for my xh to come back & try & resolve things too. I also did all of the lying awake in bed thing. It's awful but it does get easier. I think you just have to do what's right for you & dd for now. It's a slow journey, your dreams have been shattered so go gently with yourself.

It does sound like a pattern with your xh but I'd try to keep the focus on yourself. There are loads of men that will find you attractive when the time is right, for now you need to heal. I've 3 dc's & have no support, xh has no access, so I completely empathise about never getting a break.

StartingOver thanks for the info - I am pathetically excited about you giving out your number and hope all goes well. Nails and legs must now be done. I will take a look at plentyoffish too and have a dabble.

Willow - I've been where you are but it does get better. (Look, I even chose a happy name!) I tried for so long to get my marriage to work but have now come to terms with the fact that XP is simply not worth pining for. I loved what he was but not what he has become and as I think Beauty said a while back (it's a long thread this one!) when he walks through the door now I think he looks kind of funny.

It is tough looking after kids alone but equally, whilst my kids love their dad, he hasn't helped much for a few years now. So in some ways I don't notice that much of a difference and at last I can watch what I like on the telly and the tension in the house has gone...

Hello fellow dumpets, I hope you are all well.

Well I certainly am how about you

I'm not too bad. I'm ignoring my toad, have been for almost a week, was forced to talk to him today though (he runs one of ds's favourite shops). Weird conversation, he's off to London with "the person he's seeing, (his words)", kind of gave me the impression he's just going for the free trip. I made something for his shop which he has a replacement for, I asked for mine back as it's a bit shite, he piped up that he's growing very attracted to it and would like to keep hold of it. I hate head games, I need to give myself more space. I'm good other then this, met a cute doctor at work, he kept going red and dropping pens/notes etc, was quite nice really.

Well Fluffy that sounds pretty good to me. Liking the doctor encounter

I'm not working at that hospital until after christmas though so I don't know if I'll see him again. Damn!

I'm confused about the toad.

Yeah well I'm confused about my toad too. Just trying to avoid him really though. But easier said than done.

Why can't things just be straight forward?

glad you took the plunge startingover.....as long as you don't take it too seriously the start with then i think this online dating line can be okay. and after all, at the moment you are just chatting to new people.

i had two phone calls last night, one from guy in sheffield (who was talking whilst his daughter was in the bath and she was singing in the background!) and later on from guy in surry (really sexy southern accent - on of my 'things'). was nice to chat and both said they'd like to meet me so we shall see.

the one thing i have learned from online dating is that it is quite likely that a few guys will cancel after arranging a date - in fact i only really believe it is going to happen when they actually turn up. basically i'm saying don't let it get to you if one or two cancel, will be their problems, not yours!

welcome mummytowillow - you will get there.....though i do think it's a little tougher when you have to see x due to kids. and you are right to have lost respect for him - he doesn't deserve any after the way he's treated you. none of it is your fault, you can hold your head high knowing you tried everything to save your marriage and he threw it away - not you.

Fluffy - can you feign illness/knee high boot related injury to see dishy doc?? i think toad is exactly that....a toad and treating you really crap. i would happily return this item for you by inserting it firmly up his rectum.....using the toe of my pointest shoe.

sorry - that should be 'seriously TO start with then i think this online dating THING can be okay' hopefully that makes more sense!

and of course, i mean surrey and one of my things. that'll teach me to preview!

Hi Mutha, It's good that thins are developing for you

No, I work at the hospital so it really wouldn't be the best move. If I'm destined to see him again then I will. As for my toad, I have told him that I have no plans on sticking around, my response to the "I'm finding your painting increasingly attractive" was "tough shite, you've missed the boat here, it's too late!" I stood firm, no fluff. I was having none if his shite. he asked if he could keep it until after christmas so I agreed with this. He's not my responsibility, I really can't be bothered with his head games. Life's too short.

Yay - go fluffy, go fluffy (in a 'go jerry' stylee). good for you! you can see what silly little boy he is. wtf is 'attractive painting'?!?!?

well, he has missed out on the lovely fluffy and paintbrush handling skills

Dumplings, I have just arose from my warm snug bed to share this with you. I am offically having no more to do with online dating.

I have just got a text to my mobile of one rather large erect penis!!!! This guy had been texting me all night & I was just on the verge of agreeing to meet him. Can you believe that..

Mutha, you get doting fathers & sexy voices, I get dicks in every sense of the word......

I am now heading back to the warmth of my bed & will try to figure out how to block dick from my mobile.

Fluffy, good to see you back, I am of drooling dr...

I am going to carry my book with me at all times to keep me on track (the secret), have gone way off track with this online dating shite.

starting - i too have had my fair share of cocks in more than one sense of the word. sometimes i've gone along with it for a laugh, other times i've just ignored. if it's not for you at the mo, delete, delete and maybe go back to online dating (only of course if you've not been snapped up by someone fantabulous) in the future if its not doing anything for you at the mo......guess if you aren't having fun best to leave it for now. i am a fair few months further on from the dumping than you i think?