Beautiful's Road to Recovery for the Recently Ditched

[BEAUTlFUL]

Dearly Be-Chucked, we are gathered here today because, for whatever reason, our man has dumped us!

Whether we were dating, cohabiting or married, we are now to use therapist-speak well effed-off about the whole business and are desperate to regain our fabulosity.

Well, this is the place! This is where we regain our positivity, our self-confidence and eventually our mojos. We might think at the moment that we'd also like to regain our men, but that might not last long, as we'll soon realise that anyone who could put us through this does not deserve us.

Come in and start regaining your brilliance! I will be setting us exercises to complete that are based vaguely on self-help books, beauy tips and Feng Shui, or we'll just have a right good bitch until we feel completely drained and sick of the sound of our ex's names. Whatever works.

Startingover, if it's any consolation whatsoever I'm the daughter of someone who behaved like this in front of us and I turned out (relatively) ok. I think children adapt and yours clearly have a stable, loving mother who makes them a priority. Have a peaceful evening.

Fluffy, would you like me to pay him a visit and stick one of his models up his arse ?

Hi Caramela, thanks for the vote of confidence. I've got a lot of professional help to make sure I handle things correctly with the dc's. I am also training to be a counsellor so it helps when dealing with stuff like this.

Thanks for the offer Caramela, I may take you up on that!

His response was "sorry, I didn't mean to upset you, I'll be much more considerate in futuer, glad you talked to me about it." I didn't talk, I sent him a bloody text message so I didn't have to talk!! I'm not into mind games, life's too short and I like me too much.

Fluffy Deffo a frog more likely a toad.

Startingover. Im so sorry - that is so hard to deal with - hope he can get more help. Dont know what else to say (())

UA Great to see you on this thread - read some of your previous posts and admire your strength in getting through it all -and you call a spade a spade

Beauty -where is speed date report

Had reasonable weekend. Out with kind relly yesterday and had good day with kids. Today good day also - but cried in front of friends when littlest DC cuddled in my arms and said Daddy lives now and I really miss him. Friends were very kind but this kind of thing devastates me - dont know when I will start to get over this (welling as I write) ) Still dont know how he could do it all to them I really dont.

Anyway having to think re Xmas now -really dont know what to do and dread it TBH -first Xmas and all that. Friend said to day I need to plan it and present it to H as done deal and shes right but Im so unsure what to do Do want kids to have a good time so thats another good reason to sort it out. Get arse in gear time.

Getting in touch with few friends overseas etc that dont know about split to tell them. Not sending Xmas cards this year. Dont feel like it. Plan to send email with pics of me and kids with good wishes. Dont know why the difference really - just dont feel like cards.

StartingOver sorry to hear about what happened with dcs and xh today. Sounds awful. He didn't hurt them did he? What starts him off then? It is amazing how dcs just bounce back from things so I'm sure they'll be fine.

Have had a better couple of days - quite peaceful like the eye of the storm!! Been house hunting which is quite exciting. There are a few possibilities but how to decide.

Fluffy sorry to hear about what's going on with you. Why do they do stuff like that?

Oh mumfun, have a hug.

Do you have some friends in the same boat who can come round for christmas? I did this a couple of years ago, it was nice for all of us.

He's a toad! I'm feeling drained now.

Fluffy - buy a copy of "Why Men Love bitches". Seriously! It's a funny, sparky, feisty self-help book by a FABULOUS American author. You'll LOVE it. I've read it about 6,890,657 times. She will tell youbthings like: if you don't want to talk about men's bums or your boobs, don't say that, show it! Walk out! Yawn, look at your watch, leave.

Awesome that you're now not talking to him (like I advised you a week ago! ). Don't go back on this or secondguess yourself, will you? You are LOVELY!

Hi Mumfun, I'm still gagging to meey up if you fancy it?

This bit: "Friend said to day I need to plan it and present it to H as done deal" - what sort of thing are you thinking of doing? I'm going to my parents where my hilarious brother ill also be for 24th & 25th, then X is having DC for 26-28th. Next year we'll swap, which I'm obviously not looking forward to at all.

I'm not talking to him, I sent him a text of my annoyance, he replied appologising, I've not replied back. I was quite mean to him today, didn't look at him, abrupt with my answers when he tried to talk to me. I have been ignoring most of his smutty remarks, the fact that he may/may not have met someone has pissed me off though considering his past remarks. It's not OK to speak to me this way, especially not if he is reeling someone else in.
I did reduce the contact last week.

Hi Dumplings, a big thanks to all of you for your support.

Mumfun, those are the things I find that hardest. My ds tells everyone daddy won't come home or that he misses him etc.. It shatters my heart each time. ((Hugs))

Lamby, so glad to hear you're feeling a bit more positive. Enjoy the house hunting. Dc's weren't hurt but eldest dd was terrified.

Fluffy, you're well rid. You sound lovely & he sounds like a twat with all the mixed messages etc.

Had a hard night as dd2 has a cough & cold, & has only just gone to sleep. Must have gone up & down stairs a 100 times. Am watching x factor results now (taped) & do not have the energy to get lunches ready. Heard nothing so I'm assuming he's alive, still have that horrible feeling though.

Now that all dc's are asleep am feeling v emotional over what happened. Oh God, I'm bawling now. There was awhile when I was still about 5mins away, he got back into car & started driving, my dd started screaming & x was screaming & I thought he was going to ram the car into a wall or the river. I stayed really calm but the terror was bubbling beneath the surface, I kept talking to dd & she calmed down & I told her to tell x to pull in that I was just around corner. I couldn't even ring police as I had to keep dd on phone.

I have apt first thing tomorrow with counsellor who knows situation & x so will see what comes out of that. Will also inform solicitor & see what she advises at this point.

Sorry I know this thread was set up for a more light hearted reason but this is what's going on for me at the moment & I feel I've made friends here.

I'm meeting Womaniser for lunch tomorrow. He's coming to my town and buying me lunch. He sent me enough beer-fuelled texts and emails over the weekend. i ignored most of them then finally offered to send him the number for DrunkTexters Anonymous.

A lovely new potential has just emailed me via Match! 10 years older, 2 kids, divorced, nice photo.

And X has a hugely swiollen face because he's got an abcess in his skanky teeth.

Thankyou startingover.

Please ladies, don't try Smooch, I had an email from a 'gent', lovely picture of him lying on his bed with his tongue out, asking if I wanted some fun. I replied no thanks, his response was "oh".

Lunch sounds good Beautiful

startingover - oh you poor thing. Is your ex on medication for the psychosis? Something happening to the DC when I'm not with them (because of the split) is my deepest fear.

Hi Beauty, x was on medication to stabilise mood swings but has been abusing other medication so is really unstable for a long time now. He appeared slightly more stable a few weeks ago & access was re-established but he started to slide again with the past week. It's a fu*k up for dc's!

Hope things go well for you with womaniser.

Your DC's have you to talk sense into them though starting. It sounds like a nightmare though.

Thanks fluffy, you've no idea how hard this has all been. The dc's adore him. I can only hope he's signed himself in somewhere by tomorrow, however that's probably unlikely so I'll have to make that hard decisions.

You know it's for the best though, even if you can't see it now. Look at the long term effects of him getting the help he needs. You'll all come through this and it will make you stronger, even if you can't see it now you will be OK.

Thanks Fluffy.

Just quickly Beauty have cated you - MN Towers have to send it on I think.

Starting -so sorry you and DCs had to go through that - hope you can get some support - sorry you have the same sadnesses

Yes do have to get Xmas organised - complications are that nearly all family overseas. Usually go to H family. Fluffy - good idea- but suitable friends I think will either be away, with own large family so none really in same boat. But will get brain in gear what to do.

Just off to take DD to ballet - happy time

Forgot to say Beauty you have to be registered for MN Cat for it to work!Have you handed over your fiver?

Hi mumfun, yes I am registered for CAT.
What about taking the DC away to a hotel for Christmas? Somewhere completely different with lots of kid-friendly activities, a spa for you, and a complete break/change of scene.

Then maybe arrange a family buffet/drinks party when you get back (or before) so you can see any relatives then?

Hello all, very quickly reading and running as I still have poorly dcs but wanted to send a (()) to startingover. Hope everything is ok and that your xh gets the help he needs.

Will catch up later when dcs are in bed and the persistant cries of "mama I want a banana now" have subsided...

Thanks Mavis. Have spent the day talking to counsellors & police (in between school runs etc). I have someone calling to house in an hr to take a statement. think he'll end up in jail but am trying to insist he's put in for psychatric help instead.

I am about ready to explode! Twazzock's status update on FB is how much he's missing someone (doesn't say who), then he went from single, to a relationship, then to single again. I've now hidden his status! Arsehole!

Fluffy - no contact -its the only way - and kick him off your FB.

Beauty - good Xmas idea.I think my kids would complain tho as used to having a busy family filled Xmas day. However will keep in mind!Maybe Boxing or other few days!

Starting - hope you can persuade them psychiatric help - but know resources there are under a lot of pressure so sometimes that influences them completely wrongly!