Beautiful's Road to Recovery for the Recently Ditched

[BEAUTlFUL]

Dearly Be-Chucked, we are gathered here today because, for whatever reason, our man has dumped us!

Whether we were dating, cohabiting or married, we are now to use therapist-speak well effed-off about the whole business and are desperate to regain our fabulosity.

Well, this is the place! This is where we regain our positivity, our self-confidence and eventually our mojos. We might think at the moment that we'd also like to regain our men, but that might not last long, as we'll soon realise that anyone who could put us through this does not deserve us.

Come in and start regaining your brilliance! I will be setting us exercises to complete that are based vaguely on self-help books, beauy tips and Feng Shui, or we'll just have a right good bitch until we feel completely drained and sick of the sound of our ex's names. Whatever works.

Ladies I have it, new dumpling slogan

2010: we'll be fuckin again

I love '2010- Fuckin again', Startingovernow and let's bleeding hope so - I'm starting to feel a bit obsessed.

And hello everyone !

I sorry, I'm not really as shallow as I sound. Honest.

Itcertwas, thanks for the tip off. Will have to give the speed dating a go then when it next comes to my area.

Like 2010: we'll be happy again

X just rang to talk to dc's & called me a fuckin edjit. What a dickhead. Hung up & switched off phone.

2010: we'll be stunnin again

christ I've become obsessed. These stupid slogans are popping into my head all day.

Mind you I think I surpassed myself with
2010 : we'll be fuckin again (love it)

Just walked back into kitchen & this popped into my head.

2010: we'll be rockin again

Am slighly ashamed of my obsession as this point, the only good think is at least I'm not thinkin of X

Startingover I don't think you're obsessed, think of it as an expression of creativity and resilience -bubbling up to the surface as an antidote to dealing with knobnose, and while we're on that subject - ' fuckin edjit' ? what's the matter with the man, it's hardly classy, is it ?

Caramela, he called me a fuckin edjit because I complained him to my sol for calling me a whore & cunt in front of dc's during last access drop! Guess it should be obvious who's the fuckin edjit! As for whore & cunt, it was the other way around. He's completely mentally unstable at the mo, it's not just with me it's with everyone.

Blimey, he sounds like a complete nightmare,it must be awful having to deal with that kind of arsewipe.

Perhaps he'll be involved in a bizarre household accident like the one with the man who was mowing his lawn barefoot and amputated his big toe only for it to be catapulted through the air and into his eye, blinding him, only in the case of your ex maybe him using a foodprocesser naked, balancing precariously above it on a stool, inadvisably leaning forward and then having his organ of generation embed itself in his frontal lobe. Just a thought.

Carmela - do you work for Rospa (or whatever the Freaky Household Accidents That You Would Never Believe people are called)

2010 - not bedbound with phlegmn? Not quite the sentiment we're after but all that kept popping into my head.

Well, tomorrow was supposed to be my first child free morning in months. Ds2 is starting with a child minder one morning a week so naturally ds1 has chosen today to come down with a raging temp and general malaise. Sigh.

Startingover - much sympathy for having to put up with such unacceptable behaviour. for your dcs too. I think that's the hardest bit, knowing that my boys lives will have the shadow of 'daddy left' hanging over them.

Anyway, as I'm not having my morning off tomorrow I am getting out the nail varnish this evening and having a night off the uni work.

Hope everyone has a lovely evening - another day down, another step nearer fabulousness!

Hi all, is anyone there?

Bit of a crisis happening here and am in a state. Don't have anyone in RL to talk to at the moment. As some of you know, I cannot talk about certain stuff on here and I was wondering whether any of you have knowledge of social services. If so, would anyone be prepared to give me their e-mail address to talk on Messenger or something?

God sorry it's a really tall order and will understand if it's not appropriate. I'm not thinking straight at the moment.

Hope everyone is doing OK.

Hi Lamby, just logged on. Can't send you a private message & not sure if I'll be able to help you but anyway I'll take my chances posting this here [email protected] will get me

Caramela, deffinately pursue the writing career, that gave me the best laugh ever. He's actually gone so bad, I'm half ashamed that I married someone capable of becomming such a twunt.

I get confused on if having developed a mental illness/personality disorder actually excuses this behaviour. I'm not sure what to believe really, is he genuinely not really responsible or has he just become an evil pr*ck?

Mavis, it is very difficult with the dc's. It was bad enough us separating but really they lost their father aswell. If you told me this would have happened I would never have believed it as he adored the dc's. I've had to get professional help to make sure I'm handling it right with the dc's.

They still adore him though & miss him terribly

Lamby, hope you're ok. I can set up a new yahoo email or whatever if you need me to

StartingOver thanks so much for your e-mail address. I'm having probs accessing my e-mail account at the mo. I know it's late so don't want to keep you up. If I get through I'll mail you but please don't wait up. Just so grateful for someone that cares. Will hopefully speak tomorrow. Thank you so much and take care.

Lamby, whatever is going on for you at the moment you'll get through it. I've gone through some horriffic stuff & come out the other side smiling (most days anyway). Keep strong & I'll be up for another 20 mins or so if you get yourself sorted.

Lamby, I know you are having such a rough time of it. You will get through it, you are strong, never forget that.

Does anyone else here feel that they have kind of 'lost' who they are? I feel like I need to re-discover who I am again, learn to love myself again. The way XP ended things over msn made me feel worthless, like I wasn't worth a phone call, the way he 'deleted' me out of his life so easily made me feel like disgarded rubbish.

I think my motto for 2010 will be;

2010: Find me again!

Oh No, I have just remembered his Christmas present is here. I bought it ages ago, I don't want it, I don't know anyone else who will want it either - it was bought with him in mind...

So what do I do with it???

I have thought about sending it to him anyway, I know his dd will like it, it is somthing that will go perfectly with something she bought for him...

I don't know...

Hi Squirrel, don't give him the present. Sell it on eBay, or give it to a charity shop. Someone else will like it. don't worry about his DD either. Really, he will feel SO cocky if you give him a gift! It will give out very Wrong Messages, like you are still "hanging on" and thinking of him all day. That man does not deserve a present from wonderful, fabulous YOU!

Lamby, how are you today? can you contact the Social Services now? We're here if you need to talk.

Squirrel - yes, I definitely feel like I've lost who I am! I don't even know what kind of music I like, what I like to eat, drink, wear... That's the best thing to come out of this split, to be honest - the chance to rediscover myself.

I'm going to keep up the dates that i've made but calm down on the dating for a while! It did the trick and got me over X, but from now till January I want to date myself for a bit. Go on a diet, sort out my routine at home with the DC, get a career plan going, make new work contacts, etc... Then of course, sod's law - another bloke will come along and wreck it all again!

Have been lurking on this brilliant thread so thought I'd join in.

I was actually the dumper ( back in March ). Then had a couple of flings, but both ended quite badly and I got my fingers burnt a little. Then exp found someone else! So I toyed with idea of getting back with him and have now come to my senses.

Since about July I have stopped trying to date and calmed myself right down! I've spent time in the gym, bought a juicer, worked on finding more work, booked a 3 week holiday, spent weekends staying with my friends, read books I've meant to read and films I've meant to watch and generally NOT thinking or worrying about meeting someone else or feeling a panic about it.

People tell me all the time how great I look. I am now feeling calmer, happier and more content than I have done for years!! I have no man, no drama and honestly don't care. I wasn't happy with my exp and look back now and think: 'What did I actually get out of all that?' All of my friends are with someone or marrying now and I just try and see it as a different time in their lives to mine. Maybe it will happen for me one day, maybe it won't. Until then anyway I just don't want to waste time with either the wrong person or trying desperately to find someone. It's just me and my darling d and is IS possible to be happy on your own. Hooray! What a relief!

Afternoon all,

Lamby checked in a few times this am to see if you'd posted. Hope you're ok.

Littlest, welcome to the club

Squirrel, Do not give present, you'll feel like crap after & it'll lead to further hurt & rejection. Get rid of it asap to avoid temptation.

Beauty/Squirrel/Itwas/Littlest, I agree women can tend to loose themselves in relationships & dc's etc.. I have spent the past few years refinding myself & it's great. Jumping into a new relationship to try & fix yourself after a break up is always a disaster. In the long run if you've been hurt you have to deal with the emotional pain sooner or later. I'm glad I took the last 13/14 mts to get myself right. Am only just begining to feel that I might be ready to slowly move on i.e. dating etc..

Did have v brief interlude with eager puppy type recently but had to get rid as had nothing in common. I'd be v fussy now about who I'd be with.