Beautiful's Road to Recovery for the Recently Ditched

[BEAUTlFUL]

Dearly Be-Chucked, we are gathered here today because, for whatever reason, our man has dumped us!

Whether we were dating, cohabiting or married, we are now to use therapist-speak well effed-off about the whole business and are desperate to regain our fabulosity.

Well, this is the place! This is where we regain our positivity, our self-confidence and eventually our mojos. We might think at the moment that we'd also like to regain our men, but that might not last long, as we'll soon realise that anyone who could put us through this does not deserve us.

Come in and start regaining your brilliance! I will be setting us exercises to complete that are based vaguely on self-help books, beauy tips and Feng Shui, or we'll just have a right good bitch until we feel completely drained and sick of the sound of our ex's names. Whatever works.

Someone stop me from texting him, I am my own worst enemy at times like this - The head says no but the heart says yes...

The way he has 'earased' me out of his life so easily really hurts. Finding myself asking 'Did he ever think anything of me?'

I know he isn't worth my tears but I am crying buckets again this morning.

Arrrrrgh, so annoyed with myself for feeling like this...

Ah squirrel, sorry to hear you had a bad night. This will pass, I had loads of days that I felt I was going backwards. It's all part of the process of moving forward.

Delete his no from you phone, if you've to look it up it will make it more difficult for you to slip up. DoNot text him, it will only make you feel worse. Ring a friend instead, preferable someone who will give you a reality check i.e. remind you that he was a twunt.

Suirrel, when I was tempted to text my X, I just used to imagine his reading it and laughing and feeling really arrogant. Or him showing it to another woman! The urge passes very soon, it's like nicotine cravings: almost irrestistable, but over in 3 minutes.

My mobile phone fell out of my back pocket and into the loo yesterday when I pulled my trousers down to pee! it drowned.

Now I can see if texts come in, but can't reply to them, which is SO GOOD for keeping me all elusive.

Have gone off Womaniser. Am looking forward to meeting lovely-sounding HotProspect for coffee next week or week after.

Lizzy, I'm not young. I'm 38. I was too old for most of the speeddating events and had to find a SPECIAL ONE for oldies! Hopefully they'll give us a bit more time to get to the next table, and to change our Tenas.

I can only go out on Wednesdays as X has the kids overnight, and every other weekend. I know I'm lucky that he is great with them. It's not party central here!

I've also realised that all these thoughts of other men have taken my attention away from my DC a bit, so I'm focussing on them now. They really are the only men I can rely on at the moment!

Good for you beautiful!

Camp guy's asked me out for coffee again.

Morning all! Feeling better today so seizing upon that and trying not to get down again.

Beautiful - do you have boys then? If so you really are the 'London me' - 38, 10yrs married etc etc... Rather a drastic step to remain elusive but if drowing your mobile is the way to go then hey ho!

Squirrel - so sorry you're having a rough time. Keep posting and stop texting, you will get there. One day you'll look back on twunt and think, how could I ever have any feelings for him whatsoever. Honestly you will.

Startingover - I know what you mean about cabin fever. X is abroad still and will be away for most of next year. Friends have offered to babysit but they all have dcs and anyway, it's them I'd want to go out with!

Anyhoo, ds2 looks like he's about to get stuck under a table again. Best go!

Beautiful, the urge has past... I just keep reminding myself what a spineless twunt he is.

Beauty, exact same happened to my mobile. Can't cope without as all my friends contact me on mobile, so had a new 1 within the hr.

Mavis, glad your feeling better this am.

Have an apt with sol & should be on way but have wasted past hr googling to see if there are any single events in my area for xmas (nada). Did slight detour to singles website, wish I hadn't, my friends 18yo was advertising his services for sex!!!!!!! What is wrong with people. That's me put completely off dating websites again, am again convinced they're full of sex deviants & wierdos (sorry beauty).

Some of the organisations/groups I'm involved with should be organising xmas events so will just have to try them instead. There's a single guy in college my age that's quite nice & I know where he goes out, have just thought that if all else fails I might ask him could I go on one of his nights out (pathetic I know but could be a possibility). All my friends are married so I need to find singles to socialise with.

Right I'm defo gone now. Have to get to bank & sol.

Startingover...is your sol appointment regarding split? I need to see someone to find out exactly my entitlements but haven't got round to it yet. Hope you get on ok.

And ewww at friends 18 year old. Not what you want to be seeing!

Have nearly worked my way through all the haribo in the house now (leftovers from halloween). I can feel a haribo high followed by a huge sugar crash coming one. Prepare for depressing posts later on!

Squirrel - glad the urge has passed. Keep smiling!

I just can't imagine myself on the dating scene again. I am sure at some point I will want to but not yet.

The thought of speed dating would scare the life out of me! You are so brave...

I had a little look on match.com, even went as far as starting a profile, then chickened out. lol

Maybe in a couple of months time... I have decided to 'allow' myself until the new year to heal. Yes, I know it is not an exact science and everyone and every situation is different but I figure a new year, a new start!

Morning all - just a quick one to say sorry if you've been feeling a bit down but glad the moments have passed.

Managing to resist the urge to contact is a huge thing so you should give yourself a manly pat on the back for that!

I would love to go speedating and reckon it would be a good laugh, esp if a few went along. Sadly, as Mavis will probably verify, living in the arse-end of nowhere mean a total lack of such things a speedating, salsa classes etc.

we are now in round three of the sickness bug in my house, dd had it, i've had it and now ds (14) has it - sounds like he's just thrown up on the bathroom floor so better go!

Squirrel - I know what you mean about dating. I was rubbish at that kind of thing before I got married and I'm 10 years older now so heaven help me!

I find that if I look at dating sites I almost feel as if I'm being unfaithful which is frankly ridiculous. So, anyway, I'm obviously not ready yet.

New Year is a good begining. Perhaps we should start working out 2010 is going to be a whole lot better!

LOVE the idea of New Year/New Us. You girls are awesome. We need slogan though... have thought of a few:

2010: We're starting Again
2010: All lofty and Zen
2010: With loads of new MEN
2010: Hope we're not dumped again
2010: We'll look like Stefani, Gwen

Hmm. Do please feel free to add your own!

Have another coffee coming up, this time with 50-year-old rich-sounding (hooray!) divorcee. He has 4 kids, all grown up except a 9 y/o girl. With him being 50, reckon I'll feel all young. It might be like Paul and Heather! Brief marriage, then DC and I can live in luxury rest of lives.

Why is it so easy to be light and breezy with the ones you don't like? With him, I have always waited 24 hours to reply to messages, then been all happy and agonisingly brief. He asked me if I had any dates lined up - I said I had a few (to inspire feeling of manly competitiveness) and he SHOT back a message asking me out on a date! Hee hee.

I think in 2010 you should all create online-dating profiles. You can have till then to heal, drink, moan, sob, chuck out smug-married outfits and do exercise DVDs while listening to self-confidence hypnosis tapes on iPod. But as soon as January hits, get on there!

January is always busiest time of year for online-dating as people have lonely Xmas then look ahead to bleak, suicidal Feb 14th. So we'll get you all up there.

Oh, and don't be depressed if local searches only pull up axe-murderers and Care-in-Community-looking nutjobs. All the nice-looking ones who've contacted me never came up in my searches. They all just fell into my inbox. (Ooer.)

Well, I'm feeling a whole lot better today - Have been researching a bit of family history on "Ancestry" and in an idle moment just decided to check out X's previous marriages as I couldn't work out why he said his oldest son was the product of marrying at a very young age. he did tell me he had mbeen married 3 times

1. Far too young didn't work out and pushed into marriage by MIL as she had won a competition that was relevant

1. Unfaithful hussy

1. Felt sorry for her and she asked him on 29 Feb or Valentines day and he couldn't say no !!!!

Anyway my checks revealed he had been married 4 - yes 4 times! If you can lie about the number of times you have been married then really what can you be trusted about. Now fully convinced it was indeed not me it was him i.e. me genuine him total lying tosser. Back to the decorating.

Mavis, we've loads in common, I've been chewing on the haribo from halloween too. Sol apt was just to sign a form. I filed for legal separation in June. Have a shithot sol, will cost a fortune but will be worth it.

I think being 10 yrs older & around the block a bit makes dating far easier, we'll be more confident, know exactly what we're not looking for after exp with x's, etc..

Cannot get images of friend's freaky 18yo out of head, am repulsed. I don't think I'll be able to cope with online dating, the prospects in my area would just make me feel like telling x he's forgiven come home. There is one however for professionals etc called just for lunch that I think I might check out. You don't get to view profiles online, you're just matched up with like minded individuals for a date.

Beauty, beware the 50yo rich sounding divorcee, add a dc & he could be my x.... Rich sounding is all he'll ever be though by time divorce is through. Ha,ha

Love the new slogans

2010: will get us men!
2010: it'll b rainin men
2010: I'm becomin lesben

2010: Lets find us men!

"2010: I'm becomin lesben" -- lol, dying here!

I'm going to buy the John Gray book, "Mars & Venus: Starting Over" - even though apparently it says that divorced/separated women must not rush into having lots of lovely sex with someone new.

startingover... that lunch one sounds OK, but do the men get to see your pictures at all before they meet you? Men are so visual, I can't see it working if it's literally just completely blind dates. Maybe for a quick drink, but lunch could take an hour!

I'd rather have something where men can see my photos first and contact me if they like my appearance. Saves a lot of time.

Starting... did you mean "Only Lunch"? I just googled it, it's an introduction agency. In other words, ££££.

2010: I'll trust again!

Beauty, that's the one. Figured if it saves me from the freaks advertising online in my area it'll be £££ well spent. Am waiting for someone to contact me back, so I'll let you know how it works when I find out.

Just made rice crispie buns with dc's house is covered in choc & so are dc's.

Oh God, ds just climbed on my lap & said 'I miss daddy, when is he coming home?'. I wish X could see what he's done to dc's.

2010: I'm gonna find me men!

God, I'm such a sad individual. House is a mess & I'm thinking of rhymes.

My Dating Schedule

Monday 16th: Lunch with Womaniser

Wednesday 18th: Speed-arghh-dating

Saturday 21st: AM - Coffee with 50 y/o rich divorcee; PM - out prowling for men with other dumped single-mum friend

Saturday 28th: Womaniser date booked in ages ago, we'll see if he remembers/honours it

I have to lose weight! Even if just 7-10lbs to make myself feel am on the way towards slimness.