Beautiful's Road to Recovery for the Recently Ditched

[BEAUTlFUL]

Dearly Be-Chucked, we are gathered here today because, for whatever reason, our man has dumped us!

Whether we were dating, cohabiting or married, we are now to use therapist-speak well effed-off about the whole business and are desperate to regain our fabulosity.

Well, this is the place! This is where we regain our positivity, our self-confidence and eventually our mojos. We might think at the moment that we'd also like to regain our men, but that might not last long, as we'll soon realise that anyone who could put us through this does not deserve us.

Come in and start regaining your brilliance! I will be setting us exercises to complete that are based vaguely on self-help books, beauy tips and Feng Shui, or we'll just have a right good bitch until we feel completely drained and sick of the sound of our ex's names. Whatever works.

Ok I've decided to join.

A little scared as you all seem so together but maybe if I join I will be a little more together too!

Support the comment made on St John's Wort btw. After years of life with an uncommunicative twunk I was hugely miserable and found that a few months of SJW made a huge difference. Not taken it now for ages and still feeling like the cloud has lifted .

There's no need to be scared Lizzy, welcome

Hi Lizzy, good to hear from you. Don't be fooled, we're not all together. Some days I am some days not.

How are you doing?

Well mostly ok - in fact would be completely ok if twunk would disappear off the face of the earth and if kids were not teenagers!

Can definitely say that after a totally sh** year, life is better without twunk. If only I could say "I divorce thee, I divorce thee, I divorce thee" and he would disappear......

Noooo! I really like Womaniser! I've only deleted his details so I can't give in to my urge to text him allllll daaaaayyyyyy. I am not going to speak to him at all tomorrow or day after, to try to: a) Get grip on self; and b) Work him into a frenzy of keenness.

Hi lizzy6! Don't be fooled by our facade of togetherness - really we are all just one romantic song away from a breakdown!

It's lovely to have you here.

Well, at least you are going into this with your eyes open hey!

I spoke to mine, gran dead, uncle/aunt fleeced her out of loads of money, jewellery missing from the house, aunt/uncle moaning at his parents for money. I'm not surprised he has trust issues.

MuthaHubbard, I said exactly that about being 'the old cat lady that all of the local children are frightened of' to a friend of mine yesterday!

The strange thing is I do have cats!

Lamby, yes when they delete you just like that it is like you are thrown away like a piece of rubbish. I just wish I could delete him from my head as easily as he deleted me.

My email to the local AmDram group was bounced back at me, and thinking about it they are probably busy with Christmas etc so will try again in the new year.

New year, New life, New start!

Womaniser was Online Now! on Match this morning, so I looked at SpeedDating events instead to remind self there are millions of men in World. There is one next Wednesday night in London, but I have nobody to go with! (Unless any of you fancy it???)

Would it be sad or empowering to go by myself? Then zip off at the end, like Cinderella, and not hang about for the chatting bollocks afterwards?

Could I say that my "friend" let me down at the last moment? I could wear my lovely new date dress...

OOh in the future I might be up for speed dating but Im not there yet - not ready for the dating thing. Not got him enough out of my head. Not as disciplined as Beauty!

Is anyone else in the London or south of it area - just being nosy and also thinking maybe group meetup?

And welcome Lizzy - Im together some days but spectacularly not on Sunday- contact with H day surprise surprise. We havent done a confessions of the bad days weve had this week but if we did you would see me not together many times!

I would LOVE to meet up. Mumfun, we might be quite close to each other. that would be so much fun!

OK, am all booked into the SpeedDating Event and am already dreading it, thinking, "Why oh why did I book this? I'm OLD and a MUM and ARGH!"

But still, it'll be... um, no, I can't think of any positives at all! Eeek.

What happened on Sunday, mumfun? Share with the group.

Afternoon Ladies,

Lamby, that gave me a laugh 'elusive super woman type', you should see me on my bad days doing the school run in my pj's & trying to hide in car(tg can drive right to door of dd's school). Don't work outside of home, gave up with last dd, have enough to juggle with college, dc's etc..

Mavis, that's a coincidence you, me & lamby all in the same field. Well done to us all & we'll have great empathy for future clients from our exp (don't know how we'll manage with twunts though!!).

Mumfun, I know exactly what you mean by contact days being difficult.

Welcome Lizzy.

Oh Beauty, I'd love to go speed dating with you. It's something I'd really like to have a go at as I think it'd be a good laugh & I've no one to drag with me but am far far from London unfortunately.

Wear your new dress & have a ball. I am going to say this for the last time (already said below), you are not old, I am only a yr younger than you & I consider myself to be a youthful creature in her prime.

No more negative self comments will be tolerated on this thread, we were already battered enough by our respective dumpers & do not need to be engaging in this behaviour. Our mantras will be (regardless of age, no of dc's, weight, etc), we are beautiful wonderful women & any man will be lucky to have us as future mates (or just for a shag for that matter). Focus ladies, positivity all the way.

Hello everyone, lizzy I'm sooo not together, yesterday I foolishly cast off the sequinned dress and 5 inch high f-you shoes of proud Dumpettedom and climbed into the cack brown crimpelene slacks and khaki loafers of depair for a while, crying myself to sleep (sadly resulting in an unattractively flakey nose today, good job I didn't bump into Rufus Sewell down the shops ).

We will all emerge from our travails even more fantastic than we were before ( I hope if I say it often enough, I'm going to believe it ).

I'm not together at all, just over my head in Denial. The way I'm now obsessing over Womaniser proves that to me. I'm sort of hoping other men will be like HRT - Husband Replacement Therapy - that I can take for a couple of years then stop after I've successfully gone through the Manopause underneath.

Mumfun, I am from the south east, not that far from London.

Beautiful, I am a grandmother and you feel old???

Caramela & Beauty, your talents are wasted here on MN, you should join forces & write an inspiring novel to cheer up women who have been struck by misfortune (i.e. men). Both of ye're last posts were v funny.

Hi All,

Just a quickie as off out for dinner ....

Beauty - definitely go to speeddating on your own. It's much more fun as you HAVE to interact with everyone else. Oh, and do stay for the drinks after as you'll have the chance to chat to all your favourites. And maybe change your mind about the less than favourites!

If anyone's thinking of meeting up in London then I could do that as am from the South East. I'll be the other big fat one not drinking

I'll be the fat one doing pumagirl's and itwascertainlyasurprise's drinking for them! lol

Hello all, just checking in to see how you all are...

Feeling really flat today, just couldn't be bothered with anything which is a little tricky to pull off with the little ones forcing you to be busy. Have tried to compensate by doing a workout this evening however have just stuffed my face with haribo so have successfully undone all my hard work!

A meetup would be fantastic however tricky for me as I'm in Scotland so I'll have to do a live video link-up.

Right, will catch-up properly tomorrow when I'm in a better mood. See ya then

Oh yes a meet up! great idea, south of London or Londonish could be good

Speed dating, beauty you are so brave! and I guess young (I missed the ages somewhere along the line) and beautiful

It all sounds like great fun - my problem is balancing the "being a superhuman mum" (and dad it seems) v. going out having a good time. Want to do both but messy and kids really do need loads of help at the mo

Strange how one can go from feeling old and bit past it/fearful to party hearty

Oh and forgot, MavisGrind, stay positive and do things that make you happy!

Just know you'll feel better tomorrow...

Evening Dumplings,

Feeling slightly sorry for self tonight so can relate to you Mavis. Am also where you are Lizzy, I've had to give dc's 110% for to try & keep their lives as happy as possible & to be there for them emotionally.

Have moments though when I feel slightly trapped & I can feel resentful of X who is living his own life, can go out without having to consider dc's etc. X is v mentally unstable with awhile so access has been v difficult, has only seen kids 4 times over past few mts. I've v little practical support so getting out & getting a life will be v hard.

Up to now it's been fine as I've needed the time to heal but feel the beginings of cabin fever setting in. Anyone any ideas on how we could all take advantage of the xmas spirit & launch our new social lives?

Having a bad day, kept waking up thinking about him.

Feel so sad today, even found myself hoping that he is missing me as much as I am missing (though I seriously doubt that)

It seems I take one step forward then two back.