Oh God Ladies, I am so exhausted now it's not funny. Just spent last 3.5hrs bathing dc's, trying to get them to bed, hoovering house (was a health hazzard so had to be done), changed sheets on all of beds (again another possible health hazzard so had to be done), made lunches for dc's, took down halloween decorations (we have a lot & again this couldn't be avoided at this late stage) during all of the above the two dc's that kept me awake were gone overtired & I'd a real battle getting them down, another dc is burning up & I'd say I'm in for a dose with her. Am worn out now but at least they're all asleep now.
Itwas, I hope you're feeling a bit better now after the vino. I went through the same last yr when I split from xh for first time, some of the people I considered to be friends really showed their true colours. It was v painful at the time but I am now so glad to have them out of my life, none of them were any good really. True friends would be there for you at such a difficult time.
'I really want him to realise how shit he's treated me and I want his friends to know what a wanker he's been.' Oh, I so know what you mean by this, truth is they are generally so far in denial of their own behaviour that they wouldn't know the truth if it hit them in the face. My xh's version of events is complete fabrication & couldn't be further from the truth. I've found trying to battle them on this is completely futile & you only end up mentally deranged from it yourself. Better to leave him with his version, the truth always outs in the end anyway. As for his friends, they are going to believe what they want to believe so again another complete waste of time. If your x was prepared to admit how shit he'd treated you he'd be on his bended knees begging forgiveness & offering to do anything to put things right. It's generally easier to blame the other person & move onto the next victim. You're right though at least by next year you'll be back on tract while he'll most likely have a trail of destruction.
I think anyone who leaves a marriage for purely selfish reasons is only going to end up in one direction, that's down, they can't move onto something better whereas us poor dumplings are the complete opposite, things can only get better for us. Yippee
Lamby, that's an amazing coincidence. I went the route of psychology first & am now doing first yr of counselling skills, won't be doing practice hrs until next yr. I have done an awful lot of personal counselling though & it has really stood to me in all this. No way would I give it up, I've put in too much hard work. I posted here fri though that I had been presented with an award (I had no idea I was getting this). I graduated with the highest points for 09, as a result I am now thinking that I might move back into the academic side again next yr. I'll have to make a decision over the next few wks. It has given me a great boost, my award is taking center place in the house at the mo.
I so relate to what you said about having to keep the weight down to feel good about yourself. On the last 2 dc's I piled on the weight (believe it or not nearly 6st on one & 3.5 on the other, but it wasn't from overeating) After each, I forced myself to walk miles everyday & use a stepper by night & had weight gone by 3mts each time. This was purely for myself as I knew I wouldn't feel good about myself otherwise. I dress sexier & feel better about myself when I've no extra weight. Xh used to complain that I was too skinny but I think that was because he's about 5st overweight & I used to show him up, ha, ha.
In fact, that's one thing that never fails to cheer me up, my figure is great (aside from non-existant boobs due to too much breast feeding but I counteract this by wearing these amazing padded bra's I found & I constantly see men admiring my chest which gives me a great kick when I know it's all false), I've loads of confidence (due to maturity & counselling), and really I can thank xh for all of this because if he wasn't such a shit I'd probably have left myself go & wouldn't have had the benefit of counselling so would probably have been fu*ked up also. Reminder to self, must write him a thank you letter for making me the woman I am today, ha, ha. I think it drives him crazy actually when he sees how well I'm looking & how well I'm doing, I can see the rage in him that I've come out of this so well & on a bad day it can help.