Beautiful's Road to Recovery for the Recently Ditched

[BEAUTlFUL]

Dearly Be-Chucked, we are gathered here today because, for whatever reason, our man has dumped us!

Whether we were dating, cohabiting or married, we are now to use therapist-speak well effed-off about the whole business and are desperate to regain our fabulosity.

Well, this is the place! This is where we regain our positivity, our self-confidence and eventually our mojos. We might think at the moment that we'd also like to regain our men, but that might not last long, as we'll soon realise that anyone who could put us through this does not deserve us.

Come in and start regaining your brilliance! I will be setting us exercises to complete that are based vaguely on self-help books, beauy tips and Feng Shui, or we'll just have a right good bitch until we feel completely drained and sick of the sound of our ex's names. Whatever works.

Could campness be an issue though? A couple of the campest blokes I know are straight. There would possibly be benefits when going shopping together too. Ha!

Right. Trying to get an early night - night all!

Hi Ladies, im back, slightly more composed after reading your threads.

Beauty, I know what you mean re the unending road of druggery etc.. unfortunately had to sack cleaner due to seperated financial insecurity & valium is what put him in the state he is so think I'll give that route a pass.

My exh was suffering from a breakdown for past few mts & so bypassed the dc's, he's come bounding back over past while & wants to resume parental duties, hense the rage coursing through my veins presently. As it so happens I was also suffering from major breakdown symptoms due to his fuckduckery but did not have to luxury to swoon into self centered, self obsessed, self absorbtion... dc's still had to be fed, etc.

I don't know. He's a mere distraction though I'm sad to say. I said I'd meet him again though so who knows.

Night Mavis

Hello Dumplings,

Am loving the dating stories .... will store away all the top tips until the time is right to put on my best knickers and get out there again.

Don't think it'll take two years itwascertainly - am hoping to be out on the prowl again in a year or so (am loving your plan for next year btw - go girl!).

I just got the loveliest email ever from my Match man, saying he will take me out in [my town] on Fri, Sat or Sun night. It was so well-written and funny and normal and open and nice... A million miles away, in fact, from ArrogantEx!

I'm free Friday night and could meet him, but now I'm stressing that I'm too fat! I've only lost 3lbs since X left... Which sort of leaves 2 stone, 11lbs to lose in three days!

ShitShitShit. But aaahhh!

Do you not get to know them first? Emails etc?

I never saw the point. You only fall in love with their emails first and are then tragically gutted when you see them in real life and they're hideous. I like exchanging a few brief messages then cut to the disappointment.

True, I worry about them being a psychopath though.

My 'friend's been coming and going offline all night, I'm holding it well though, have not caved in. I'm proud of myself for this.

startingovernow: yes, I'm afraid it's online-dating all the way... Or hang around McDonald's on weekends and flirt with all the Saturday Dads.

Hmm. I've joined a sports club and a gym so I'll see what I can see

Well done for your self-control, Fluffster. Now mark my words: Friend will reappear, all keen, tomorrow or Thursday. Don't cave in then! Keep this up. You've done vv well, I know how agonising it is, really.

He's coming round to set the fireworks off for us at some point, we've not arranged a date/time yet though. He's still online, hasn't been on the fish site. It's hard, it needs to be done though. I should have done this at the start, I just hope it's not too late.

Thankyou
You are a fab woman, your ex should be kicking himself, he must be a right twonk.

With people on this thread posting about trying internet dating I think we should all be very careful about ending up with someone elses awful ex.

Dear friends, if any of you are approached by a rotund man with a fag hanging out of his mouth who expresses a fondness for dressing up as a knight - esp if he is very interested in whether you can get your legs behind your ears ( one poster on here who should look out!)Beware. he might seem very pleasant to begin with but once you have battled a few too many times with his taught waistband button and had to delve beneath the sweaty overhang in search of dubious pleasure you may wonder why you bothered.

And he will mess up your head.

I am sure there are many similar cautionary tales to he told. But for today I'm just concentrating on not caring and painting my nails.

oops - "taut" not "taught"

Ooh Im back.

And theres been a date and a Beauty near date arranged. Woo hoo.

Was at salsa last night - best night of the week -but too few men last night but will move to next class up next week with much better m:f ratio. There was one lovely chap but in his 20s so not for me!

Beauty - Really liked Alan - but dont do facial hair so not my type.

Looking forward to the dating stories. Love to see Fluffy man profile but probably best not to post on national Mumsnet!

Better get back to some paid employment!

Morning all - well the sun is shining here so have been for a nice walk by the sea with ds2 snoozing contentedly. Lovely.

Have also had to buy a new washing machine though - first big electrical appliance I've bought myself - managed to base purchase on more than what colour I like! Off now to sort out sodden mess that is current washing machine. Ah the glamour of single life..

Have a lovely day all.

Sounds like you had a nice morning Mavis (apart from the washing machine).

He's sent me a text telling me he's had to go into work, I've not replied. How long should I keep this up for? (it's been a long time) What should I say when he asks what I've been doing? (he's not going to get jealous if I say I've been meeting up for coffee).

I've been ironing, oh what fun!

Hello all by theway

Hi all

I've been wallowing in self pity last day or so had a text off the ex saying he so wishes he had done things differently. Blimey does he not think I do too?!
So wallowed moped but bored of that now, have a brand newish man interested in me from match.com which i had all but given up on, we have lots in common but I don't fancy him been on 2 dates and he's lovely but there is no spark for me do you think it grows a bit like a wart? or should I just give him up as a bad move?
I know it sounds shallow but I have so little self esteem left now that a bloke giving me a bit of attention is lovely and I'm terrified of saying thanks but no thanks and then being on the shelf forever (curse that shelf)

Bleugh i never thought I'd be back on the market again at 46, looked on plenty of fish.com and for the age range I put in 39-49 it brought up 9 very strange looking blokes that i really really don't like the look of... is this really all there is left for me?

Sorry to sound pathetic and needy but tbh i feel it today

It's OK loobie

It really pisses me off when they say "what if..." They should have bloody well have tried then!

I don't know about the spark, I recon it's just initial lust just to get you together, it changes over time into a really close frienship with benefits (don't get me started on this, I've argued with my 'friend' a couple of times about it).

Well i do like him we have so much in common same food, same newspaper, same films same music and I think the same values in life although early days.

Maybe i should see him a few more times and see how it goes perhaps I will just do it back to front close friendship and grow to feel full of lust about him ( omg lust it's been soooo long)

Thanks Fluffy it helps just to have someone say yep i know what you mean

I know what you mean about lust!

Mine's odd, we even have exactly the same accidents within the space of 30 minutes. I'd say he was my soul mate if he didn't just want to be a close friend, we have so much in common and get on so well it's difficult. I think you grow fond of people and it can turn into a relationship but it's more like really close friends rather then passionate. Passionate relationships tend to burn out at some point, then people find out they have bugger all in common. the 'spark' thing confuses me though, as does my 'friend'. I've still not replied to his text, it's soooo hard though.

Well done for not replying yes i agree it is hard just don't go near the wine or if you do hide your phone to stop random acts of texting

I think you are spot on about passion that is what it was all about with my ex and once that burnt itself out there was not much left really hence the reason he had affairs I guess.
So perhaps this time round I should accept a non instant lust situation and accept a nice bloke that fingers crossed will not cheat on me

Failing that I suppose i could raid my piggy bank and hire a stud muffin for an evening ..... or maybe not lol

Yo Dumplings!!

So glad to see you all here. Have been v busy today - date is arranged for Friday! Am shitting self, but have bought new dress in anticipation. Yes, that's right, I have bought a brand-new dress, from John Lewis (££), and underwear, for a date with a man I have never met in real life nor spoken to on the phone. Forget desperate housewives, i'm a desperate divorcee!

The brightly lit changing-rooms revealed a few home-truths about how my body is counting down to the big 4-0. It's not looking good, literally. And my forehead is wrinkly! Is it OTT to have £4,000 face-lift for date with man have never met in real life nor spoken to on the phone?

Glad you're all sounding good. Have to whizz round to X's house now to drop bits off for the DC. Chat later!