Beautiful's Road to Recovery for the Recently Ditched

[BEAUTlFUL]

Dearly Be-Chucked, we are gathered here today because, for whatever reason, our man has dumped us!

Whether we were dating, cohabiting or married, we are now to use therapist-speak well effed-off about the whole business and are desperate to regain our fabulosity.

Well, this is the place! This is where we regain our positivity, our self-confidence and eventually our mojos. We might think at the moment that we'd also like to regain our men, but that might not last long, as we'll soon realise that anyone who could put us through this does not deserve us.

Come in and start regaining your brilliance! I will be setting us exercises to complete that are based vaguely on self-help books, beauy tips and Feng Shui, or we'll just have a right good bitch until we feel completely drained and sick of the sound of our ex's names. Whatever works.

Morning all. Didn't get back on last night as had a RL friend call, had my moping hour with her instead. Worked out better as she was quick to point out a few realities.

Had exh on phone already this am with some trivial excuse for ringing, he's deffinately in grovelling mode. Made a decision with RL friend last night that I am not going to discuss anything to do with relationship with him & I'm just going to observe what happens over next few mts. In the meantime I'm getting on with my life & embracing singlehood.

My Tips For the Day

1. Anyone still wearing wedding ring remove it immediately. You cannot embrace singlehood & show independance while wearing same. If necessary this can be worn by night during moping hour for now.

1. Make a gratitude list. List out all of the good things about being single, this really works. It could include some of the following : less housework, less laundry, can have spagetti O's & toast for tea, can still look fabolous but neglect to shave our legs & nobody will be any the wiser, no snoring, can leave same sheets on bed indeffinately, once dc's are in bed can spend hours on MN, future possibility of mind blowing sex with handsome strangers, the list is endless & if you add to this everyday you will begin to want them back less & less.

1. Make a list of all the shit horrible things they did to you, all their bad habits that used to drive you insane etc.

1. Keep the above lists & refer or add to them as necessary, whenever you feel resolve slipping etc

1. Write out a list or story of what our lives will be like with our future mr rights. This could include all the qualities we will be looking for in future partners i.e. the opposite to what we had with our respective dumpers etc.

itwas..."However, I get a beautiful baby and he gets to keep being a emotional retard. I win" ha ha ha exactly!

I'm with you on the when is it ok to actively look? Although not actually dumped when pregnant exH first mooted the possibility of a split when I was 4 months pregnant and then we dragged the whole sorry mess out for another few months, finally calling it a day when ds2 was 7 weeks old. So, I'm still breasfeeding and leaking like a good un which I suspect is a bit too earth mother for most single guys??

Tbh, I just don't think getting involved in the whole dating scene is good for me right now. I want to get a bit more independant of both state and exH before I start out again. I tell you, if I get more girl power I'll start wearning a union jack dress

Oh,and we really need to keep this thread going as we're going to have some babies to coo over soon!

My 'Thank Fork he Left!' list

• No resentment over housework
• Lots of long chats with the kids now I'm starved of adult conversation
• Divorced Cock!
• I can be successful without worrying that it'll bruise a delicate male ego
• I can paint pictures all childfree- weekend without having to stop to tell X where he left something, when his Mum's birthday is, or what the youngest DC is called
• Divorced Cock!
• I don't have to list a load of horrible male qualities and annoying traits then lamely finish it with "...but I love him"
• I can save a fortune on St. Tropez tan by only doing my face, neck and hands
• Divorced cock!

Seal met/started dating Heidi Klum when she was pregnant with another man's baby. So there is hope!

small rant needed (just skyped exh).

Apparently even though by Christmas he will have not seen the boys for 3 months, he has to go to America between 27th and 30th December . It has also just been confirmed that he will be away for 6 weeks next April/May and this in addition to the 6 months he will be abroad that I already know about. Co-parenting my arse!

The boys and I had already arranged to be away for New Year and leave on the 30th. Knob jockey wanted to know what time we were leaving so he could see the boys. Erm, that'll be be on 2nd Jan.

Grrrr. Rant over. Feel better!

Yes def hope when pregnant but I would get myself together TBH and concentrate on baby for a while!

Ooh B - date - exciting! Looking forward to hearing more!

And babies ooh exciting!

I can tell Im a bit different to some on this thread. Wedding ring still on - Im not ready to move on yet but thats ok - as long as I know there is a time thats right for me when I will - with a vengeance

And will talk to H again but cant go to party as bitch OW invited. Refuse to go anywhere she might be. And some of that crowd are also a bit pitying of me - decision actually whether I dump the lot of them - they didnt know about affair I think and Ive been friends a long time but the whole situation is so uncomfortable - but do I duck out and just give bitch OW free rein?

Still having a lot to do with H - my decision because atm Ive got to do what Ive got to do - and I cant bear to split our whole family life up - we still get on so well. And Ive got a lot of other issues in my life so got to do what I can cope with for now (although lots of friends do think I should give up on him) But there you are.

Total grrr for you Mavis - his priorities are telling!

My H works away fair bit but not in this league

You see, I really think there's a lot to be said for never talking to XHs. Every time we do, we get or . I'm working towards rarely actually having to see mine face-to-face.

Wedding ring off the day he suggested trial separation!

I have just signed up for Kids No Object dating, for single parents. Also, have looked at singlewithkids.co.uk They arrange holidays, days out, etc, for single parents (and the kids!) so think I might go along to one of those in the New Year, just for a laugh. Not to meet men, but just to meet people.

It is defintitely healthier not to talk to XHs. Youre doing the right thing. But then Ive got to deal with my life at present.

Single with kids look good - lot of people use them for holidays.

When you become single you definitely need to expand your social life big time. Im definitely doing that as its a good idea whatever happens - no getting stuck in rut any more! And its fun!

Mumfun, I think it's a good idea not to go to the party because unless you'd be able to sail in there cool as a cucumber, look amazing, stay 30 fun-filled minutes then leave again, it wouldn't be worth it.

I might be able to do that, maybe, if all the stars were aligned perfectly, I'd lost 4 stone and had been prescribed a cocktail of drugs by Michael Jackson's doctor... But otherwise, no. So yes, good decision to stay away!

What makes you say that those friends are "pitying" of you? we live nearby, you and me. We could meet up!

Why's he texting me telling me how his day's going?? I'm going to hide tonight so he can't talk to me!!

Single with kids is expensive, are there no other single mum's you can team up with??

Thank goodness for this thread, dumped today by the same 'man' (literally this time last week he was thoroughly enjoying shagging me ). Second time he has kicked me into touch because of his piss-poor, navel-gazing, self -absorbed, bollock-faced, arseholery.

He has a more than a passing facial resemblance in profile to Mr Burns from The Simpsons and his tedious habit of postponing his orgasm for bleeding hours will not be missed.

Sisters unite.

Welcome Carmela, things can only get better from here on in.

Love this, might use it myself at a future date ....'because of his piss-poor, navel-gazing, self -absorbed, bollock-faced, arseholery.' You're in the right place alright as I'd say this adequetely decribes most of the dumpers ha, ha

Sisters unite, yes.

Thankyou startingovernow, I'd never posted before, just lurked on some of the more outlandish threads, which reminds me - had a Brazilian only last Monday, partly to please him, so now both pubic hair and manless - I am bereft.

And can I just say a big thankyou to whoever mentioned wanking into a box of Matchmakers and lactose intolerance, the most I've laughed all day.

Thankyou itcertainlywasasurprise, I have no idea who tells them to keep going for hours - I mean I'm very fond of sex but when you get to the stage where you're thinking ' Just get on with it, there's a packet of Cheddar Kettle Chips over there with my name on them ' it's not a good thing.

"tell him very clearly that you cannot be 'friends' with him as you feel too much for him and it hurts you too much at the moment to be in his life and therefore you will not be in contact until you are genuinely over him and able to be proper friends"

NOOOO*!! Don't do this! Just stop answering your IM thingies and don't go in the shop. Let him wonder why.

Hi all, just checking in before bedtime routine begins.

Today, to make myself feel good I have:

• Consumed 2 litres of mineral water.
• Eaten a salad of spinach, feta, toasted pine nuts and avocado.
• Refreshed nail polish.

Also today, just to piss me off, have received one of ExP's bleatings by e mail! Will not reply I promise.

Welcome Caramela - you made me giggle!

Big thankyou for all the kind words - all your exes must be utterly radio rental to have left such funny, resourceful, fabulous human beings.

( And - update - just had a text he is ' too upset' by my email suggesting that he should finish with me face to face, to reply. He'll have gone off to sit in the dark and examine his fuckwitty navel again )

caramela, where have you been hiding, lady

we need more funny and feisty females on MN

jump in more !

AnyFucker, what a great name, I only wish that I'd gone for funny rather than the Caramac/Carmela from The Sopranos option. I have been 'in love', that's where I've been hiding, like the daft knob I am. I have seen the light.

I'm going to hide from him, I want him to come running, I want to see what he's worth. I have already told him I'm not going to contact him before, he wasn't replying to texts/emails and it pissed me off, he sent a text the following day asking how I was He's a sensitive soul so I need to be careful. If I say I feel too much and need to stay away from him then it will not go down well at the moment, he's on the edge of leaving here already as he's home sick.