But we here are so often pro-female, cos we are the majority, and 'Grr, aren't men arses?'.
It often does help to reverse the genders to see a different perspective. For us to self check our position and fairness.
I've been following and posting on this thread pretty much from the beginning, and I'm now finding myself unable to shake it from my head. It bothers me constantly, it's really got under my skin.
I genuinely don't understand why dear desolate is continuing to put herself through all of this when she literally has every single option she needs at her disposal, to get herself out of it. I whole-heartedly agree with QS recent post, it is exactly where my own mind has taken me these last few days. I was going to back off this thread, because it IS affecting me too much, but at the heart of all these words on a screen lies a woman that so badly needs help, so badly needs to DO SOMETHING.
I've been hit, when I was in another country, what saddened me most was that if I were to ask any female with more than a single brain cell what to do, the screamed answer LEAVE FGS WOMAN, would have been deafening.
The reality however was that I would not have physically been able to get my stuff and my DS down the 4 flights to the street. I couldn't communicate with anyone, my position as a female, and one that had been hit would not have been viewed with anything resembling compassion, more likely I'd have been targetted for more abuse by others.
I also would never have been able to hire a cab, Lord knows where I'd have ended up. Where to go too?, my only friend was travelling, and the last possible resort, the airport was 3 hours away. I was utterly trapped.
desolate is none of these things. She has a flat of her own, a car, a big one, that can take the bulk of her essentials in one go, and she has the time to do it. She needs no help, real help from anyone, she could do it all by herself, but for some reason is choosing not to.
Is she in denial? Is she deluding herself that it'll all turn out OK if she just sticks around? Lord no, it will never do that.
How can anyone unlock that door for her? how can we help her find her way out?
We've begged, shouted, sworn, urged and now the thread is appearing to turn, in impatience at her inability to do the one thing that would help her. Get out.
desolate if you are still 'reading' us (cos I'm not sure you are listening..) what can any one of us do or say to help you get to the better place, your own 4 walls where you can rebuild you dignity, and your life.
Desolate, it's way past time for you to do as the Nobber has asked, and go quietly.
Please tell us you will go, cos I'll have to sadly back away from this thread otherwise, it's too painful to have invade my own RL thoughts. I feel awful for saying that. I'm so sorry desolate, but please, please do the right thing and leave. For you. It's over, it's been over for a very long time. You ignoring it won't change that, it'll just make the damage you are doing to yourself even longer lasting.