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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Will never forget... the most hurtful/ insensitive/ ridiculous comments you heard from DP/DH

128 replies

TrippleBerryFairy · 09/10/2009 14:39

Thought to start this after yesterday I got treated with following:

'...your leaking boobs are not exactly helping with my libido!' - - said as a rude joke (they're ok in our relationship but this has gone waaaay to far!) and followed by tons of appologies for the rest of the evening.

I forgave but will never forget.

Would you like to share yours if any?

OP posts:
lilacclaire · 09/10/2009 14:43

Was wearing a very tight top I thought I looked great in, to be told that I looked absolutely ridiculous.
Probably not as bad as a lot of folks but it really stung.

Pinkjenny · 09/10/2009 14:55

This may bring the mood down a bit , but I had a termination in 2003. I remember dh whining on about money and my spending habits, and at one point alluded to the fact that he was paying for the clinic.

I forgave, but I will never, ever, ever forget. Never.

starbaby · 09/10/2009 15:37

'nothing you do ever turns me on'

as a response to me crying about our non existent sex life and me suggesting ways to improve his libido! the above comment from him has cut my efforts stone dead forever!

charis · 09/10/2009 15:41

Crikey - thats harsh pinkjenny.

I had just spent a fortune on an evening dress and was just ready to leave for a party when dh suggested that it was "a bit old ladyish". It went on ebay the next day.

JodieO · 09/10/2009 15:44

My exh said, after I'd had a miscarriage, that he didn't consider it to be a baby I had 5 in total.

MrsFawlty · 09/10/2009 15:50

When we first got together, DH said he was going to a party without me because his ex-girlfriend would be there and he didn't want to upset her.

Fairly mild compared to some of the above but it was very nearly a dealbreaker, I couldn't be bother with yet another f-wit who put their ex's feelings above mine.

ALl turned out alright in the end though, and it's the only thing I can think of so can't be doing too badly after 6 years.

Lemonylemon · 09/10/2009 15:51

Bit of background:

I had surgery for cervical pre-cancer when DS was not quite 2.

A couple of months after that, my exp and I were having a row and he said he thought he had cancer (when he was at the gym doing weights, he'd leak a bit of urine) - cue me turning round and saying that I'd support him and go with him to appointments blah, blah, blah.

Fast forward another 2 months and I asked what had happened with the doctors etc. EXP turned round and said that the problem had stopped and that it must have been something that he'd caught from me.

I have to say that I never forgave him for that one....

gonnabehappy · 09/10/2009 16:27

That he had sex with me because he felt sorry for me

DuelingFANGo · 09/10/2009 16:30

worst thing my now DH said was when he told me that he had wanted to split up with me very early on but felt like he couldn't because I cried

We are married now so obviously he made the right move sticking with it!

rosieposey · 09/10/2009 16:37

My Xdh once said in reply to me asking why he still had sex with me if he didn't fancy me anymore 'Well you don't look at the fireplace when you are poking the fire do you?'

Another little diamond was when he picked up my copy of Elle and said 'see her, she's a real woman' because he didn't like how overweight i was.

You can see why we are divorced now and 7 years on i am happily remarried to a non-arse and Xdh is still single ... I cant for the life of me think why .

PersonalClown · 09/10/2009 16:42

At the very beginning of our relationship, I found messages on Fb from DP to his ex saying that he didn't want to meet me/be with me/etc (we met on FB) and he wanted her back.

Took a few weeks of tears and arguing to finally accept that he was as terrfied of being hurt as I was and for a brief moment, he wanted to run back to the familiar even though he knew it would be bad.

It must have worked as he's now moved in with me and can't understand how he wanted to inflict torture on himself by even thinking of going back to her and her mind games.

veryconfusedandupset · 09/10/2009 16:47

Was not over the moon when DH told the DS 1 & 2 that the real reason I don't go riding anymore was that every time I fell off I wet my knickers.

MorrisZapp · 09/10/2009 16:49

at some of these.

My DP is kindness itself, but blurts things out sometimes without thinking.

A friend once gave me a pair of her old jeans from the Gap, and I said to DP 'Look, I've got these long and lean jeans'

and he said

'But you're short and dumpy!'

I have never let him forget. I still bring it up now, years later

fishflange · 09/10/2009 16:59

Before we were married
'The only reason I don't finish with you is because I like your parents too much'

andlipsticktoo · 09/10/2009 17:02

Dh and I were with a group of friends once and we were chatting about mystery shoppers. Dh turned to me and said, "you'd make a good mystery shopper because there's nothing memorable about you."

I remind him of that one regularly!

RubyLove1 · 09/10/2009 17:28

My ex-boyf said to me when I was talking about wanting kids:

"You dont deserve to have kids beacuse you're depressed and would be a bad mother"

I was a bit depressed at time but am not now but I never got over that and I am now petrified of every being depressed again, esp now I actually am pregnant(but not depressed)

Split with hime and told my fiance my ex said this and he was fuming, as he thinks I am going to be the f***g greatest mother this world has ever seen

brightwell · 09/10/2009 17:59

So many from my ex....."sex with you makes me feel dirty" (well it made me feel violated..but that's another story)
"Haven't you got a flat, plain face"
"I guess somebody might find you attractive" And loads more.....bless him!!!!!!!!!!

diddl · 09/10/2009 18:30

I´m wondering why all these guys aren´t exes!

hollysmum1 · 09/10/2009 18:33

I had to go to the hospital and give birth to DD2 by myself as he had an upset stomach and the birth of DD1 had made him feel ill.

He didnt tell me he wasn't coming untill I was contracting and I had to phone my MIL to get me to the hospital.

A part of me will hate him forever for that :0(

HeadFairy · 09/10/2009 18:38

I was having a go at dh after he'd been out for yet another night out that ended in the early hours with no contact from him, me worrying myself sick, him calling me at 3am lost and not able to get home, totally shitfaced etc and after he'd puked all over the bathroom. I was not happy and let him know it... he spat at me "I hope you have a shit night's sleep" with such venom, I've never forgotten it.

TheMitsubishiWarrioress · 09/10/2009 18:56

That I had to choose between him and giving our DS up for adoption, (infront of DS).

And later as we struggled to keep things together..'I am going to a solicitor and divorcing you because you are not right in the fucking head'

I was suffering, and am now recovering, from depression due to how bad things were in our lives.

allaboutme · 09/10/2009 18:58

My DH said only this morning 'no wonder ds needs speech therapy with you talking like that' (i've got a london accent!)

loupiots · 09/10/2009 19:15

He's not usually too bad, but he has come out with some corkers...

For example, when I was feeling a bit poorly, coming down with tonsilitis, and was looking askance at the washing up to be done, he said: "Off to bed, don't worry, it'll all still be there in the morning."

And, when DS was about a year old, he said to me, wistfully, and clearly without engaging his brain/mouth filter, "do you think you'll ever get slim again?" Fuckwit. Still haven't forgiven or forgotten that one.

Tortington · 09/10/2009 19:17

dh once said i had 80's hair.

years and years ago. i have never forgiven him

ArizonaBarker · 09/10/2009 19:19

Christ on a bike!

I thought this was going to be a funny, light-hearted thread.