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Original poster

Will never forget... the most hurtful/ insensitive/ ridiculous comments you heard from DP/DH

128 replies

TrippleBerryFairy · 09/10/2009 14:39

Thought to start this after yesterday I got treated with following:

'...your leaking boobs are not exactly helping with my libido!' - - said as a rude joke (they're ok in our relationship but this has gone waaaay to far!) and followed by tons of appologies for the rest of the evening.

I forgave but will never forget.

Would you like to share yours if any?

OP posts:
missperfecttoes · 10/10/2009 20:33

I got called a c@nt

Deeeja · 10/10/2009 22:30

I can honestly say that I have never said any nasty things to my dh, but he has said a few to me. I mostly try to move forward and ignore them, but I don't forget, and I feel upset and angry...

shongololo · 10/10/2009 23:22

when I fell unexpectedly pregnant with no 3, dh accused me of having an affair because he had been working away an "we hardly ever had sex" (yep...that would be because you were in Holland). Up until I was 22 weeks, he would openly say it wasnt his baby. And barely spoke with me.

At my 21 week scan, he finally "accepted" the pregnancy. When my son was born, the midwife held him up and laughingly said "Oh my goodness, there's no doubting who your daddy is!" - but DH would still say it was not his child. 4 weeks later, baby had one foot in the grave and was in PICU on a ventilator for a week - then, and only then did DH accept he had another son.

Years on, he now says "It was a joke" - we both know it wasn't.

Deeeja · 10/10/2009 23:36

I am really sorry to hear that, that must have been an awful difficult time for you.

jmacon · 11/10/2009 01:11

Heres one for ya ( and I have a few) In labour with dc 3, reached transition stage and the midwife went out to get another midwife for delivery dp leaned in to me and whispered in panicky tones 'Ive got an awful feeling something bad is going to happen..'.

BigusBumus · 11/10/2009 07:52

Oh Shongololo, thats terrible. How sad for you. I would find that hard to forget about. Well done you for sticking at it.

nighbynight · 11/10/2009 08:13

shongolo, I had the same from my ex about 2 of our children. Particularly the last one, as she was indeed conceived from one single night. ex h darkly suspected our neighbour! and he spent ages tracing a resemblance between another child and my course tutor at the time. Even now, he says from time to time that he will get all the chidlren genetically tested one day.

I cant even start on the awful things ex said to me. Our whole marriage was one long humiliation. One low point that stands out is when he told his friend that sleeping with me was like having sex with a cow. Friend told his wife, who told anotehr woman, who told me.
Just a couple of days ago, he sent me a text message saying "you are an animal, nn"

He is poisonous, and I just try to keep as far away from him as possible.

diddl · 11/10/2009 14:22

Just to redress the balance.

My husband has never sworn at me/called me a horrible namesaid anything nasty.

I did however once call hima self righteous bästard.

mayorquimby · 11/10/2009 17:43

some of these are awful.
but for the ones that involve people asking their OH's opinion (ratehr than them just vlunteering nasty insults) on something such as outfits or weight, what did you want if not their opinion?

skihorse · 11/10/2009 18:00

mayorquimby I was one of the people who volunteered a "body bash" quote. I hadn't actually asked for his opinion. His ex-wife was slim and so I'd always felt bad in comparison anyway. We were just sat in the garden one night and it came from nowhere. I remember feeling like I'd been kicked in the stomach and I cried and cried and cried. I contemplated leaving him because deep down I knew it was so wrong and no good could come of it. But my shockingly low self-esteem wouldn't allow me to do that and instead I told myself he was right - and that I was repulsive.

Well, if you're reading you Belgian prick - your penis was a funny purple colour and you had the saggiest balls I've ever encountered!

yada · 11/10/2009 18:09

telling me that i looked like toyah battersby from corrie when we first got together, this was in reply to a friend saying that he thought i looked like jo from s club 7 i dont look like either of them btw.

one that really stung was when we were on our way to our first scan with dd2 (i was soooo excited) and we were talking about a family situation that he was confused about and he spat "well one of you fuckers told me that" refering to me or my family who i am so close to and showing a total lack of respect for people who mean a lot to me. 6 years on thats still what i remember most about that day

mayorquimby · 11/10/2009 18:33

skihorse that's what i tried to differentiate from i.e. people who ask for an opinion (do i look good in this top/could i stand to lose some weight?) and then get pissed off aboput the reply even if it's deliveered with honesty but no malice, and people like yourself who are on the other hand just being insulted out of the blue by a prick. that is obviously appalling and i wasn't trying to justify those kind of comments/actions,so apologies if anyone read it as though i was.

mamalovesmojitos · 11/10/2009 18:59

skihorse i'm sorry your xp was such an arse but i did a bit at your last sentence. sounds like you had a lucky escape.

Martha1 · 11/10/2009 19:10

My ex once said to me, while I was crying because my nan had passed away, "can't you grieve in the daytime - I've got work in the morning and you're keeping me awake!" Never forgave him! Found out later his callous-ness was prob because he already had another girlfriend at the time!!!

JeminTheDungeon · 11/10/2009 19:13

'You really are a spiteful bitch'

Oh he has me to a tee . I was very hurt by that though....but it was said in anger...

tiredoftherain · 11/10/2009 19:37

"I think I love you but I'm not in love with you" followed seconds later by, "what's that phrase, oh yes, familiarity breeds contempt" Tosser.

Needless to say we are about to divorce..

Marioandluigi · 12/10/2009 13:09

I suffered a M/C in 2004 and was devestated. DH told me that 'it wasnt a baby, and I needed to pull myself together'. Then, on my EDD I was again very upset, and he told me that 'It had been 7 months and I needed to get over it'

In his defence, he comes from a very un-emotional family, but it still hurts me now when I think about it.

skihorse · 12/10/2009 14:42

mayorquimby Gosh - absolutely no offence taken. But because I have somewhat fragile self-esteem, the absolute LAST thing that I would do is stand in front of my partner and saying "does my bum look big in this?". I know my bum is big, I don't want my partner to lie and I don't want to hear what I interpret as criticism from him. I agree fully though... if you put yourself in that situation...

I too am very saddened at the number of mn'ers still with the men who said these things.

GetOrfMoiLand · 12/10/2009 15:00

"DD has inherited your Jimmy Hill chin".

Said in passing. Me and DD do not look like Jimmy Hill btw.

That's probably it, tbh, part from calling me a nag and a grumpy cow on occasions (but in his defence I have also called him a twat and an areshole at times as well). But very rarely.

I don't think we would last if he said mean things, I grew up in a household where I was called names, and it was incredibly hurtful and damaging. DP's ex was verbally abusive to him, called him stupid, useless, a waste of space, a pathetic see you next Tuesday, all sorts. So me and DP (unconciously) make an effort to be kind to each other because we know how miserable the alternative is.

It's not a perfect relationship by any means, but I don't think I could cope with insults flying round. Some of the comments on here are heartbreaking.

Harebelle · 12/10/2009 15:53

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Angifi · 13/10/2009 02:21

My DH is really lovely and I suppose this is the worst thing he's ever said.He since realises his mistake: After the three day labour and really awful birth of our first ds, he said "you must have a low pain threshhold". I really wanted to test his pain threshhold then, but thought better of it.We've since had 4 more babies and he knows not to repeat anything like that comment!

CyradisTheSeer · 13/10/2009 14:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

kittywise · 13/10/2009 14:17

Every year my mother comes on holiday with me and the 6 young dc's.

Dp is self employed and has sleep aponea and ME so says he finds it 'difficult' to sleep away from home. Soooooo mother comes with me.
It is of course extraordinarily hard work, not a holiday for the adults concerned. Dp has no comprehension of how demanding it is as he has never done it

A couple of years ago I was talking to dp on the phone whilst tidying up our cramped challett on a grotty holiday park on the IOW when Dp announces that he's not looking forward to us coming home as he's been able to get so much work done since we've been away and could do with another few days of R&R.
That was the beginning of the end for me. We're stuck together because of house issues, but I have never forgiven him for comments like that and there have been many of them

hurtandupset · 13/10/2009 14:23

want to stay married to you, and marry another.

CJCregg · 13/10/2009 14:27

X (thank God)DH at my father's funeral: 'Why aren't you paying me more attention?'

And constantly telling friends how traumatised he was by DS1's birth (emergency c-section) and how he had to leave the operating theatre to have a little cry ... I had uncontrollable shakes and was terrified!

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