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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Will never forget... the most hurtful/ insensitive/ ridiculous comments you heard from DP/DH

128 replies

TrippleBerryFairy · 09/10/2009 14:39

Thought to start this after yesterday I got treated with following:

'...your leaking boobs are not exactly helping with my libido!' - - said as a rude joke (they're ok in our relationship but this has gone waaaay to far!) and followed by tons of appologies for the rest of the evening.

I forgave but will never forget.

Would you like to share yours if any?

OP posts:
kittywise · 13/10/2009 14:43

I know some people find this thread depressing. I find it reassuring, in that I am not the only one suffering.
I wish none of us had to suffer at the hands of these men, and I know that I am not mad and in the wrong all the things he says I am. He is just another arse

ParisFrog · 13/10/2009 15:19

My exP:
"It's not fair - you're stopping me sleeping with other women"

I was but calmly pointed out that he could go and sleep with as many women as he wanted, I wasn't stopping him. But I would dump him if he did that.

violet101 · 14/10/2009 16:16

Another depressing one from me....

"I only married you because I thought you were rich" (I had a good job when I met him)

"You need to get over this for the sake of our kids" I had one son, was pregnant and my daughter had died 4 days earlier....

Witch
Evil
Mean
Selfish
I could go on ..........

Needless to say I'm divorcing him!!

itwascertainlyasurprise · 14/10/2009 16:40

This reply has been deleted

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Squitten · 14/10/2009 17:44

A few years ago when me and DH (DP at the time) were having terrible troubles, I had a big issue with one of his female friends. DH told me "She understands me better than you do."

I don't think I've ever gotten over hearing that and I was never able to be in the same room as that woman ever again...

MegBusset · 14/10/2009 17:58

Ex-p once called me "a bit pudgy", I never forgot (or forgave!).

pjmama · 14/10/2009 19:43

"I can't have sex with you any more because you're too fat and I don't fancy you. But I still love you."

I'm 5'8" and a size 12/14

Janos · 14/10/2009 21:35

From XP:-

When I was suicidal with PND :

"You don't have it. You just want to have it, so you can be like your mum"

He also said in front of the CPN and the health visitor that "she doesn't want to get better, because it's easier being ill"

Another time, I'd gone out shopping with a friend and bought a lovely shirt, figure flattering and a bit low cut at the front. I was thrilled to bits to fit into it as I had lost some weight. Anyway, I tried it on and showed him, expecting a compliment. He said, in ever such a mild tone, "That makes you look like a whore".

lulu41 · 14/10/2009 21:54

Cant believe some of the comments by partners/husbands on this thread I thought I was with the most insensitive shit in the world now turns out I am not alone !!! Hey girls out there ignore them they are stupid useless wan.ers!!!!

Are you sure you saw that ? Maybe you are a totally old fat useless woman who has lost her figure and mind !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Men eh couldnt eat a whole one !!!

We are not old or useless but we are great

xxxxxxx

violet101 · 15/10/2009 08:54

You've got me going now...

When I had shingles he came home one day and as I lay prostate on the sofa in agony he said...

"Spose theres no dinner then"!!!

Infact I'd slow cooked a casserole and made mash........he just had to serve it!!!

SheWillBeLoved · 15/10/2009 09:54

I was in hospital for the day in 2006 having medical management of a miscarriage after losing our first was bleeding like I have never bled before, in absolute agony and feeling heartbroken. He was lying on the bed with me, supposed to be giving me a cuddle. What does he do? Grabs my hand, pulls it to his crotch and says "Fancy a risky blowjob?". This was following on from him almost forcing me to have sex with him when we got home from our 12 week scan after finding out we had lost it.

Never forgave him for that. Went on to have our gorgeous now 11 week old DD, but we split when she was 2 weeks old. Well rid.

Eaglebird · 15/10/2009 23:06

SheWillBeLoved. You're right, you're well rid. What a knob. Hope you & your DD are ok.

raisedincare · 16/10/2009 09:32

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raisedincare · 16/10/2009 09:38

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HolyMaryMotherOfGod · 16/10/2009 13:35
  1. "Being overweight doesn't suit you".
  1. "Look at how skinny you were in that photo and look at you now."
  1. About our three DCs: "YOU wanted them."
  1. Any year now you'll reach [First Wife]'s record.

Oh, the list is endless.....

OrmIrian · 16/10/2009 13:40

Said one night when we were out for a meal )pre-kids):

"You know I can't imagine not being able to see your face everyday. It's so familiar to me. Not the most beautiful face in the world but I love it"

Not the most beautiful! Well you're no oil-painting baldy!

Stayingscarygirl · 16/10/2009 13:42

My dh once told me that my weight, specifically my big tummy, made it difficult for him to make love to me. The hurt from that has never gone away.

sunfleurs · 16/10/2009 14:26

That I wanted ds to have Autism because I wanted to get loads of attention for myself from people. Then when ds was diagnosed he told me it was my fault.

Spitting in my face with his mouth full of food because we were arguing about something.

Telling me he woul slit my throat if I ever shouted at his children again, I hadn't shouted, just been firm for once.

Telling I was a "lazy bitch" everytime I asked him to do something alone with the kids and give me some time to myself.

When B/F a newborn and looking after a toddler with ASD he moaned about dust on the skirting board in the hall, when I started ranting on about how tired and busy I was (he NEVER helped with the dc or housework he said "I grew up knowing busy and hardworking women Sunfleurs (his Mum and his Gran!) and YOU are not one of them".

Also treating my every ambition, thought and opinion and general existance as though utterly valueless, after 8 years you either begin to believe it or have a nervous breakdown, I took the breakdown option but not out of choice.

There were millions actually. But the Autism thing was the one that really stuck the knife in.

Superfrenchie, you may think that what he says is not bothering you but I just want to say that I felt like that for years but it all came collapsing in on me and I wish I had dealt with it so much sooner. Please don't stick around there for too long.

GetOrfMoiLand · 16/10/2009 14:32

Oh Sunfleurs how bloody awful. I hope you are happier now.

Some of these comments are truly awful.

EachPeachPearMum · 17/10/2009 23:57

kittywise are you okay? You don't seem to be on here much anymore, and you sound so sad

violet101 How could anyone say that at a time like that? I am very sorry for your loss.

skymoo · 19/10/2009 23:34

By custardo Fri 09-Oct-09 19:17:19

dh once said i had 80's hair years and years ago. i have never forgiven him

when you say this was "years and years ago', was it, errr, more than twenty years ago, like, during the 1980's ?

hobbgoblin · 19/10/2009 23:36

"yes"#

to the question: do i look like mutton dressed as lamb in this?

kittywise · 21/10/2009 09:29

eachpeachpearplum thank you for asking. I'm, ok, just very tired. I think years of mothering and having babies has finally caught up with me!!!!

I haven't been on here as much as I seem to miss all the juicy threads and can't find much I want to join in with!

ginnny · 21/10/2009 11:55

When I first met DP he told me about his ex wife:
"To start with I only went out with her because all my mates fancied her. She was a trophy wife. I've learnt my lesson now - I go for personality over looks every time"
thanks mate!

EachPeachPearMum · 21/10/2009 22:56

kittywise- if only I had time for juicy threads!