Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Will never forget... the most hurtful/ insensitive/ ridiculous comments you heard from DP/DH

128 replies

TrippleBerryFairy · 09/10/2009 14:39

Thought to start this after yesterday I got treated with following:

'...your leaking boobs are not exactly helping with my libido!' - - said as a rude joke (they're ok in our relationship but this has gone waaaay to far!) and followed by tons of appologies for the rest of the evening.

I forgave but will never forget.

Would you like to share yours if any?

OP posts:
supersalstrawberry · 09/10/2009 19:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tippytap · 09/10/2009 19:27

I'm sure if I took a few minutes, I'd think of a lot, but a couple of memorable ones from my (thankfully) ExP.

I come from an affectionate family and when he used to come home from work, I'd open the door, give him a kiss and a cuddle. He told me that he hated that, that I reminded him of a dog always following him around and not givin him any space.

When I refused to do somethings in bed that I really didn't want to do - You're boring. Sounds mild, but said with the right tone and a sneer and repeated very often, especially when used as an excuse for infidelity, is incredibly hurtful.

Oh another - If you loved me, you'd let me sleep with other women.

So happy being single now!

LegoLass · 09/10/2009 19:29

When I finally had enough and left him "well I never loved you anyway" after 20 years of putting up with his crap

clam · 09/10/2009 19:31

I bought a stretchy new top a few weeks ago. DH looked at it intently, frowned, and said "Are you sure that's going to be up to the job?"

petunia · 09/10/2009 20:00

I've never got on with DH's parents and they've treated me like I'm "devils's spawn" simply because I married their Son, so a lot of DH's most hurtful things have been said when he's been defending his parents. The very worst comment was after his mother said something tactless over the phone, a few days after a miscarriage 4 years ago. When I got upset about it, rather than admit or tell his mother that she'd been a bit tactless, he told me to "pull myself together".
And second worst was after 12 years of waiting for DH to defend me/us and putting up with his parents tantrums (including one at our house in front of 13 month old DD1, when his Dad stood at the bottom of our stairs and shouted abuse up at me), snide comments and being ignored in photos and when we visited them and they visited us, DH said during a row that, "husbands and wives aren't a team and don't stick up for each other if it's going to upset family".

I quit visiting his parents then and will never visit again. I only see them once a year now and I barely tolerate that.

Arsed · 09/10/2009 20:04

Both of our children were very premature, i have an incompetant cervix as a result of pre cancer treatment.

when our youngest was in nicu I remember bawling at df about how useless I was, how unbelievably shit my body was, how I couldnt get anything right..

He agreed with me

skihorse · 09/10/2009 20:06

An EX!

"I hate your body from here (just below boobs) to here (just below knees)."

Thank god I have a man now who loves all my wobbly bits and first saw me naked when I had 89 metal stitches across my abdomen from a tummy tuck I'd had to help my self-esteem - I get the feeling he wouldn't have given a damn about my tummy!

TheCrackFox · 09/10/2009 20:06

Arsed that is really sad. FWIW I hate the term "competent cervix" I really wish the medical profession could come up with something a little less insulting.

jasper · 09/10/2009 20:08

Just read Jacqueline Gold's autobiography.
She knew it was the end with her dp when , at a party, she whispered to him "I just want to take you home and make mad passionate love to you"
and he replied
"just back off, will you"

Meglet · 09/10/2009 20:09

About a month after ds was born from my now ex P;

"you're a mum, you don't matter anymore"

Narketta · 09/10/2009 20:14

Me and DH were chatting one night about how we don't go out since the DC came along (we both used to love clubbing). I said I want to remember what it feels like to go out and dance all night and then have to walk home barefoot because your feet hurt so much.

He said "well your no spring chicken do you reckon you could handle a night out clubbing?"

I'm 35 ffs.

Arsed · 09/10/2009 20:19

TheCrackFox, I dont really like it either

BiteOfFun · 09/10/2009 20:33

After saving the happy news of being pregnant with (planned) dd2, ex-p's reaction: "Is it mine?"

He was a real charmer.

onandonandon · 09/10/2009 20:38

have namechanged for this " i dont love you and i dont think i have ever loved you" i was 36 weeks pregnant and went on to have a child with sn

monkeysavingexpertdotcom · 09/10/2009 20:39

Some of these are really sad - and not all from exps, either.

The worst thing DH has ever said to me, a few months after we met, was;

"Arsenal have been with me man and boy, they were with me before I met you, and they'll still be there after you've gone. So no, it's not "just a game of football"".

That was thirteen years ago, and they haven't gone yet. Nor have I, though.

LissyGlitter · 09/10/2009 20:58

DPs ex wife is disabled and uses a wheelchair.

When I was feeling like shite at the beginning of my fist pregnancy "I don't know why you are moaning, at least you can walk"

After the emergency section, I was feeling very traumatised and vulnerable - "at least it wasn't spinal surgery, you didn't have a general, so it wasn't very scary for you" (obv the ex wife had spinal surgery under general)

I swear he is autistic, he honestly thinks saying things like that will help me...

mrshibbins · 09/10/2009 21:16

that i had to dye my hair because my small white 'cruella de ville' streak was freaking him out.

bluejeans · 09/10/2009 21:29

My ex said to me after a year together:

"I used to want a girlfriend like XXX (very pretty and bubbly girlfriend of mutual friend) but now I'm happy with you"

It wasn't intentionally mean but made me feel as if he'd settled for second best. I ended it not long after. Still makes me 18 years later

smackapacka · 09/10/2009 21:53

"well no you definitely wouldn't want to be any bigger" - no dickhead xp, you didn't...

"oh no you'll never be as attractive as Jo or Mandy" - different xp, trying to stop me from worrying about losing weight as I'd never be as attractive as them anyway...

"yes I would find you more attractive if you lost weight" - current DH, but I shouldn't have asked the question, as from the other exes I should have known the answer! Funny thing is, I have only been a size 16 at biggest, so not sumo material (and I'm 5'8").

Hmph.

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 09/10/2009 22:00

While I was in labour trying to wake him up he said 'hey don't shout or we'll just forget it'

I called him a fucking arsehole which he still brings up as a terribly hurtful thing that I said

In his defense (if there is one) he's an incredibly deep sleeper and he was definitely half asleep. Has been known to say many nonsensical and illogical things when being woken up but that was the worst!

sincitylover · 09/10/2009 22:02

Was on a 'romantic' break to Paris and exh said 'if it weren't for ds1 I don't think we would still be together'

Then a bit later in hotel room I put some music on to liven things up - dancing about a bit and he looked at me, sneered and said 'don't be so stupid sincitylover'

Crushed I were crushed at those two. We did go on to have ds2 believe it or not

catsmother · 09/10/2009 22:05

I was told, once, by a complete and utter arsewipe that it was "funny" (ha di bloody ha) he was going out with me, as usually he only went for "model types". In his dreams.

boolifooli · 09/10/2009 22:13

My Ex, after we'd been jogging 'women don't look good when they run' ????? He said a lot worse, he was a ars*

AndImStillWithHim · 09/10/2009 22:19

"If I'd wanted a baby with you I'd have asked you to marry me" (Yeah right, like I'd say yes...)

"See her? Now she's got nice hair"

"But why can't you be more blonde?"

Loads more.

Oh, and check out my temporary user name.

NorkyByNature · 09/10/2009 22:42

About an hour after delivery of dc2,dh said something and i laughed, he pointed at my stomach and laughed rather scornfully and said he hoped my stomach won't remain like that.

Well 3 weeks after, my stomach went back to it's pre-dc flatness if not even flatter; but i'm still not sure i want to be with him.

Swipe left for the next trending thread