Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I've fallen in love with someone else help and advice sorely needed

196 replies

houseontopofahill · 28/09/2009 12:31

I'm married, we've been together for ten years. Two kids. I've had a lot of regrets along the way, and have basically felt that I didn't choose the right person for me but have felt trapped because of the children. We've had a very hard time financially over the last few years which has brought further difficulties to our relationship. I feel very guilty because my husband adores me, I just don't feel the same way about him.

A couple of months ago I got chatting to a friend of a friend and we really clicked. I suggested that him and his wife come to ours sometime. We swapped email addresses, which led to facebook, which led to some light hearted banter, which led to some flirtation. We saw each other a couple of times socially and realised we had feelings for each other. To cut a long story short we're now well on the way to an affair, though as we both have young children this is all fairly impossible (to meet up), but we're speaking on the phone, texting and chatting online. We've had two clandestine meetings, both of which made me feel utterly awful and guilty, yet at the same time made me feel so happy (because of the blossoming new relationship).

Basically - if this is the right man for me, I'll leave my husband and go for it. But how on earth can I find out if he's the right man without entering into a horrible affair?

Having made a mistake already and spent 10 years with the wrong man, I'm not willing to leave without knowing a lot more about the new person. But how can I find out about the other person without doing something I'm not meant to be doing?

OP posts:
NearlySilver · 30/09/2009 14:46

Hello House
I have been lurking here for a while reading and learning but felt it was time to join in. I am another long married wife and mother of 3 teenagers with a dodgy marriage. I astonished myself by having an affair last year which was fun, happy and life enhancing but going nowhere. Luckily for me and MM we weren't found out and eventually sanity prevailed and we stopped meeting or talking. I have accepted that although I could love him I am not free to pursue it and nor is he. I do not want a relationship with someone who is a cheat and a liar, although that is someonwhat hypocritical of me given my behaviour! I have started counselling and looked at why I behaved in a way that I would condemn if any of my friends did it. I have unravelled a lot of stuff which is very helpful. I am still not sure whether we will reach 25 years together or not, but I owe it to DH and my DCs to try and sort myself out. Listen to the wise women - and act before lots of innocent people get very hurt.

Wonderous · 30/09/2009 18:05

House, I've been in your position and have come out the other side. I left in April for someone else and at times things have been very hard. Things with DP's ex and grown up children have been extremely hard and we caused a lot of pain to everyone. On my side, my DH and I are very amicable with no ill-feeling on his behalf (unbelievably)and we are sorting out our own divorce without solicitors. He has a new GF now and seems happy. My DD took things very well. If you need to talk, drop me a line.

Aussieng · 30/09/2009 18:43

Also echo what Morningpaper said - in all of her very sensible and insightful posts. Not surprised House does not seem to still be around though given some of the posts!

Hope you work out your confusion House in a way that does not cause too much hurt for any of you (including you because I don't think you realise how hurful this could be for you).

busybutterfly · 30/09/2009 23:34

Don't make any more contact with this other man. And be careful with your messages - you may find someone finds them and reads them and that'd force the issue anyway.
You've got kids ffs. Do the right thing by them.

TracksuitLover · 01/10/2009 09:42

I agree with Monkey that it can still be an affair without the physical side of things in the sense that your attentions are being diverted from your DH by the OM and his attentions are being diverted from his DW by you and so they are getting less of you - and they do notice this, even if it is only subconsciously, especially if they know you so well, and it hurts them.

I know this from having 'erred' myself.

I also recognise what monkey said about acting like you hate your spouse for no apparent reason to them, as I felt very negatively towards my DH when my heart was 'erring'. Because you are thinking you want the OM, you are resenting what you have got which is 'holding you back'.

So yes, I think people get hurt even before anything physical happens if you allow your feelings to get to a certain stage. It is a very hard thing to stop and I can't think of a good way except to go cold turkey. It's painful but it's the only way. It hurts so much that hopefully it will deter you from even starting anything with anyone else in even the smallest way! You don't want to hurt yourself and everybody else in the same way ever again.

I also think it is likely that if you got with the OM, in time the relationship wouldn't be much better than the one you have got already (unless you really were at the point of seriously leaving him before the OM came along). You really can get utterly 'blinded by passion' and then once the initial thrill wears off you can see that OM has faults just like everyone else and those faults might be just as hard to live with as your DH's.

Don't let your primitive urges and your genes' 'scheming ways to 'trick' you into procreating more and more by 'love-drugging' you', make you do something stupid that you are going to regret later! It probably isn't 'real', it is a trick of nature!

wannabe10 · 01/10/2009 10:09

I have done it. Met someone who filled a huge gap in my life. I was so in love with him.
He left twice and moved in with me. I am treated as a social pariah where i live and where my children go to school. The pain I have caused is unimaginable, to their family and mine. If I think about it to much it makes me feel physically ill.
My advice would be don't start anything or just stop now.
And he went back.
And yet I still talk to him.
Just don't..............

expatinscotland · 01/10/2009 13:03

'Why is it that so many people start new relationships while they're still in one with someone else?'

Because they're insecure, foolish and immature.

NearlySilver · 01/10/2009 13:16

Hi expat
I am foolish yes, but neither immature nor insecure.
I am confident assertive and capable but still made a very stupid decision. You can't generalise - not everybody is the same.

expatinscotland · 01/10/2009 13:21

I'm perfectly entitlted to generalise about people who cheat on their spouses. For example, you wound up in an affair by 'surprise'. If that's not immature I don't know what is.

I'm glad you got counselling and sorting things out before they got really messy.

But it's an immature way to handle a bad relationship. Insecure, too.

Aussieng · 01/10/2009 13:35

Well then perhaps some people on here should start to generalise about stupid self (or children) absorbed women who are too dumb to notice when their husbands get fed up of being treated like bread-winning eunichs while the wives sit at home on their arses reading mumsnet and complain the minute their husband gets home that they do not rush to bathe the DC or compliment them on their new nail polish before going to wash the rush-hour sweat off?

Generalising is NEVER the answer. Doesn't help anyone in this situation understand what went wrong.

Life is not that tidy. Things do not always happen in the right order, friendships do sometimes cross lines and turn in to something else and that can take you by surprise. Much easier to be judgemental than actually show some insight though?

expatinscotland · 01/10/2009 13:46

'Things do not always happen in the right order, friendships do sometimes cross lines and turn in to something else and that can take you by surprise. Much easier to be judgemental than actually show some insight though? '

I guess being judgemental is the term people use when they don't like bollocks called as it is.

We're adults.

Friendships only take a turn because the adults involved allowed it. Not 'by surprise'. Car accidents often happen by surprise.

Adults have full control over what they do and say; allowing a friendship to become something else is under their control.

It's just an inconvenient truth because a lot of people don't like taking responsibility for their own behaviour.

thetattooedmagpie · 01/10/2009 14:06

Car accidents don't happen by 'surprise' - they happen because someone wasn't paying attention, wasn't thinking straight or hadn't maintained their car properly.

Bit like affairs really.

countingto10 · 01/10/2009 14:06

Here, here Expat. The hardest thing by DH has had to do is recognise that he and OW were responsible for the affair. That his/her behaviour was appalling, despicable, selfish, self centred and any other adjective you like to describe what they did to each other's DC and me. The fallout has been terrible (even extended family was affected by it all - MIL looks much more favourably on me now )

My DH still hasn't fully dealt with his anger/feelings about the affair as he feels he wouldn't come out of the bedroom for a week at least because he feels he would completely breakdown with the remorse, guilt, anger, letting himself and the family down etc knowing he caused it all (and yes she is equally as responsible as him as she knew he was married with 4DC - she gave him the stick to beat me and the DC with)

OP do not go outside the marriage to sort out problems within the marriage.

morningpaper · 01/10/2009 14:10

I don't get the rage at all - I think that it's quite normal to go from relationship to relationship.

And frankly, I'd rather be left for an attractive young secretary than for a single life in a grotty bedsit because a life with me is so boring!

expatinscotland · 01/10/2009 14:18

How is it rage to think it's pitiful and sad to cheat on your partner or spouse?

Wotevas.

morningpaper · 01/10/2009 14:20

Well it's sad, but the end of any relationship is very sad, and lots of hurt all round.

Ongoing lying for months on end is just cowardly - but lots of people are cowardly.

Pitiful I don't really get - just fairly normal IMO.

abedelia · 01/10/2009 14:41

Hmmm. But by the same argument, some people think it is okay to beat their husbands or wives - it 'just happens' because their emotions got out of control because they'd had a few too many or it had been brewing for weeks, etc etc.

Doesn't mean we should stand by and say 'well, life's just a bit messy, isn't it?'. People choose to do things, and part of being a grown up is to have the brains to consider the implications of this before you act - especially if it has an impact on people such as children who DON'T have a choice about who their parent is and whether they want to spend the rest of their childhood shuttling between two addresses.

roxi09 · 01/10/2009 14:47

I think what the OP needs to do is re-evaluate her marriage for a while without the other person on the scene. It's what I'm trying to do but having feelings for someone else just clouds the issue. It sounds like things aren't rosy and maybe she would be happier to end it and be on her own anyway. If the OM has true feelings for her he will wait, then she'll know if he is right for her.
No contact is really hard (I'm rubbish at it), but you need a clear head to decide whether you still want to be married or not.
Now I'm just off to try and take my own advice lol!

Aussieng · 01/10/2009 14:51

"A lot of people don't like taking responsibility for their own behaviour"

Including the cuckolded one (sorry stupid word but I didn't know what else to say)? Or are they always absolutely innocent? Sometimes they are. Some people are just serial shaggers and cheats - absolutely.

But some just make mistakes/bad choices/ leave it too late to save the existing realtionship as exDH and I did. DH and I had not had any intimate communication (including sex) for over 18 months when his friendship with OW crossed the line. I would have preferred the relationship to end differently (indeed I had tried in my own crappy way) but it didn't and it was hard but I was absolutely partially responsible and he was very unhappy and dealt with things in his own equally crap way of getting too close to OW. And DH did not deserve all of the shit that he got from some of our friends who seemed determined to treat me like a victim.

The car crash analogy was(inadvertantly clearly) a very good one. As Magpie pointed out.

Adults don't have full control over what they say and do and we certainly do not spend all of our time analysing EVERYTHING and assessing the risks - they make mistakes. We see that all the time on MN, But some people only seem to be unable to forgive this in the case of having an affair.

Aussieng · 01/10/2009 14:56

Abdelia - sorry did not see your post before I posted.

You made a very good point. Like some people are just serial cheaters some are just wife beaters. All nasty people and to be avoided.

But what about the guy who drinks too much and then gets argumentative and unpleasant with his wife? Maybe even pushes her. But realises this is unacceptable so makes sure that he never has more than 2 drinks any more or gets anger counselling? It is a bit harder in the case of a friendship crossing a line into an "emotional affair" (hate that terms) to realise that something is causing you to cross that line, especially if you are already unhappy and confused. Wife beating is a bit more spontaneous and the line when you cross it somewhat more distinct and evident.

WhenwillIfeelnormal · 01/10/2009 16:08

Aussieng. I haven't wanted to add to this thread again, because of the reactions of the OP. However, I think your posts are thought-provoking and wise. I also think you've been refreshingly honest about your own previous marriage. I think you're absolutely right - and it could be that the OP's husband in this case is the architect of his own misfortune, who knows?

What ever his shortcomings though, it just seems to me that the most decent way of behaving is for the OP to explain to her DH what's really going on. Remember, this is the OP who admits that she might not leave DH unless the OM turns out to be a realistic alternative. That just seems to me to be a shoddy and dishonest way of behaving. Like you, this man may be only too aware of his faults, but since he "adores" the OP, there is no sense of him realising how bad things have got if his wife is looking elsewhere. That's because she's not telling him. And she's not telling him because she doesn't want to leave the marriage unless she's got someone else to go to. That seems unfair to me.

The other complicating factor in this is that in doing all this, the OP is knowingly causing another marriage distress. I suspect a lot of people on here would have had far greater sympathy if the OP had come on here asking whether she should leave an unhappy marriage, but as I understand it, what she was basically saying was she might not leave if the OM wasn't an alternative - and in deciding if he was, this was going to mean intruding on OM's marriage. The sympathy was then further eroded by the OP's passive aggressive sarcasm to a great swathe of people who had taken time out to post.

Yes, posters' language was inflammatory at times and posts like this are always going to hit a nerve, but it would be wrong to say that the angriest of posters was speaking from personal experience. A lot of people who have been unaffected by infidelity had an equally strong reaction to this thread. I prefer to think that it is because they could see the injustice and unfairness in the poster's proposed actions and for them, it's just a "right and wrong issue".

I think it's so healthy that you are able to see how you also contributed to your previous marriage's downfall and I read a post of yours the other day when you said that you took those lessons very firmly into your new, happier marriage. I'd be really interested in whether with hindsight, you'd have preferred that your husband had been honest about what he was considering doing, rather than having an affair?

When you're trying to forgive an affair(and contrary to what you said, there are an awful lot of affair forgivers on here!)I do think it is essential that you analyse your own behaviour on the run-up to the affair and acknowledge that there were faults. In my case, it was a bit like you - I stopped noticing my husband as an attractive man. There were all sorts of reasons for that, but like you, I don't see myself as a victim at all. The difference in our case was that the affair wasn't the death knell for a bad marriage - I prefer to think of it as a wake-up call for a good one.

I think you're right that people sometimes cross the line without even knowing they've done it - or they delude themselves that they are not doing anything wrong. So when a poster comes on here and puts it to the vote and asks for views, they should surely welcome people who will tell it like it is.

In that sense, I applaud the OP for sounding people out before acting - but the moment she said that people's strong views and words were more likely to make her continue on this collision course was the moment I wanted to depart from advising the OP. It's the adult version of the child sticking their tongue out and saying "Because you've been so nasty to me, I'm going to be nasty, so there!!"

So, this post is for you Aussieng. I respond to the way you write.

houseontopofahill · 01/10/2009 16:24

Just popped in to say thank you to those who posted helpful insightful comments, experiences, and suggestions. Morningpaper's post was particularly helpful.

I don't want to discuss my situation any further on here so won't be checking back now.

OP posts:
macdoodle · 01/10/2009 19:39

Aussie havent read your threads?? Am curious have you taken back a cheating H ?? Sounds like it, accepted all the blame and made it your fault and you that needed to change??

I was the first to admit that i had made mistakes in my marriage, didnt give my XH a reason to lie, and shag, and cheat, and shag some more!

Give me a break, what cheaters just "accidentally fall in to each others dicks" ...many times.....on many occasions oh FFS!

The OP didnt jsut fall into this, she is cold bloodedly (is that a word??) planning on lying deceiving and cheating on her H...no accident!

purplepeony · 02/10/2009 09:29

well, I'm sticking up for the OP.
Life is not black an white. In a perfect world, we would all walk away from a relationship before starting on another one- but come on- how many of you know people who didn't?

I am always sickend by the lack of understanding on these types of threads- and it is usually from wives who have been left- unsurprisingly.

Rather than being judgemental and giving Daily Mail responses, try to be more caring.

OP_ I don't know the asnwer for you. You CAN test drive another relationship to a degree, but at some point something will give- either your conscience, his, or you will be discovered, or you will both decide you don't want each other anyway, or you will- and you will both sort out your marriages in order to be together.

abedelia · 02/10/2009 12:42

Purplepeony - as 'one of those wives' I do have to say that people are being caring - in the aftermath of something like this it isn't just the betrayed person who gets hurt.

In the majority of cases (I suspect) the person who did it suddenly has their head cleared of hormones and thinks 'why the f**k did I do that? He / she is an arse!'. You only have to look round the board to see the depression, guilt etc it causes - and that's something people have to live with for the rest of their lives. repairing damage is bloody hard work.

So as people have been saying, the OP really needs to step back and sort out her emotions before even thinking of dragging another person into the mix. Yes, her conscience may give out in the end if she gives it a try but it may be too late at that point and she could be be left with nothing - husband who hates her and an OM who pegs it back to the wife. Currently she has options if she's smart - let's keep it that way.