God, sorry I'm only just back online at work, and I had no idea I'd have so much response to this - have been reading through. I am genuinely stunned by the huge amount of response to my question. Plus am relieved that people seem to think this trip is madness.
Plus some very sobering points have been made about accidents and such-like. Apparently the closet you get to Afghanistan is 50km on the route he plans to take.
My DP had managed to convince me through his incredulity that I was being unreasonable to think it was a bad idea. Majority of family are against it, but realise what he's like, so know he'll be going whatever. My sister is totally for it - she's a life coach and says my issues with it, are just that, my issues, I need to see them as that and then accept it, anything about it that annoys me are aspects of myself coming back at me.
He had travelled the world before for 18 months when he was 30-ish (on a shoestring, no frills), and India was his favourite place he visited. He does ride a motorbike, but he's no mechanic. However he has managed to track down a guy on t'internet who has done the same trip (in reverse), and he has sent him his book and bike manual to help him. He has also possibly got my sister's ex to go with him, tho this is a worry more than a reassurance as said bloke doesn't ride, so has to learn to ride a motorbike between now and June (I can ride and I wouldn't feel confident riding some of the terrain they'll encounter!).
I am believe it or not I'm known as an opinionated and stroppy mare, defo not a Stepford wife! ha ha, so I am not as meek as I seem, but I feel if this trip doesn't go ahead we'll probably not make it anyway due to massive resentment on his part. I kind of realise this is a huge thing for him, that he feels is essential for him to 'grow up' and settle with his family - or maybe I'm putting words in his mouth, or maybe as someone said on here it'll make things worse, I pretty torn by it all.
I feel a bit dammed if I do dammed if I don't. But what I am sure of if I do put my foot down and say 'No', the relationship will go down faster than the Titanic. We are happy, don't get me wrong, but he does have major responsibility issues, and he is a rolling stone (sorry to drag that term up again!). Plus he hates his job and this end of project deadline is what's keeping him afloat. He's a civil engineering project manager, always has been, but before me and DD he was a contractor (free to come and go as he wanted), now he's a staffer, so tied to the daily grind and his blackberry which is the bain of his life. I work 3 days a week and go to college one day to re-train so he can get out of engineering into photophraphy (he's pretty talented).
I just want him to understand that my agreeing to this trip is a fucking big deal and to not belittle this achievement on my part. I do think that he should be genuinely over the moon that I am so magnanimous and not act like I'm making a fuss over nothing, and it's his divine right to feck off for 6 weeks.
He'll be able to get some work when he gets back, he has masses of contractor jobs that he could take at any time.
The tip about the £4K loan being in his name alone is great, I'd never even thought of that. I will insist on it.
You have all made me think I need to sit down with him and really talk about what's going on with him, and why he needs to do this trip, and get some honest answers from him.
Thanks again for making me wake up and see that I am not being a party pooper. That my concerns are genuine, and real.