FAB & GLAM 10 - Gosh, Do We Really Talk That Much???

[Dumbledior]

Hi, new thread

Lovely to see all the old posters again. Don't go now you are back.

Annie/UC/MHIS - lovely to see you and thanks MHIS for the FB chat.

not such a good mothers day. DD is very sick. Its been nearly 48hrs now too. Although she is just starting to look a bit brighter - but still in bed.
DH did make lunch for me though which was lovely of him
And i am now waiting for my cup of tea .

Annie how weird of your h to insist you continue feeding - mine couldnt wait for me/him to get my body back. And they all seemed to want to give up around 8 months, even though with DC4 i wanted to continue.

Baffy hope you are ok - and your boys are all looking after you.

Hi Everyone

Crap Mother's Day here too. Spent all day sat alone waiting for a phone call from he who shall be now be named 'the shit' to tell me I can go collect DD. I specifically asked him if he could call me early as it is Mother's Day. "Of course" he replied. No phone call at 2.30pm so I gave in and text him asking what time I would be able to come up. "I will call you" came the reply!! Argghh!! Mr Control freak strikes again!! I have never been so pleased in my life to be living in a refuge!!! I love my refuge!!!

Finally the call came. At 4.24pm! He is in a right mood!! And this is supposedly a man who wants me back, who has changed, who loves me, who will do ANYTHING to get me back!!! I am ecstatically happy that he is failing!!

HW I hope DD is feeling better.

Annie How dare you not agree with me! Actually, I can understand what you are saying. I do think it's my own exhaustion and wanting to move on from all the crap of my relationship that is making me want that for Baffy too. Letting Go is great!!

Lot's of love to everyone else! xxx

oh dear TFM - but glad you seem happy.
No DD still not well. Although she does seem a little better now - but is fast asleep.
I dont think i will send her to school tomorrow as she has not really eaten properly today.

Wow I've missed a lot - I've only left it a few days and its taken me half an hour to catch up.
Hope you are OK Baffy - ever heard the expression "its good to look at the past, but you don't have to stare!" I agree with the others that you (and he) needs to understand why he did what he did to you or it will play on your mind, and that isn't healthy. He is being completely unfair on you, whether intentionally or not and I do think you have to lay your cards on the table now and tell him exactly how you feel. Even if you live apart for a while, it doesn't have to be the end of the marriage, just space for you both to think things over and decide what you want.
Tannee - good for you spending Mothers Day with dd and leaving DP to his own devices. I've done the same today. Its DP's first Mothers Day without his Mum and the first for my Mum since my Nan died, so a sad day all round. He took himself off to the pub to drown his sorrows this morning and I spent the day with my Mum and the dc, although it was a bit sad for her at times, we had a lovely day.
I suppose everybody deals with these things in their own way but I just wish his way wasn't with alcohol. He's been so good lately, it really narks me when he drinks now as it seems so pointless when he can go so long without it. Still - I'm enjoying the peace and quiet (and full control of the remote )!!!
TFM - what an arse keeping dd all day like that. Let him have his bit of control today - you are free of it all now and he can't hurt you anymore.
Bloody men - all idiots (except my little ones of course, they are fab!!!)

Hi everyone, Ginnny, hope DP survived. It must have been a hard day for him.

DP was much better yesterday afternoon, when I got back from my mum's. Helped me tidy the garden and cooked dinner 'Because you're a mother'. He finally opened up when I sat down with him and asked him to tell me all his troubles. His mini-depression was sparked on Friday by finding out he didn't get the library job. He knew he wouldn't as he did such a crap interview, and he's angry with himself. I just wish he hadn't projected it onto poor DD. I haven't tackled him about that yet, but I will. It's not fair on her.

Annie, lol at your weaning tale. But I can beat you on that. DD was still up for a bedtime feed until she was 5!!! I only stopped because I was starting chemo. ExH was quite happy, but then, he hadn't touched me since I got pregnant, so DD wasn't taking anything he wanted lol! (ok TMI, I'll shut up and get back to work now )

Wow record number of posts in past couple of days
Tanee forgive my manners - meant to say congrats to your dd. Camberwell college of Arts has a great reputation I used to live very close to it. Sorry dp was projecting onto dd again but glad he told you why he was in a foul mood. Hope he gets work soon (for all your sakes!).

Annie at weaning at 3 (and Tanee - still bf when dd 5!!!).

TFM glad you are still finding refuge at the Refuge I had no idea your p was so controlling Sorry to hear he made Mothers Day difficult for you.

HW lucky you having fatties That's what all mothers want - fat babies. Actually I know Tanee is right and I should be guided by how dd is - not how she measures up on a centile chart. I was told that those centile charts are based on a study of 100 children

Forgot to mention that I had a lovely mothers day. Both dc were good, dh cooked a lovely lunch and I got some lovely flowers

Right - stop bloody TALKING you lot. I haven't got time to catch up now, but I'll be back .

Hello all for the meantime!

Dior, Hi! Now the weather's warming up, we should have that lunch (and HW)

Lush, I know, weaning at 5yrs - makes me sound like a weirdie earth mother type! She just liked it to get her off to sleep and it was a nice bonding bedtime thing. She stopped quite easily when I told her Mummy had to take some strong medecine that would make her feel sick. Funnily enough, my oncologist's secretary was also still feeding her DD at 5 years. I felt a bit less like a freak after meeting her!

Tanee - I know lots of people who carried on until about 4-5 school seemed to be the cut-off.

Actually with DD4 i would have really liked to continue for a bit longer - as i knew it was the last time but like the others about 8 months she just didnt want it anymore.

Love a lunch meet up

How are you Baffy??

Both of mine gave up at about 8 months too.
I'd still be doing it now if they hadn't

My other three gave up at 8-9 months too. It's probably finished giving them any nutritional value about that time. DS3 in particular grew to prefer bottles as they gave out milk quicker!

XH was peculiar, as I think I've mentioned once or twice before...! I am fairly convinced he wanted DS4 to keep feeding because he didn't want me to feel as if my body was my own, in case I decided to, I don't know, sell it on the open market or something. Long after each DS gave up the feeding he would refuse to touch me boobs because "they belong to [name of latest DS]". I said no they bloody don't, they belong to me, and they like to be treated nicely sometimes! Then he'd just laugh and say "don't be silly". Or "all right then", but not do anything. Except on very rare occasions when I assume he'd forgotten I wanted him to, so I know he didn't have some anti-boob hang-up, he just had a pleasing-the-wife hang-up. It wasn't the only example, but that's enough embarrassing detail to be going on with.

Annie, !! Yet another good reason for making him your ex! Mine went off everything whilst I was pregnant - mind you, he wasn't that keen before!

Ha ha Annie What a weirdo your xh is

Seriously, I could write a book. No-one would believe half of it though.

Maybe you should

Hi everyone

Just popping in to say hello and let you all know all is still well. I'm over the devastating disappointment of Mother's Day, which got worse but I won't bore you with the details. I've had an apology from P for all the nonsense which is good and a very new experience for me! And to be honest, I just want to enjoy being happy so I'm just moving forward regardless!!

Baffy is fine by the way, we have been in touch via text and all is well

Hope everyone else is ok? xxx

Fine thank you, honeybun. Excelsior!

Glad to hear it TFM - moving forward should be your mantra I reckon

glad to hear that TFM.
Do tell Baffy to update if she is up to it. And give her all our love.

At home with sickies today. So far it has missed me - but just thinking about it is worse. As I have work this weekend.

Where is everybody??? Its all gone quiet.
Hope you all have a Happy Easter Break.
Good to see you on Facebook lately TFM - loving all your positive status updates

Thank you Ginny. I'm feeling really positive, I'm feeling great! As my counsellor says, I'm flying!

Hi I'm still here. Glad things still going well TFM. We'll be able to have that next get together and include you too soon, I hope. Remember, my spare room is at your disposal .

All quiet here. DP's sis and BIL have been staying with us, which was lovely. I'm feeling a bit ambivalent about DP again, as his sis tried talking to him about DD, and he's very resistant. Reminds me horribly about another thread I've seen on MN, similar man having a problem with his stepkids - only they are much younger. Sadly, I'm coming to the conclusion that I have to give DP an ultimatum - get help (which he says he won't do) or go. In other respects he's being nice, and if he leaves, I shall miss that part of him, but this aspect about DD is eating at me slowly, and I have already told him once that if he doesn't get help, we will not last. Don't know what I can do except keep repeating it.

Hi Tanee

You say you don't know what you can do apart from keep repeating yourself. I think that may be part of the problem I'm afraid. DP has heard it all before but nothing has ever come of it, he is still in situ whilst DD isn't.

So, rather than repeat yourself you will have to show him you mean business and carry out your threat and ask him to leave. Only then will he realise that you meant what you said.

sorry to say tannee that TFM is right - no good saying unless you mean it.

I know my h is far more 'scared' now - if i say something he knows i mean it. I am no longer scared to be alone - rather that than not be true to yourself.

State it - give him the choice to get help or not - but if he chooses not to then you know your answer.

Good luck and keep posting .