44 messages to one number in one day - I feel sick

[LadyOfWaffle]

Dh has a contract phone, I get the bill (I got it for him). Just opened it and there is a number cropping up all over the place. Some days is a steady stream. One day is 44 messages. DH claims it must be our childminder (who only picks DS up from here, drops him at school, picks him up and drops him home again). DH hasn't text me the childminders no. yet to 'confirm'. I just don't know what to do. I called the no. and it sounds like her... but then if it is, why does he text her so much? SHe wouldn't look at him twice, and is getting back with her husband. DH has been very nasty the last 2 days from nowhere. He hasn't been like this for years. I don't know what to do

If everything was sorted for you - would you choose to be free or trapped with this man who isn't treating you as he should be?

£25 - taxi would be more than double. I'll be driving soon...

My mind changes. I often think if I had a place to go, I'd go. I can't think straight right now, so dunno... stay if it was all sorted.

are you really going to let the CM keep looking after your child?

LoW.. no advice to add but just wanted to remind you that if you wanted to visit us on the Aug08 thread, you're more than welcome. Sorry to hear things aren't going well
hope to 'see' you soon

what if it was just a normal conversation than ran into all those messasges? She'd lose a job, I'd lose a CM who DS adores and I like... I can't see why I'd get rid of her?

I'll order that book now I have my card when I get some money... thankyou

I'll definatly visit the post natal thread - I always forget

O, my birthday was last month, MN must not update... am 23

No one really in RL, I told one friend yesterday who said I should just not mention it anymore to avoid arguement/walk outs. Another I don't know too well...

LOW, If you are 100% certain that there is nothing other than normal conversation going on then I do agree about your CM.

But your DH treats you awfully. We're the same age. I was 23 in April, you have the rest of your life ahead of you! Do you really want to spend the rest of your life living like this.

I can't and no one else can make the decision for you. If you want to give it another go then you do that but please make it the last chance you give him.

Hope your driving goes well. I am quite pleased I'm not the only 23yo I know that can't drive. Most people I know younger than me can drive too

Last time was the last chance... but then he didn't actually leave...

Ok, I can see that you don't want to take drastic steps. How about a couple of simple ones that empower you:

Intense short course driving lessons (take from the joint account if need be, rather than waiting for CB). Book test = ditch CM.

Teaching access course - get details for. Volunteer to help at ds' school.

you should not have to not mention it again to keep him sweet. he is the one in the wrong

i agree taking some baby steps would be a good start

LOW
go out in the sun with your kids.

Going any min now , builders needed minding but all is ok for them to carry on now

Baby steps - yep. Really baby steps - first was to get a new prov. licence which I got, now is to book theory. Then after that I'll take it lesson by lesson, I don't think we can afford an intensive course, well by the time we save I could have been doing lessons.

Not alot I can do on the teaching access course front - cannot (afford) and will not put DS2 in childcare until 2.6, but the OU do some good little courses like the "Understanding Psychology" ones that I can do in the meantime. I'd love to volunteer at DSs (fingers crossed soon to be) school but have DS2. I may be able to sort something out for a few hours a week though when I am abit mentally stronger to commit.

You dont drive?
Jesus lady learn

Shhhh - I used to be one of those people that tutted at non drivers Right, am off out with my pastie white legs.

Whilst we are talking baby steps - ring your local women's aid and ask if they are running the freedom programme or any other courses soon.

We run a creche during all our courses and so your children can be looked after whilst you do some confidence building for you.

The freedom programme is especially good and it only runs for 12 weeks so not too long to commit yourself too.

Mrspnut, what's the freedom course???

[genuine interest emoticon]

It's a course designed to empower women by educating them in the ways of the abuser "The dominator". There's loads more about it on this website www.freedomprogramme.co.uk/freedomprogramme/index.cfm

It's a really good course and you can still be living with your partner when you go on it.

44 messages, the title of your thread.

have you forgotten this. god woman, they are both taking the piss and you're letting them.

i agree with ididntraiseathief.

i have never texted someone 44 times in one day in my entire life.

you also mention her number crops up regularly... yet they've only met a couple of times???

this stinks.

i'll bugger off now as i'm just pestering you with the same message now and you're obviously not wanting to dwell on that side of the issue.

it reeeeaaallly IS dodgy though

Message withdrawn

Message withdrawn

Oh LoW, only just seen this. I'm so sorry

I agree with lulu - this does seem to be a pattern. Even if you have a good couple of years between the crap, you can't live a life like that. Can you? There is a history of violence, aggression, emotional abuse and leaving you with no money for milk or nappies.

You have to decide what to do. What's best for you & the DSs. No-one can do that for you - whatever you decide, people will support you.

I'm on FB & MSN a lot if you want to chat some time.

Thinking of you x