So there I was idly browsing the internet for the first time in a while...

[ShinyPinkShoes]

....chatting to a friend and joking that after all these years of being single there must be someone out there for me???

Conversation then moved to larking about...and the fatal question "Is there such a thing as mail order husbands?"

Yes me dears there is indeed:
Take a look but mind your eyes, now!

Mail Order Husbands

OH OH OH OH OH MY GOD

it is not real.
they are all in prison?

I am going to try the compatability test

I don't know about prison....but serial killers for sure.

Have you read the 'success stories'

pmsl

Just take a look at those eligible bachelors

Aha- the test
Pay particular attention to QUESTION 9

'I am looking for someone who can hold my attention, keep up with me, and who knows how to dress a wound.'

other than that one, most of them want a woman with money. and the 17 yo adds:

'I like women between 18-45, but would consider older if we do not have to touch a lot.'

'I got booted off Match.com for cyber stalking but I'm better now.'

the german one is fab

That can't be real surely?

real catch:

'Ladies, I have a lot of love to give. I will be starting a new life shortly and want you to be part of it. I am very romantic and in very good condition,.. but I won't be available for about 18 months, but I'm happy to write letters. I'm up for parole next month, so I'm hoping to be available sooner.'

compatability test:

1. Which of these characteristics do you identify with

A: I enjoy being friendly and helping others
B: I have been known to torture small animals

Yup that's the one Warthog!

Some of them are HALF PRICE

this is my ideal match:

Hans of Hannover Germany

"German sailor seeks mermaid".. During my long hours out at sea I often wonder if my soulmate is near or far. I have been successful at werk but not in love. Yes, I've had too much schnitzel but I have a sexy attitude and I'm not shy about my body.

Sorry but

well, this has made my day! thank you very much shiny!

Oh.

My.

God.

at "I got bought by some lady in London, but she didn't like me, so I'm back."

No shit.

I'm glad I could bring you such joy Warthog.
Can I come to your wedding?

"I can chop lots of wood and can even climb a greased pole. I keep in shape by chasing chickens around my back yard. I keep my self clean and take baths weekly."

The things you can find in Virginia![shoxk]

OMG! That has to be a joke.

I don't know if it is or not to be honest

After all they do take VISA!
Hey I just had a thought-my credit card covers me for lost or damaged goods purchased with it...

lol at the half price ones

Reality I don't think it's a spoof. I think it's real

You could snap up a bargain if you're quick!

I can now honestly say I am happy to be single