Does my exdp have the right to take my ds's out of the country if i say no???

[fifisboys]

Just to keep this brief..split up with dp recently and he is on about taking the ds's away for 2 weeks with his new girlfriend.

My ds's are only 3 and 16 month and i would not be comfortable with him taking them away from me for that long..he used to struggle to have them for the day when i was at work and has never had them on there own overnight even when we were together.

Am i within my rights to say no to this?

Thanks

[blondissimo]

I think if he had them every second weekend for at least 6 months, and was coping well and confident then I would maybe sway towards letting him have them for a week say? But if he is not prepared to have them for the weekend then he cannot expect that you will let him take them away for 2 weeks abroad. I am guessing that this has all been a bit of a rash statement from him, and that he knows fine well that he could not cope for two weeks! I expect he did it just to be awkward. I hope things work out and you can all be civil towards each other. I have seen first hand through my parents divorce and my dp's, that animosity only makes a horrible situation even worse.

[jellybeans]

at 'How did it respond ?'

[fifisboys]

at how it 'it' respond as well...just noticed that..

I do hope we can be civil..tbh we have been apart from this issue.
I have spoke to him just before to sort out when he is coming to see them this week and i have asked him if he wants to come and get the kids on friday when he gets in from work and maybe bring them back sunday morning..which he said he would so we will see if it happens or not.
I think that if he can have them weekends or whenever and shows that he can manage then i will consire letting him take them away for a few days, possibly a week at the most, but it wont be this summer, and it wont be for 2 weeks i think this needs to be done gradually.

[Surfermum]

[Blu]

Rather than arguing about who is unreasonable, and who has what rights, perhaps it would help to approach a little more 'catchee monkey'.

It does sound as if he hasn't had much experience, or confidence, and I wonder whether the gf REALLY wants to go on hol with two small children.

tell him you think it will be really nice this sumer if he has lots of fun times and weekends with the children, but are you sure he wouldn't rather you have them (sigh...what amartyr you are ) three weekends in a row, so hat he can go on his first hol with new gf without the kids...after all, if they take the kids, they won't be able to go out in the evenings, won't be able to get drunk, won't be able to go to sleep sunbathing by the pool as they will have to watch the children - every minute.

It's genuinely very hard work having a toddler by a pool. With a little thought, I bet his gf will object!

Then, spend some time geting him to be more confident and practiced at looking after his children so that he can be more involved, give you some time for socialising...and so that they are not in the centre of this kind of dilemma again.

[2rebecca]

I agree with Mrs jammi's sentiments generally but am not impressed by him letting the kids down at the last minute re having them overnight. I think if he was serious about wanting the kids for a summer holiday then he'd be jumping at the chance to have them overnight. It sounds as though he needs to gradually build up to having them for 2 weeks if he's being wimpy about overnight stays.
After my ex and I split I put no restrictions on how long he could have the kids for and school holidays are split 50:50, but then whilst we were married I'd sometimes gone away for the weekend and he'd had the kids and he was very much a hands on dad.