A frank word about norks. If there were a sex/body image topic I would post there.

[wickerman]

So I am in my late 30s with two kids. I am separated and in some need of a good seeing to.
My issue is this. Norks.
I breastfed for two years each, as well as a stay in hospital using a massive, farm stylee milking machine. My once fabulous high enormous norks are now deflated, sorry and flaccid.
I can pass muster in a bra, but, oh, my, once it's off, I fear I may cause the most jaunty of erections to subside.
DO men care as much as we do about the droopiness of our norks? Is it better to jauntily discard one's bra and say nothing? To forewarn? Or to keep one's bra on until things are on a firm footing as it were?

I would welcome comments from men as well as women who have surmounted this issue without either surgery or resignation to a life of celibacy.

CHEERS IA

x

Asked dh about this.

He also said any breasts are fantastic.

My DP is a major nork fan, they're his favourite thing in the world. I emailed him your post, wickerman, and this is his reply-

"well it kind of depends on the woman sat in front of you. If they are some young, slim gym fanatic then you kind of expect them to be perky. Unfortunately this often isn't the case, just because they don't necessarily respond to exercise etc and can be any shape they want to be for no obvious reason.

However, if you've got a late 30's bird with two kids, then you're not really going to expect them to be tickling the chin, so it shouldn't put someone off unless they had unrealistic expectations in the first place.

They're tits, lovely."

Get yourself a boob man and he won't give a fig what they look like.

And it is about 'spin' as well isn't it.

I could say about myself....

I am nearly flat chested, have a big bum, big muscley legs, a crooked nose, teeth in need of TLC and am not a great deal to look at. Slump my shoulders and feel drab.....

OR.

I could say,

I have delightfully perky breasts for 39, a cuvacious booty, strong, athletic legs, a life loving but lived in face, (teeth still need TLC but in time....)
put my chin in the air, shoulders back and strutt my stuff.

Go on, I dare you...big yourself up lol!!!!!

well I won't be shagging you then mayor

yes upbigging is the thing to do eh

there are a lot of good nork affirming mantras on here now

Anyone who calls themselves MayorQuimby is not to be relied on for advice on sexiness Have you seen what he looks like!?

Getting back to the norks advice - one thing you could do is wear an underwired bra and slip the straps off during the disrobing. Then pull your slightly over the top of the cups so it appears your breasts are bursting over the top.

It makes them look perky.

Wickerman

You, my lady, are the wonderful present that one lucky man will get to unwrap.

I am sure he won't see any flaws in the same whay you do, when swept up in the moment you will just be having a wonderful time and screwing the pants off each other.

no what does he look like?

Lemme guess, George Clooney.

that site is really interesting fedup1981

and I will be referring to it often

wickerman - you sound like a really nice woman with a lovely sense of humour and this issue really does not matter one jot to men although I can see why you think it might.

You should not feel the need to make any pre-announcement or forewarning. Indeed, you should say nothing at all because no man will say anything detrimental and he will not think it either. If he did, he would not deserve you. Indeed, he is more likely to be saying a silent little prayer of thanks that a nice woman actually likes him enough to want to be with him. Meanwhile he will also be attempting to hide his own sagging moobs, hold his paunch in and be desperately hoping that he is able match up to your expectations.

My DW had the same feeling as you after DS2 and she has sage advice for all women after having chldren. Go and get a proper bra fitting and treat yourself to some nice underwear.

She was amazed to find she had been wearing the wrong sized bra almost all her life and the place she went (John Lewis bra fitting service) said something like 50- 70% of the women that they see are in the same position. Wearing nice underwear with a good bra of the proper size made her feel much more physically comfortable, made her clothes look and fit better and gave her a lot of confidence. It was quite nice for me too.

What is amazing about this thread is the vast gulf between the nice things men are saying and the self doubt that you (and oother women) are expressing. The problem is that there is really no channel at all by which normal men can communicate how they feel about normal women in RL. Even if they tell DW/DP they are only half believed as they will tend to think DH/DP is just telling them what they want to hear.

That leaves women unsure about what men really think about female bodies so they look at images in the media and use that as their reference point. Young women and teenage girls are obviously very susceptible.

I tend to agree with others on the issue of porn but I think it even more insideous how the media and fashion retail industry constantly bombard women with distorted body images in their advertising. The images portrayed there are plasticised and digitised and are not actually very atrractive to men at all but are undoubtedly aimed at women and held up as some sort of ideal they should strive for.

Good luck in your quest - enjoy yourself and stop worrying.

whomovedmychocolate - your two "hard boiled eggs in turkey neck" comment made me . I must admit I did cast a slighty worried sideways glance in the bathroom mirror this morning just to check, like [male vanity, moi?]

sorry didn't comment to cause offence. commented because the title said they were looking for frank and honest opinion on the matter.
just giving my two-cents. won't post further on this thread.

Listen to Evenbetadad about the bra fitting.

After my first was born I felt none of my bras I had used before pregnancy fitted. I went to John Lewis for a bra fitting when my son had weaned himself off the breast at 14 months. While ONE assistant was running in and out with bras for me to try, two others were playing with my son outside, cubicle hide and seek can be so much fun when you ae 14 months and have just learnt to walk.

Anyway, back to the point. I was measured, and was given a 36 D, to my utter amazement, and it was such a shock to see myself in a correctly fitted bra. A Balconette, which I had never before even dared attempt.

Sadly now, 6 years later, my breasts have shrunk and my balconettes of the past are gaping where they before would be filled up, I think another bra fitting is on the cards. But even if my breast have dropped, and sag a little, I am sure a well fitted bra will make it much better.

You'll be fine. We generally just like breasts per se.

Just don't shout 'timmmmberrrrr' when you undo your clasp.

Oh I've done the bra fitting thing.
It is marvellous indeed
Bravissimo
as discussed on many threads here
it just makes the difference between clad and unclad more shocking ime

BUT
in the main

I have been bolstered
by the comments on here

so I will go and meet my potential shag
with self esteem lofty
and norks proud

Yay! Go wickerman!

Yay, Wickerman. Shag your socks off, lovey.

Good for you, we will wait with baited breath to see how you get on - your new found confidence will have 'em flocking after you!

I once had a small bakery. I used to prepare the dough and spread the balls out under a linen sheet (about 36 or so) on a floured table, to rise. A friend (male) came in and 'leant' on them (mid rise) to my discust (squashed them down with his forearms) I shouted at him but he stayed there, fixed, statue like, with his eyes glazed over in ecstacy. He said it felt like loads of soft squidgy boobs under there and could he do that to all the others underneath.... So I said 'I thought men liked the firm perky type'... he said that soft texture he could feel right now would do just fine. And his dream would be to walk bare foot over a field of boobs... (and this was the nearest he ever came to that)... Men just like boobs...
After he left (got pushed out of the bakery) I gently felt these rising balls of dough under the linen sheet and yes, they felt superb, one hand on my own breast and one hand on the dough ball, yes exactly alike. Worst bit was, he put his head back round the door and caught me at it...

...even me, as a straight woman - think breasts are amazing. So a man?...

lol @ 'field of boobs'

Kally! Hilarious and yet... strangely profound

There has to be a quote of the week in there - maybe "I gently felt these rising balls of dough under the linen sheet and yes, they felt superb, one hand on my own breast and one hand on the dough"

Kally
They are pretty fab though aren't they?

Lolol.....at kally

Well, it is rather fun doing the daily monthly breast check IMO

Dunno why it is so easy to believe the bad stuff and not the good EvenBetaDad.

From a self esteem point of view, my two most memorable 'exes' never paid me a single compliment but made me feel like the most gorgeous woman in the world. That takes some doing.

Making someone feel good about themselves is priceless, either way round.

Don't say anything to forewarn or prepare prospective shag partners though. I was once in a similar position (ahem!) with a bloke I'd fancied for ages, we were just getting to the kit off stage when he deemed it appropriate to announce that "it might be smaller than you expected.."

My lust evaporated in an instant, his lack of confidence was a complete turn off (he was right though, it was tiny!). I couldn't go through with it, made some excuse to avoid sex and the memory of the whole evening still makes me and cringe deeply to this day. In fact, I had almost succeeded in blocking it out until I read this thread.

So don't say anything for God's sake..

LMAO @ Kally

Have had a moment about the individual who knocked my confidence......

But this thread had been SO therapeutic, so ta wickerman and I hope you get the ummmmm...well...y'know

have fun!