A frank word about norks. If there were a sex/body image topic I would post there.

[wickerman]

So I am in my late 30s with two kids. I am separated and in some need of a good seeing to.
My issue is this. Norks.
I breastfed for two years each, as well as a stay in hospital using a massive, farm stylee milking machine. My once fabulous high enormous norks are now deflated, sorry and flaccid.
I can pass muster in a bra, but, oh, my, once it's off, I fear I may cause the most jaunty of erections to subside.
DO men care as much as we do about the droopiness of our norks? Is it better to jauntily discard one's bra and say nothing? To forewarn? Or to keep one's bra on until things are on a firm footing as it were?

I would welcome comments from men as well as women who have surmounted this issue without either surgery or resignation to a life of celibacy.

CHEERS IA

x

[giddykipper]

Sorry, my DP can be an arse at times, I should have thought a bit harder before committing his random thoughts to print.

[Monkeyandbooba]

Wickerman you see what happens when you get laid, you can't have a game plan ahead of time or you'll never relax. Would you expect a man in his late 30s to be perfect?

I'm sure you ARE lovely and strong and sassy, any man worth his salt will see this and love you - nay lust after you! - and your body.

[muffle]

pmsl at knee-warmers.

I think good, firm, uplifting (and well-fitting) bra and keep it on, then get it off once in bed. Also, they're probably nowhere near as unattractive as you think - you're comparing them with your ideal/past glories; to a man they will just be nice norks.

I once had a very foxy brazilian employer who swore by putting ice on hers to firm them up - sounds painful to me so I never tried it, but you could (carefully?) experiment?

[PlumpRumpSoggyBaps]

Hmm. DH just said that if there's sex on the table (as it were ) then no, it wouldn't matter in the slightest.

Having said that, I'd say just keep your bra on till you're comfortable. They did it on Sex and the City all the time........

[TheFallenMadonna]

DH is finding it hard to get his head around the idea of a 'disappointing disrobing'. He reckons it will be all ripping each other's clothes off in the heat of passion rather than a cool once-over of each other's bodies. He cannot see the bloke minding anyway. God knows he doesn't

[mollyroger]

pretend you're in an american film. The women always leave their bras on. Then they do that really curious, dragging off the whole duvet bit to go to the bathroom thing

[Monkeyandbooba]

I agree that men find confidence a turn on, maybe your strategy is to tell him exactly what you like and where you want to be touched he won't be interested in your norks!? FWIW I am not fussed about attention to my chest, leaves me cold and cannot understand why anyone finds stimulation in that area a turn on!

[muggglewump]

Well, I have 34B's so not big. They are empty feeling, droopy but with massive nips and the odd black hair (OK I pluck the hairs out), so not great.
The last time I had sex was with a new guy who is 23 and I just went for it and gave the impression of body confidence. Perhaps easy for me to say as I knew there was no relationship on the cards but he was very impressed!
Impressed with the sex I mean, and if he noticed the weird boobs and/or cellulite thighs, (hamster cheeks, varicose veins, episiotomy scarred fanjo, stupid small frog feet) , he has not mentioned it. He was more worried that I thought him inexperienced!

I really think giving them the impression you love what you have works!

(Obsess in the mirror once they have left)

[Monkeyandbooba]

Disappointing disrobing makes me think of taking of a surgical gown in front of a cosmetic surgeon and him looking disappointed with his handiwork

[MiniMarmite]

I have saggy norks and tummy post preg and bf and I'm quite a bit heaver than before too but DH doesn't appear to have noticed. Confidence and sexy underwear hide a multitude of 'sins'

[muffle]

at your "friend" tailormade! That is something he can think but not IMO say - how rude! That is not the kind of man you need OP - as has been said, you wouldn't expect a man in his late 30s to have some kind of superstud body - and probably wouldn't really want him to. You want someone you can feel relaxed and imperfect with, without fear of criticism.

[wickerman]

I am intrigued by your frog feet, are they green and webbed?

[MadamAnt]

Definitely don't forewarn! Imagine if the boot was on the other foot. A bloke with, say, a small penis could carry it off by being a super-confident shagmaster. It would be deeply offputting to be warned about it though.

[FairMidden]

Does it really matter to men? Mine have taken a bit of a beating over the last couple of years but in spite of their veiny droopiness he still murmurs "marvellous" sometimes

I reckon you shouldn't prewarn, just do the jaunty thing. Be proud, they're maybe not what they once were but I bet they're still fabulous. I don't know if there is such a thing as a bad boob.

[muggglewump]

No don't leave the bra on.
He will wonder why, and surely will try to take it off?
You'd look odd refusing to remove it.

Take it off yourself and love what's under it, or at least do a good job of pretending.

[AnyFucker]

giddy, I'm glad you said that about your dh

It bothered me, that comment he made, have been trying to word a tactful reply to you

If my dh said something like that, I would be very surprised and disappointed in him

[Lizzylou]

Wickerman, you are in your late 30's, so any potential shag partners will probably be in that age range and be worried about their bald spot/droopy balls/beer belly/receding hairline/ability to perform...don't get stressed about your tits, luv.

PS. I have always had a good set, but two massive babies (well, only one massive one, one large) breastfeeding and losing/gaining weight have taken their toll, one thing that does help is wearing a soft maternity bra to bed when you have no chance of anything other than sleeping.

[PlumpRumpSoggyBaps]

BTW- as you can see by my name I think my boobs are a touch- well, saggy/soggy.

I met DH 6 years ago and my boobs were the same then as they are now, so men ovbiously don't worry too much about it!!

[muggglewump]

wickerman
No, but they are tiny, size 2-3 but really wide at the toes, so they look like webbed frog feet without the webs.

When I was younger I used to get called hoof feet, as my feet aren't much bigger than my legs!

[kittywise]

Well, I've BF 6 kids ( still bf my 2 year old) I never had boobs but now they are gone and what's left is a good deal lower than it use to be.
BUT whenever i grumble about them dp tells me there is nothing wrong with them, they are great etc and just like they used to be ( lie).
There are many decent men out there who wont care and the ones that do aren't worth bothering with.

Good luck

[FigmentOfYourImagination]

Actually I've known a few on the smaller end of average nobbed blokes and they have often been better lovers than their giant cocked compadres. They tend to be better at oral and foreplay because they have less to bank on downstairs. Big cocked blokes tend to just randomly stab at you labouring under the total misapprehension that you will scream with pleasure at their enormous pork swords like the girls in the films. Smaller wangs try harder.

[whomovedmychocolate]

I have a very rude obnoxious friend who said 'you don't look at the stove while poking the fire' which I'm interpreting as 'men are so pathetically grateful they are getting sex they don't really notice your norks'.

However as I responded to him, I have noticed that men also have bits which hang lower with age. Two of them. Shall we say hard boiled eggs in turkey neck

[wickerman]

pmsl at giant cocked compadres

[FigmentOfYourImagination]

sorry, I was responidng to the small penises post.

Realise this is not a nob thread.

[wickerman]

but it was a good point
and I am still laughing

there is always room for nob analysis even on a nork thread