A frank word about norks. If there were a sex/body image topic I would post there.

[wickerman]

So I am in my late 30s with two kids. I am separated and in some need of a good seeing to.
My issue is this. Norks.
I breastfed for two years each, as well as a stay in hospital using a massive, farm stylee milking machine. My once fabulous high enormous norks are now deflated, sorry and flaccid.
I can pass muster in a bra, but, oh, my, once it's off, I fear I may cause the most jaunty of erections to subside.
DO men care as much as we do about the droopiness of our norks? Is it better to jauntily discard one's bra and say nothing? To forewarn? Or to keep one's bra on until things are on a firm footing as it were?

I would welcome comments from men as well as women who have surmounted this issue without either surgery or resignation to a life of celibacy.

CHEERS IA

x

[SallyJayGorce]

EvenBetaDad - thanks. I do think women need to change their own attitudes to themselves and not look to men for their self esteem. There might be a few under developed blokes who think women are supposed to conform to an ideal, but most I know are much more likely to head for the most vibrant personality, the woman making people laugh, the one not worrying that her hair has frizzed up in the rain or nervously pointing out that she has put on weight. Or the shy woman with the lovely smile or cool specs and a kind word for their noisy kids. I know a lot of lovely and discerning blokes with great partners - and not one of their partners is anythings like the others. The blokes are a variable bunch too but, as Shakespeare said "Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind". Lucky for him, with that hairstyle.

[EvenBetaDad]

SallyJayGorce - sorry I got your name wrong. I have had several glasses of wine for lunch and it is only Monday.

[EvenBetaDad]

SallyJayGrace - you said it how it really is for men.

I had an odd experience the other day in the Bull Ring shopping centre in Birmingham that illustrates the point.

I was sat having a coffee just staring into space and in front of me were all the women's clothes shops with a lot of pictures of women in partial and full state of dress splashed across the windows. Supposed images of 'perfection' if you like.

A lot of real life women were also walking across my line of sight in front of the shops. I can tell you now that the images on the shop front had no impact on the 'neanderthal' part of my male brain at all - it was just like looking at wall paper. However, I would say that a good half of the women I saw walking across my line of sight appeared in some way 'attractive' to me.

What was interesting was watching how so many of the real life women walking past did glance up at the shop front images. Almost all of them did. For some reason I started thinking about this thread. I just thought to myself how sad it was that so many of those real life women would think they were less attractive than the 'perfect' images on the shop fronts.

Honestly, blokes do not stand there judging women's bodies aganst some perfect standard. We like what we like and that is by no means the 'perfection' image that is presented in the media or on shop fronts. Yes, by all means, do wear something special, brush your hair and put on some lipstick. That is nice and we do notice and we do like it - but we are not body perfect ourselves and most of us know it.

[SallyJayGorce]

Excellent! Well done - glad it did you good AnnasB. I think we should all endeavour to accept our wildly different bodies and jazz them up a bit if it makes us more confident - it's more about us than about them - they are more easily pleased than we think sometimes - or perhaps more realistic about women's bodies and not as hung up on images of 'perfection'. We aren't the only creatures that like a good display of attitude or plummage - it's perfectly natural IMO.

[AnnasBananas]

Sally - thanks for the words of encouragement...

I'm very pleased to say the peep-knickers got their first outing last night and DH absolutely loved it!! It was a real boost to my confidence to see his reaction. I can't believe I have had them in the drawer this long and no courage to try them out.



PS Wickerman...any updates you can share with us??

[SallyJayGorce]

Go on - if you can buy crutchless knickers a peep hole bra is no problem! Dh will love it and, I know we should all be confident without, but a bit of sexy fun works wonders - for you more than your fella!

[SammyK]

normal breast gallery here

It is true, all the images we see in the media are not proportionate to real women's bodies, and the same goes for men too. It's no wonder we all have issues with body image at one time or another in our lives.

Wickerman - I have found this thread mostly positive and think it's good you started it.

Good luck with propspective man.

[AnnasBananas]

Good idea about the peep-bra will be sexy but still supportive, they look quite fun although I have not been brave enough to buy one.

Did buy a pair of crutchless knickers before Christmas though, but have been to self-conscious to wear them for DH. Still in top drawer in Ann Summers plastic bag, how sad is that?

[TheMitsubishiWarrioress]

Tuck your hands in your back pockets and hold your shoulders back a little Scrumplet, and walk like you own the world

[SallyJayGorce]

You might fancy a bloke who is a sweet natured, kind, sexy and slightly neurotic about his shortcomings - so more than happy to adore yours. If you're self conscious you could vamp in up in one of those nippleless bras - I have one and DH loves that. Isn't he a lucky man?!

[Scrumplet]

Oh wickerman, I can imagine how you're feeling. I have the opposite problem: tiny boobs. They used to be an athletic AA (A on a good day), which I'd happily flaunt without a bra. Now, they are the same size, but slightly saggy too, and have some coarse dark hairs around the nipple which I shave off every other day. I also have to shave my chin/jaw every morning. I don't think anyone day-to-day has noticed, but I dread the disappointment/horror on a future partner's face. These things did bother my ex. IME, not all men are happy to get their eyes/hands on a pair of boobs, regardless of what form they may take. However, I'm told - and am learning myself - that these sorts (who do care a lot about physical perfection) aren't worth bothering with.

The self-confidence thing makes a lot of sense. That's what I plan to work on. You sound like you're most of the way there. Good luck.

[jellybeans]

Hi sorry not read all posts (so sorry if already mentioned this site) but have you looked here here There is a 'normal breasts gallery' whcih is great. Instead of the usual plastic/one type of tits that we are constantly faced with in the media, this site shows normal women of all types. Also a great discussion on the western obsession with womens breasts and the damage it does to women and babies.

[TheMitsubishiWarrioress]

Actually I think there should be a sex/body image topic so I can find the rude threads more easily as I think this has been a very positive thread.

[TheMitsubishiWarrioress]

Have had a moment about the individual who knocked my confidence......

But this thread had been SO therapeutic, so ta wickerman and I hope you get the ummmmm...well...y'know

have fun!

[MadamAnt]

LMAO @ Kally

[sickofthisrain]

Don't say anything to forewarn or prepare prospective shag partners though. I was once in a similar position (ahem!) with a bloke I'd fancied for ages, we were just getting to the kit off stage when he deemed it appropriate to announce that "it might be smaller than you expected.."

My lust evaporated in an instant, his lack of confidence was a complete turn off (he was right though, it was tiny!). I couldn't go through with it, made some excuse to avoid sex and the memory of the whole evening still makes me and cringe deeply to this day. In fact, I had almost succeeded in blocking it out until I read this thread.

So don't say anything for God's sake..

[TheMitsubishiWarrioress]

Lolol.....at kally

Well, it is rather fun doing the daily monthly breast check IMO

Dunno why it is so easy to believe the bad stuff and not the good EvenBetaDad.

From a self esteem point of view, my two most memorable 'exes' never paid me a single compliment but made me feel like the most gorgeous woman in the world. That takes some doing.

Making someone feel good about themselves is priceless, either way round.

[Lizzylou]

Kally
They are pretty fab though aren't they?

[muffle]

Kally! Hilarious and yet... strangely profound

There has to be a quote of the week in there - maybe "I gently felt these rising balls of dough under the linen sheet and yes, they felt superb, one hand on my own breast and one hand on the dough"

[FigmentOfYourImagination]

lol @ 'field of boobs'

[Kally]

I once had a small bakery. I used to prepare the dough and spread the balls out under a linen sheet (about 36 or so) on a floured table, to rise. A friend (male) came in and 'leant' on them (mid rise) to my discust (squashed them down with his forearms) I shouted at him but he stayed there, fixed, statue like, with his eyes glazed over in ecstacy. He said it felt like loads of soft squidgy boobs under there and could he do that to all the others underneath.... So I said 'I thought men liked the firm perky type'... he said that soft texture he could feel right now would do just fine. And his dream would be to walk bare foot over a field of boobs... (and this was the nearest he ever came to that)... Men just like boobs...
After he left (got pushed out of the bakery) I gently felt these rising balls of dough under the linen sheet and yes, they felt superb, one hand on my own breast and one hand on the dough ball, yes exactly alike. Worst bit was, he put his head back round the door and caught me at it...

...even me, as a straight woman - think breasts are amazing. So a man?...

[Monkeyandbooba]

Good for you, we will wait with baited breath to see how you get on - your new found confidence will have 'em flocking after you!

[AnnasBananas]

Yay, Wickerman. Shag your socks off, lovey.

[QuintessentialShadows]

Yay! Go wickerman!

[wickerman]

Oh I've done the bra fitting thing.
It is marvellous indeed
Bravissimo
as discussed on many threads here
it just makes the difference between clad and unclad more shocking ime

BUT
in the main

I have been bolstered
by the comments on here

so I will go and meet my potential shag
with self esteem lofty
and norks proud