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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

please help my husband left today

1001 replies

fadingaway · 01/05/2009 19:28

11th August would have been our Silver wedding anniversary.

We have 5 children.

I was at work. My 11 year old rang me in floods of tears. He had taken the two youngest to nursery, left a note saying he would always love them, and just went. Left a note for me saying he's been seeing someone else for two years.

I have nobody in RL, I only had him. The younger children just keep asking for daddy, the older ones are in bits. I would have laid down my life for him. Please help me. I don't think I can cope with this. His phone is off. I don't have a clue where he is.

OP posts:
fadingaway · 02/05/2009 07:45

thank you. DS got me up just before 6am. I took the dog for a walk. I will tell DD1 a bit later this morning.

I am so grateful to you all for your posts as they are all I have to keep me going. Every time I hear a car I think it's him coming back. I keep thinking of them together and I keep checking the phones.

I have nothing left I don't kow how I will get through today but I will come back later.

OP posts:
countingto10 · 02/05/2009 07:52

As someone posted before, we are all on another thread here - hope it links.

We are really all in the early stages but there is light at the end of the tunnel. Most of us have been left in the last 8 weeks or so.

You will see from my posts on there that I was hyperventilating and on diazepan at the stage you are at now. Have a read and take care of yourself.

countingto10 · 02/05/2009 07:54

I'll try again here

countingto10 · 02/05/2009 07:56

Sorry I can't get it to link - but it's under "Husband left me on Sunday - please help me" - come and join us.

poshtottie · 02/05/2009 08:14

Reading your post brought a lump to my throat. This happened to me and I remember how bloody awful it was. Fortunately we didn't have children at the time and I did get through it.

We too had just moved to a new area and I didn't know anyone at all. I remember a neighbour walking past and saying hello and me bursting into tears. Her husband had left her the year before after 25 years. We became good friends.

I didn't have any money either as he cleaned out the bank account and I had left my job to move with him for his work. We had just bought a new house so I refused to move so he had to pay the mortgage.

You are in shock, please phone your friends/family they will want to help. You need support.

piggintrotters · 02/05/2009 08:27

I am so sorry fr what you are going through fadingaway, nobody deserves to be treated like this. I wish I could do something to make it better for you, his behaviour is barbaric. He obviouisly can't deal with facing you at the moment. Look after your babies, they are worth a million of him and you are too.

cherryblossoms · 02/05/2009 08:42

Good morning fadingaway.

No real advice. Just someone else to offer an ear to listen and a little strength in numbers.

Would it help to write a list of all the things you need to do, just as a map for the day, in case your mind goes blank at any point?

Could you arrange a weekend with you and the dc at a very good friend's/close and supportive family?

May I ask why it was you moved?

Was thinking of you over the night.

pramspotter · 02/05/2009 08:45

Oh my gosh I am so sorry for you fadingaway. I think that fact that you are coherent right now shows how strong you are. I am sending lots of positive energy and stuff your way.

I also have young children and no friends and family nearby and panic at the thought of losing DH to illness, accident, or twatface dickheadedness. They should sell some kind of insurance policy for the last one. They sell it for the first two.

KnickKnack · 02/05/2009 09:13

A link to the thread CountingTo10 was talking about

I didn't want to read and not post something. I cant begin to imagine how you are feeling. As others have said, keep posting, there are plenty of people who will help you get through the next few days/weeks.

KnickKnack · 02/05/2009 09:20

Are you still close to any of your friends in London? Can you phone any of them today?

Can you talk to a local priest? (I'm not religious, sorry if this is a ridiculous idea)

Are there any helplines you could call (again, out of my depth here...but sometimes it helps just to talk)

RealityIsMyOnlyDelusion · 02/05/2009 09:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Notquitegrownup · 02/05/2009 09:34

Fadingaway - I couldn't read your post and not reply. This has hit you like a ton of bricks and you must be in complete shock. It doesn't feel like it now, but you will get through this and your dcs will be your strength. It won't be easy, but there are other mums on MN who know exactly how you feel and will be able to understand and support you.

Well done for taking the dog for a walk. Don't try to get through the whole day. Just get through the next five minutes. Then get through the next hour. That will be the way it is for a while.

And whatever else is happening, remember that you have your dcs and they are there for you. Your dh has turned his back on them all and walked away. He has lost it all. You still have them, your integrity your home and your family.

Thinking of you. Keep on posting. MN is open day and night.

merryberry · 02/05/2009 09:35

have no idea if on right thread...

i'm so sorry.

your 23 year old is an adult as well as your child, please get her practical help.

get all family possible to your side, show the kids and you they are not alone.

then send some off to usual haunts and friends to try and track him down.

poshsinglemum · 02/05/2009 09:43

i think that the reason why he left in such a horrid, cowardly fashion is that he's very guilty. so he should be. am and for you.
also this smells of mid life crisis. keep strong- i know it's hard. focus on you and your kids. you can pull together to get through this.

junglist1 · 02/05/2009 09:49

Just wanted to send sympathy your way, and to say i agree that you will find the strength from somewhere, even though it will be awful.Could you go and stay somewhere for a few days? It must be so stressful thinking every car is his. Keep posting, you have loads of friends on here.

PistachioLemon · 02/05/2009 09:49

Fadingaway, I don't know what to say really, but I do very strongly agree that you have to protect your position, and as soon as possible, so if CAB isn't open today or Monday you have to call them first thing on Tuesday so that you can get some proper advice.

I also second the idea that you need to move money out of any joint accounts just to be on the safe side.

In the meantime, perhaps get in touch with some of your old friends in London? Just speaking to someone who knows and loves you may help a bit.

kalo12 · 02/05/2009 10:46

hi fadingaway, good morning to you. please keep strong. you will get through this. it sounds like his family is supportive of you. i agree about the money. also if you take all the money out it may mean he is forced to get in touch and then confront this situation properly in an adult fasion.

maybe change the locks is a good idea too.

i know emotionally this is devastating but i think maybe taking practical measures might be a good starting point for you.

fadingaway · 02/05/2009 12:00

thank you so much.

I am not doing so well. My FIL came over and he wants to kill DH too. He left after an hour or so.

I told my eldest DD she was rightly devastated. She adores her dad as do the other DCs.I am afraid I havenowhere to go with the four of them. I am trying to keep things normal for them and going away wouldn't be normal for us!

I tried his phone it is still off.

I can't do this

OP posts:
photolady · 02/05/2009 12:03

I am so sorry, I empathise with you so much. We have been married 27 years and my once very loving man and father seems to be to be on total self destruct.

My husband has just taken another house, despite him trying to make out that leaving us was all about money. He has criticised me non stop i.e. I, don't do enough house work, I spend too much etc (which is ridiculous because I shop at charity shops and have always economised, cooking for us and so forth)...

In the middle of a heated discussion today about things the woman next door came around about the dog and how she can't put up with it any more going into her garden; and yet he has never fenced in the garden properly to stop the dog going there. She had a right go at us.

Our one daughter has had a mega cancer scare this week, another is struggling to walk due to a medical condition, the other has just been unfairly sacked because she couldn?t concentrate on her work and had an accident. Our son has become so lazy that he is still working student hours 2 years after leaving college. Yet, if I have said anything to my husband I have been nagging him apparently, and this is why he is leaving.

Yet he seems determined to carry on with the total destruction of the family. He just picked the dog up in temper and took it away with him to give to someone else. He simply won't see that all of the problems we have been suffering have been because of the dark cloud that 'he' has brought into the house. He goes on about other people's houses, yet when I say to him to stop mixing with these people who are making him feel so dissatisfied about his life and what he has, he says I am twisting things.

I know that he's been on the Internet talking to other women about sex, I have copies of some of the e-mails. Even now that he has decided to bring our marriage to an end, he is still working and working and working (what for?). I keep asking him what for, we could have sold the house long ago and been more than comfortable somewhere else. When I said that I was going to have his books audited and the bank accounts looked into, he flew at me about not trusting him and that?s why he was bringing the marriage to an end. How can I trust him though when he's been lying to me all the time. No matter what I said he kept trying to turn it back on me again and again.

He is in the Free Masons and we have got to the point that he simply won?t have anything done in the house unless the person doing it is a Mason too, even if they are no good at what the do (and they often are terrible at it). At one time he simply wouldn?t have put up with cheap shoddy jobs; it?s all so ridiculous, it really is because they are blocking real craftsmen out of work. This is one of the reasons that he is constantly going into other people's houses who are better off finacially with bigger and better houses because they make the work reciprical, so there will never be an end to it. I have tried to tell him again ang again that he is not dependent on them to live he had his skills long before becoming a Mason , but he seems to think that he needs them now.

He has made friends with some men who have left their families (probably under similar circumstances too) to him they seem to have a fantastic life, sitting playing games on their computers all day.

So, here I am carrying all the hurt and with my life in absolute limbo, no money of my own, too old to start new career because my life has been put on hold for his and stuck in a house that's too big for me to physically manage on my own and not really well enough to move either. I don't really have the inclination. Why am I the one being punished here and having my life turned upside down?

I hope he's happy sitting in his freshly painted house without a thing out of place, it may give him time to reflect on how he been making me live these last few years.

Wordweaver · 02/05/2009 12:11

You can do this, because you are stronger than you realise, and because you love your children so much.

You are in deep shock, and thinking about what to do tomorrow or the next day or the next is too much right now. Just think about the next hour. Little step by little step, you will keep moving forwards.

Shock is paralysing and very real. Just be very, very kind to yourself. Keep drinking fluids even if you can't eat. Get some fresh air. Keep warm.

You must be reeling, and the only thing that will get you beyond the shock of these first days is time, and showing yourself care and love.

I hope that seeing the messages from the people who have posted on here gives you some feeling of support. Use that - use every kind of support you can muster right now. You can think about bigger 'next steps' when the shock has subsided.

All best wishes to you.

MANATEEequineOHARA · 02/05/2009 12:21

You will be ok, really, he sounds like a vile little worm going about things in such a selfish way. And you ARE therefore better off without him.

It is so hard when you are single in the early days, but it gets sooooo much better, there are so many positive things about bbeing on your own. It is awful that he has done this when your kids are at an age to be really affected though, that is all the more telling about what kind of a moron you have just got away from. You will be the strong one and come out of this all the better.

BettySwollux · 02/05/2009 12:35

Fading, so sorry to hear about this.
I dont have any advice to offer, sorry, but I live near Durham if you would like to meet for coffee.
I dont have CAT, but you could email me at bswollux @ yahoo . co . uk (no spaces)
Try and stay strong. xx

PlumpRumpSoggyBaps · 02/05/2009 12:53

Hallo fading. I just wanted to post to add my support to everyone elses. As others have said, you can do this- you already are. Every five minutes, every hour, is a victory for you.

Don't try to look too far ahead, focus on the practical. I know it's a cliche, but time will help heal you.

Keep going. You're doing so well.

fadingaway · 02/05/2009 12:57

am checking in again -I must stop as it takes me away from the DCs.
Thank you all so much for taking the trouble to post.
I wish that they were all in bed. They all need me and I am trying for them.

OP posts:
whereismumhiding · 02/05/2009 13:13

Hi Fadingaway , Welcome to our sad little world. My H left too, 3 weeks ago leaving me with 3 DC, (aged 6, 4, 1). Midlife crisis? Selfishness? Can't do family anymore? Wants to relive his youth? I dont know. And it was driving me mad trying to work out why he left and how I could fix it so he would come back.

Your H has been lying to you. Of course you are devastated. You trusted him. You dont deserve this. None of us do. Many man have hard times, are tired from work, their wives irritate them a little the same way they irritate us a little. Good men just keep going and find a way to stick in there.

Try and stay in the moment as much as you can. Dont think about the future. Children are more resiliant than you realise. It's OK to cry hysterically, that's normal as you're grieving. It's pain for no reason other than he is causing it. It wasnt unavoidable and they rae terrible terrible selfish men to do this to their loving wives and families.

This is what I have been learning over the past 3 weeks: He is not the man you love as he has been lying to you and the family. This may all be out of character. Or maybe he's changed and become someone you could never admire.

Silverlining, Countingto10 and me are all going through this too. You are NOT alone. We are here and we're going to get through this together.

These men have no idea of the heartache they are causing. The sheer devastation. How could they ever feel good about themselves again, or sleep at night?

I'm sending you lots and lots of hugs and love. You're not alone xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Find some help anywhere you can. Talk to people. Any mums at school you can talk to, you'd be surprised how quickly friendships can shoot up when you share something so terrible. My DS's best friend's mum grabbed me when she noticed I was wiping away tears at the school gates, and despite only having lovely conversations about the boys before, she has been a rock & listenned to me sobbing my heart out. Her first H left her when her first DH was 4, and she has been amazing at keeping me going by her advice and support.

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