So whats 'your take' on this?

[piggintrotters]

Sorry, have named changed, BTW I hope you like it. DH is financially secure and successful and I am very proud of him however, we seem to have quite different values and it causes many an argument. This is how it is. I am a SAHM (we both want that) and I would like to finish furnishing our house. It has been 4 years now and we still have curtains in a few rooms and need some furniture, glassware, cutlery and crockery. Of course we can make do and if we were on hard times then it wouldn't be an issue. BUT dh can afford these things and prefers to invest his wealth/earnings into his company. I agree, thats a wise move but can't we have the house finished first please? It always leads to us 'having words' and him saying stuff like I bring home as much money as possible and, you just had a holiday, etc etc. The company has grown magnificently with all the cah injection - because it is important. My home is important too, I spend 24/7 in it. How can I make him see things my way? I never ask for much, I don't nag, I would just like to have the home complete. Any ideas Mnrs?

Despite my comments about my own situation,if I was Piggs I would issue divorce proceedings as a wake up call.See what t he courts think to your 'contribution'.

If he takes home 100k and pays all the bills then it would be a reasonably fair split

sorry, expressed that clumsily: I meant cupboards not adequately stocked with crockery; not suggesting the family isn't fed

I am not having a pop at her for having a twat of a husband: I am having a pop at her for sitting around being helpless rather than doing something about it

if people want change, they need to do something

if she can train for charity, then she could equally well get herself a job or train for a job

if she is not tied up all day looking after dcs and/or the household, I see no reason why her husband should support her just because he's a millionaire.

or what century do we live in

I repeat: her husband is still a tightfisted twat

I would be pissed off about being paid probably illegally.

I DO think she needs answers to these financial questions.

If he is taking home 100k, she is being treated fairly. She does not know that he isn't.

dittany - DH and I have an 'allowance' for things TBH. We have a fixed amount within which we have to manage. As it happens we both contribute to it as we both work but the principle remains. We can't spend more because we don't have it.

Unless we can see the balance sheet of the OP's DH's company we have no way of knowing just what profit it is making. Turnover isn't profit.

Maybe what he gives is all he can afford atm.

There are issues of control etc but the OP is not struggling financially, sorry but she isn't.

After food, clothes and petrol costs there will not be enough to furnish and equip a large house left over out of £2200. End of.

dittany on Thu 30-Apr-09 20:43:47
"Did you miss the bit where she offered to work for his company cory but he refused to let her?"

I don't see how that is relevant. That might just mean he doesn't think she has skills that his particular company needs, or that he doesn't think the company needs another employee just at the moment. She does not say that he has forbidden her to look for another job somewhere else, or to train for another job. If I asked my dh to find me a job he couldn't do it either. It doesn't mean I can't go out and look for one elsewhere.

After food, clothes and petrol costs there will not be enough to furnish and equip a large house left over out of £2200. End of.

That is silly

There will be enough for cutlery, plates and glasses for the price of 2 cushions

Message withdrawn

ABetaDad on Thu 30-Apr-09 20:54:58
"After food, clothes and petrol costs there will not be enough to furnish and equip a large house left over out of £2200. End of."

But it's not the case that she gets a one-off sum of £2200. She gets a monthly allowance. So she could buy some plates one month and some glasses the next. Which after all is how most of us have had to furnish our houses. It was the pathetic tone of the OP that riled so many posters: being invited to commiserate with someone living in (as it seemed) squalor.

dittany on Thu 30-Apr-09 20:51:56

"Are you working this out from how much people are supposed to be able to survive on benefits? "

Are you serious? The OPs allowance is more than the median wage- people on benefits get nowhere near that.

I could cry for you piggin

He's not daft is he? He's got you right where he wants you. I agree you're 2nd class to him. He's belittling and controlling.

I'd leave him too but that's your choice. You'll be much better off financially. But I'm not you so you have to do what you feel is best. He isn't listening to you though , there's no respect.

bloss's two posts just sum it up

it doesn't add up

£150 on cushions but not enough plates to eat off