i know it is wrong

[doublestandards]

Just over a year ago, DH and I were having a really bad time. We even started divorce proceedings. I met another man through an internet chat room. He was with a woman and just wanted a bit of fun. So did I really. So we started talking on MSN and we were really flirty and even had internet sex He came round to my house once to fix my computer and we got on so well. NOTHING happened except a peck on the cheek to say goodbye. Anyway, a few months later, DH and I decided to give it another go. I finished it with this other man (not that anything actually happened.) Anyway, out of the blue, he rung me today. I was so shocked. He was very flattering to me and I felt the same butterflies I did last time. I don't know what to do. I am not sure I am totally in love with my DH, but I know that there is no chance that me and this other man could ever be together. We are both 'happy' with our partners but for both of us, differences in sex drives has caused trouble within our relationships. I know that even comtemplating it is wrong. I would never actually do anything with this man, even though he has made it perfectly clear that he would like to. I need the courage to tell him that I can't ever speak to him again so i can get on with my life with DH, but at the same time, it is nice to feel wanted

But i thought you met him through an internet chat room?

if you let him come round, or go to his place, you have to be honest with yourself and admit that sex will occur.

Is it worth it, and can you live with it?

I think you've already made up your mind actually.

Sounds like you've made your mind up, I just hope you keep it away from your home. Don't pee on your own doorstep and all that.

Couldn't resist--hello Doublestandards. Lou has made some great points here. I can relate to how exciting it is to feel wanted and to have a bit of passion again. The problem is that it never lasts, you have to go deeper in love and unfortunately it takes alot of work to keep that passion going. I myself would not risk my relationship or betray my husband's trust in me for the sake of passion. But...all the best in whatever you decide.

Please do tell Coddy about the cybersex and what you say, PMSL Coddy and Countess!

yes i did. he also happens to live about 30 miles away from me. i spoke to a friend about it and she ended up saying it was her cousin and asked him and he said yes it was.

i havent made my mind up at all. its a head or heart matter

Well all i can say is be carful be very carful! Personally i would not want to risk my own long ter relationship for any man...but if you feel unhappy with your dh and your relationship maybe this is why you are looking for some fun,love,care elsewhere??
Maybe you should sit down and talk to your dh about how you are feeling?
Do you have children?

As long as you're prepared for the consequences and pain it will cause, then enjoy it.

lust seems to be winning out here i think

If you start an affair with him, you may be lucky, and noone finds out, noone gets hurt, but you still have to be able to deal with the emotional repercussions in your own head, and the fallout from that. Can you?

Would you be ok with DH doing the same? Really?

would he be happy with you doing it?

not sure tbh

Why would you be happy for yor DH to do it? Do you love him?

do you care what he thinks?

yes i do

Please don't take this the worng way but if neither of you mind the other one having sex with someone else you could always try swinging. Then it wouldn't be a secret from the other. It may even stremgthen your relationship.

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So if your dh finds out about this other man what would happen? Would you also be prepared for the consequences?

why is it a bad idea cod?

thats the thing ACU. i dont know

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No god no not swinging yuck yuck yuck

erm. no thanks!