I slapped the ow last night and i feel soooo much better!

[ambercat]

thats it really, feel like i have closure now!!

Good on you ambercat, if I was screwing around with someonelses husband I would be expecting more than a slap in the face.

Of course. So WOMEN should know that marriages shouldn't be touched (evn if they are single) but MARRIED men should be devoid of any such worries.

You are a bunch of bloody hypocrites.

Maybe you just find it easier (DrLove3) to call all other women slag-bags etc. rather than deal with the fact your ExH didn't want to be with you?

oh haribo im an equal oppertunities nutter, men can be slag-bags and howlers too!.and male tarts, man whores or whatever seems apropriate!

Haripo, ypu are specualting on a situation you have never been in. What people think they woiuld do in a situation is very often the opposite of what they actually do do. It's a well known phenomenon on psychology.

For the odd woman (or man) go get the odd slap for beiong the other person is a fact of life. No body died.

I don't buy the argument that the other person isn't responsible for their behavior either. |If you handle stolen goods, you are responsible for your actions.

But this is all saying that sometimes people just fall out of love and have affairs to get out of their respective relationships.

2byfour's idea was obviously far more refined and ideal, but Ambercat had a moment of weakness and snapped, she's already said it was totally out of character.
I'd like to think I wouldn't have done what Ambercat did, but I am fiery by nature so I probably would have tbh.
I hope never get to find out (disclaimer, my DH doesn't think with his dick, don't check his post/blackberry, I trust him)

Oh, well, that;s fine then, Monkeytrousers.

I'll just slap the next person that ever gets in my face. And I'll tell the coppers that 'nobody died'

no harribo dear, i didnt want to be with my cheating lying wife beating bully bi-sexual scumbag of an ex-h!.and it wasnt no lady he messed around with!....

Then why did you marry the scumbag??????

See, lots of people on this thread are assming the OW has superhuman powers and can see the truth of the sitation.

If it takes a wife a few years (and a few kids) to realise the DH is ctually a cheating, lying, bisexual scumbag, what hope does the OW have?

THAT's MY POINT.

Haribo all I can say is that I hope it never happens to you, because nobody can say what they would do until they are in that situation.
You come across as very callous and heartless. I'm sure you are not really like that and would be devastated if your dh had an affair. In the aftermath of it all when you and your children are devastated and you see the OW parading around without a care in the world, happy in her new relationship then I defy you not to feel any anger towards her.
OK maybe you wouldn't slap her, or maybe you would. You don't know until you have been there.
I'm off now. This thread is everything I hate about MN.

Oh I give up: GO slap whoever you want / feel great about it / teach your kids there is nothing better.

What a great future we all have to look forward to.

haribo you are banging your head against a brick wall here.thank god women like these are in teh minority or we would all be f*ed

I was cheated on twice by an XP.

I found out about both of them at the same time.

I was facing losing my home, on top of having lost my dignity.

I broke my wrist trying to physically force him out of said home, while he was giving grovelling apologies.

One of the girls involved, when confronted, apologised. She was genuinely embarrassed at her stupidity, and for the hurt she had caused. Last words I said to her..."What goes around, comes around, you'll get yours, and I hope I'm there to see it". She did, I was.

The other one, when I was on a rare night out, followed us around, just generally being a pain in the arse. When we didn't rise to her, she said to my friend "I suppose you know who I am" TWAT! When I asked her what her problem was she replied "I've never liked you" Her I would happily have slapped!

None of you can ever, ever look down your noses at the OP. Yes it's the husband she trusted, and no the other women didn't make vows to them, but there is a certain breed of OW who deliberately set out hurt people, because they are smug and self centered, and genuinely think they are better, and none of us know until we've been in that situation how we would react.

And FGS, this isn't DV, what utter nonsense! It's one gut reaction, that probably scared the shit out of the OP as she did it. She had no idea how she would feel after it, just so happens that it was good! Good for her!

I've moved on, I have a wonderful DH and two lovely DC's, but the sight of either of those girls still chills my blood years later. I hope those of you on your high horses never have to go there.

when speculating about the situation, i think i would ignore the ow and divorce dh. not speaking or reacting to validate their feelings either way.

i would lock the door and never see either of them again.

I hardly think that Ambercat is going to be teaching her Dc that violence is to be condoned, any more than adultery is.

Just as you wouldn't have slapped someone who had slept with your DH, Ambercat has not sneered at or insulted people who have disagreed with her.

I lived with a girl who chased after then started an affair with her married boss. She used to call their children "the brats" and laugh at his wife, saying how he was disgusted at how she looked after 2 children. Yes, the Boss was the one who was married and yes he was pathetic and disgusting to be cheating on his wife and DC with a much younger and more nubile model.
If she had got a slap it would have been the very least she deserved tbh, I didn't stick around to see.

I think its pretty certain that those roundedly condemning the OP and protcting/standing up for the OW - are the smug little marrieds who are ever so certain it would never happen to THEM oh no !!
Likewise thos of us who have been in the OP's position, face with not only a cheating lying H but a total loon of a OW who really doesnt give a shit who she hurts including our DC we undertsnad entirely why she did what she did, we are not applauding it, we are not saying it was wise or moral, we are just saying we understand !

LIzzylou - really? The girl was much younger? Yet SHE should have taken the slap, not him???

Yes, the BOSS was married and the one that took advantage of his position.

Again, I will say: WHy we all don't get off whatever rocking horse we are on about women and start putting blame where it rightly lays, then we'll all be better off!

I don't care what the OW calls the kids. Any dad who'll put up with it deserves being called MUCH worse!!!

Men (and women) are not possessions to be fought over or 'stolen'. Plenty of happily monogamous people are perfectly capable of turning down blatant offers of sex because they are happy with their partners and basically monogamous.

I do wonder a bit about all these violence-condoning monogamists, though. I have a rather strong suspicion that people like this have been ignoring signs (or indeed clearly spelt-out warnings) that the person they have decided is 'theirs' is not actually very keen on monogamy - or on them.If you use a mixture of sticks and carrots to get a previously happily promiscuous person to 'commit' to you and then spend the rest of your life growling over your prize like a dog over a bone, you are likely to make yourself thoroughly miserable and the person you think you own miserable as well (because he or she, if s/he is genuinely trying to be exclusive or is in fact happy to remain monogamous, will get sick of being spied on and the constant accusations and tantrums - if s/he is not monogamous s/he will have fling after fling and generally say 'Well you knew what I was like').

Macdoodle - Why are you SOOOO fing obsessed about the hurt the OW will cause your DC? Yet. noone seems to have even considered that the hurt is caused by the DH*.

Even if the OW Is a loon, it's the DHs fdault for bringing her near the DC in the first place.

IF your DH shits on you, blame your DH.

And if the OW is a loon, then don't blame her at all, cos she's a loon and that's why she got with your DH!!!

HAribo for someone who is so anti violence that was pretty rude and aggresive
I havent posted on this thread in about 200 posts and havent posted about my DC before are you confused
My XH (note the X please) has paid sorely for his actions - he has lost his family, his wife, his business and daily contact with his DC - all his choice - I really bear the OW malice no longer,I am pretty sure karma will wonder round and bite her on the bum without any help from me!

I'm not certain my husband will never have an affair. My father left my mother when I was 12 for another woman. I know what children go through thanks. Don't make so mny presumptions macdoodle, because you haven't got a fucking clue what anyone else has or hasn't been through.

I just don't think it is right to resort to violence. Nothing will convince me that it is.

The OP isn't in the least bit scared or upset or remorseful about what she did, and she should be.

My ex had numerous affairs at work where he was the boss and the girls fawned over him.I met several of them but never resorted to hitting them As soon as I found out what he had been up to I left.It wasn't their fault god knows what he told them.I would do the same with current dp.We don't own each other and though I would be heartbroken and disappointed the ow would be largely irrelevant as she owes me nothing.Some of the stories my ex told these girls were hilarious

Solidgold - who you calling a "violence-condoning monogamist"??

haribosmummy, a message from one food-named poster to another! I never post on controversial threads like this usually, but I really feel moved to do so. Not to wade into the argument about the rights and wrongs about the OP's actions. But your 17.24 post about your relationship, and the several following that, struck so many bells with me - I too would have written posts such as yours about 7 years ago. Almost down to the wording. And yet...if it does happen to you, the feelings and actions that well up inside, due to the grief, hurt, and the shock of tring to live the new life that you never planned - the things you feel are never what you thought you may feel. I wish you well in your marriage, and it may be one for life, and that's fantastic. But should anything derail it, you may look back at your comments today and realise that a) life throws strange curveballs despite how solid you feel in a relationship and the agreements you have made together and b) it's hard to judge another person's feelings and their response to what happens in their life unless you have walked in their shoes.

Haribo, I meant that my ex-friend deserved a "slap" for her attitude to the wife and DC, her Boss was a contemptible low life in any case.
I don't know if they ended up with each other, I suspect not because if the wife had kicked him out and he had to pay manintenance etc and share custody of their Dc he would hardly have been as exciting a prospect.

I agree that violence is not the answer, but I can understand why someone would resort to that.