I slapped the ow last night and i feel soooo much better!

[ambercat]

thats it really, feel like i have closure now!!

Ginny - sorry, you seem to be making LOTS of judgements about women there.

YOu wouldn't do it, but you think lots of women would????????? I disagree. Most women fall first - whatever the line might be - probably the same sort of line YOU fell for...

And, sorry, but my blaming the woman, you ARE assuming that the man is a dick on legs who can't possibly be held account for his actions.

HIS marriage, HIS wife, HIS bloody responsibility.

My sanity demands that I leave this thread

I'm happy to be a pussy. I'd rather be a pussy than live in the world of 'taking a slap' as if it's a normal, everyday thing.

COurse you would KM...

You don't have a clue.

I'm moving out of this thread now because everybody seems to want to say their bit.

amen to that morris. but then i would not have behaved in a way that wold make another man's wife slap me in public

I think we may be arguing from the same side georgimama. I agree it is wrong to hit and violence is wrong.

I suppose what I'm saying is while I agree it's wrong, I can see why or how it might have happened. That doesn't equate to seeing it as a good thing.

I think Rhubarb has argued that point far more eloquently than me, though.

i think for a while his behavior was led by something other than his rational mind.
Call it what you will - i doubt very much he would have been interested in her if she had kept her legs and mouth closed (except to talk of course). I was easy - it was cheap - all he had to do was tell her a few lies and he could have sex with us both.

Not nice but i can see the attraction - and if you are not made to face up to it why would you?

Trouble is people do get caught up in the fantasy of the affair and cant seem to stop. Even when they know they are doing the wrong thing.

I am not defending him - but i do believe he has done a lot of work on himself and is better prepared to deal with it if it were to ever present itself again.

I do also believe that an affair can 'happen' to anyone and until you have been in the situation you do not know exactly how you would react. I hope i know myself well enough though to not go there.

I'm depressed by this thread, that seemingly intelligent women think all men are simpletons led by their dicks with no control over their own actions, and all "other women" are scheming harlots who will do anything to hook a commitment free shag from a married man.

Look as far as i'm concerned she knowingly slept with a married man, that is wrong and she cannot be suprised that she got a slap! i was furious that she was there and i lost it and it made me feel sooooo much better.

Dh has not got away with it, all the blame has not been piled onto the ow, i am well aware that he is the one that betrayed me and we are dealing with that. But really do some of you think i should have NO anger towards the slag (and she is a slag) who was part of my family and marriage falling apart???!

i think for a while his behavior was led by something other than his rational mind.

I think that is another word for his dick.

Pity SHE didn't keep her legs closed instead of him keping his dick n his pants????

Not HER fault, babe, not her fault

i got slapped once by some mad jealous cow in the bar (and no i was not shagging her husband, tho he had been trying for months and months). he seemed to think he was gods gift and wouldnt believe i could resist him forever..she seemed to think it was my fault that her prick of a husband wouldnt leave me alone
so she slapped me (why not him?)
she didnt get away with it tho

Ambercat I would have done it. And if I was the OW I would have expected it.

No, Ambercat. I think you should save ALL the anger you have for YOUR family breaking down to your husband and the father of the children who YOU are so worried about.

Pity HE didn't seem so worried about the effects when he decided to shag her.

Not her problem at all, AFAIC.

Ambercat no one said you have no right to be angry. You just have no right to hit people. Can you not see the difference?

My grand dad once said of men who stray "if one isn't enough, ten won't be too many." If it hadn't been her, it would have been someone else. At the end of the day your husband betrayed you, she was just there as well.

morriszap - i am sure there are lots of woman still willing to shag him - i didnt make him get the tatoo across his forehead- yet. Unfortunately any woman who wanted to break up my marriage is no friend of mine and i am afraid would be beneath me (note wanting to shag him and break up a marriage are different things - but one can lead to the other).
I just hope he has grown up (yes i did just say that - because i think he was very childish in his thinking) to recognise and know how to react.

If he did it again - it would be all his fault - and i have always said it was his anyway - but i do still have a problem with woman wanting to sleep with married men. It should just be one of those no no's imo.

And, as for her being in a public place and you being furious about that... I think that's totally out of order.

Noone died and made you lord and god of all who gets to tell everyone else where they may or may not go. YOu get to save that for your Dh since he decided to put his dick away.

georgiemama it is depressing , the whole thing about adultary is wrong and depressing. not all women are sceming harlots and if there are women who are unaware the man they are seeing is married they have no blame IMHO.if they find out he's married and still continue to see him , then yes they are scheming harlots.have a thought, why can the wronged party in a divorce sue the person who commited adultary with the spouse for wreaking the marriage,???

mumsnet is going further and further downhill and downmarket. What a hideous post.

"I'm depressed by this thread, that seemingly intelligent women think all men are simpletons led by their dicks with no control over their own actions, and all "other women" are scheming harlots who will do anything to hook a commitment free shag from a married man."

Totally agree there. Not everyone thinks that way though. Thank God.

I have never said it was the ow FAULT.

However we will have to disagree - like it or not the ow does play a part (maybe innocent) but she will be blamed - thats human nature too.

of crouse you should feel angry towards her . and to him. but should that transalate into premeditated violence? i don;t think so.

I am astounded at the number of posters who condone this.

Is there a sliding scale of acceptability for violence then? So if another woman shags your husband it's OK to thump her, but if she only snogs him then you can only chuck a drink at her for example?

I find it incredibly sad that those of us that think it distasteful and wrong are classed as sanctimonius and prim.

I really can't believe that, in 2009, people really label women as scheming harlots out to wreck marriages.

And the poor-ickle-wickle-men-didn't-mean-to-shag-the-nasty-horrible-whore-honest-they-just-fell-into-her.

If your DH cheats on you, blame your DH.

I'm leaving now.

exactly sidge, or maybe pull her hair if she touched his bum.