I slapped the ow last night and i feel soooo much better!

[ambercat]

thats it really, feel like i have closure now!!

If more women said no to married men?what BS.

sgb is saying she is, as are others in saying that they would never ever do that. Well I can only presume they've never been in that situation.

And as for calling the OP 'stupid', 'chavvy' and so on, you don't think that's aggressive?

She was very unwise to post such a thread on Mumsnet. But some posters in their eagerness to climb aboard their moral highground have actually lost it and shown themselves up to be just as childish.

Good point, Georgiemama.

But georgimama if it was an identical situation to that described by the OP (sexes reversed, he would have done the same to the OM, not his wife.

People are getting all worked up about DV. It really isn't comparable.

What I will say..if it was me who had done this..I would have been mortfied and wouldn't be boasting about it. But then I've never been in this situation so I don't know how I would react.

Absolute BS indeed. Bygone, outdated woman-hating guff.

It is not the job of the women of the world to ensure that your DH doesn't stray! It is entirely between the two of you.

Men are adults, not helpless little boys. They are in charge of their own choices.

Sorry, lost a ) there.

Well I'd rather be slapped and have a drink chucked over me than face the hurt and humiliation of being cheated on. One evening ruined compared to the lives of a whole family.
Now I really AM going to make the tea!!

ginny - FFS! I'm surprised you have electricity or a PC you are living in such a distant past!!

Have you considered the Taliban as a good political party to support???????????? If more women learned to say no, less men would stray... So it's all women's fault!!! What a lovely woman you sound.

It's an emotive subject.

Her dh was shagging another woman.
This woman is apparently goading the OP and harrassing her.

That's all we know about this situation. We don't know what the OP has been through, or what happened to the dh or anything about the circumstances leading up to the OW getting slapped.

So it's impossible to say "I would not have done this" - you don't know that.

I'm betting she wishes she never started this thread though!

I know for fact that I would never slap somebody. End of. No matter what the provocation.

I don't need to 'be in that situation' any more then you'd need to 'be in the situation' of somebody who hits their children to know that you yourself would not do that.

I'd fight to protect myself physically if I had to, but to slap somebody in a pub for shagging my DP, nope, no way.

ginny I really have to ask: If you were cheated on, you eally wouldn't blame your DH???????????? You really would lay blame at the woman who was willing to sleep with him???

That really is fucked up. Sorry, but it is.

ive seen a few slaps in pubs - it really is quite entertaining as long as you are far enough away and dont make eye contact. In fact when i have seen a woman come in and pour a pint over the man - he actually got offered more pints once she had gone and it was all rather jolly. But again that is probally the sexual differences again.

I too wouldnt be able to just stand by and watch a violent attack, but we are cautioned not to get involved too arent we.

fgs its entertainment now.bring on the bearded woman!

"If more women said "No" to married men (and questioned the "my wife doesn't understand me" line ) then less husbands would stray."

FFS men are not sexually incontinent little puppy dogs, sniffing around any woman who smiles at them - the grown up ones aren't anyway. Perhaps if women stopped treating them like they are so led by their dicks they can't help themselves then they would stop "straying".

where has ginnny said she wouldnt blame her OH too?
She has just said what a lot of others have said, that there is blame on the ow side sometimes. Of course each case is different.

"People are getting all worked up about DV. It really isn't comparable."

Yes it is. It is exactly the same. Hitting people is either wrong or it isn't.

Start these sorts of moral relativity arguments, and DV itself ends up being viewed by some as something that can be justified in certain circumstances.

To be honest I really hate violence of any sort and have never, ever hit anybody (apart from fighting with my little sister when we were both very much younger).

But I can see how such provocation might just make someone snap.

As I said, would hate myself afterwards though, if I did.

Happywoman, I'll ask this one more time VERY SLOWLY:

WAS THE OW STANDING WITH YOU AT THE ALTAR WHEN YOU MADE YOUR VOWS?????????

unless the answer to that question is YES, then she is NOT to blame.

The happiness of ANY marriage lies solely with the two people IN IT.

If either one of those people decides to fuck about, then they will. And the responsibility for those actions lies totally, utterly and solely with them.

End of.

No, it doesn't georgimama.

Yes hitting people is wrong. This is not the same as DV, which I agree is not justifiable.

OMG - can't believe the way this thread has gone
HappyWoman - they weren't my maggots, honest The counsellor had a field day with my revenge fantasies
Ambercat - you slapped her, you feel better......end of. The ladies on the Glam+Fab thread will be less er sanctimonious.

I wouldn't feel too clever either, but certain things I can see would provoke me to hit.

Anyone hurting my kids.
Anyone attacking my dh.
Anyone attacking anyone else for that matter (I know I shouldn't get involved, but there you go)
My stepdad just looking at me in that way would cause me to slap him.

I'm very protective of the ones I love and care about and I suppose I would resort to physical violence to protect them.

I agree georgimama.

Hitting people (even when they've provoked you) is either wrong or it isn't.

To me, it's wrong.

Agree with GM it is just the same taking out your frustration and anger on someone in a physical sense rather than dealing with your problems yourself.

Actually Haribo - I disagree. Yes of course the married couple have made vows to each other and most of the blame should be attributed to the cheating partner. But is it morally acceptable to have sex with a married person, knowing they are married? No it isn't.