A Rant.. My Bloody DP .... AGAIN Grrrrrrrr

[MyDPIsAPainInTheArse]

Ok i have namechanged for this one
Rant snarl thoughts about murder

This is going to sound really pathetic hence the namechange but bear with me please.

This morning i woke up after having a weird dream about a snake (burmese python, i know cos i used to have one when i was with ExP) i picked it up and put it in a carrier bag (odd) took it home, and it broke into the cage outside and ate my son's ferret (i love this ferret)

I woke up assuming weird dream is to do with me being stressed, and mostly stressed about ExP's recently reinstated contact with DS1. He used to be violent.

So i thought nothing of it, obv you have odd dreams when you are stressed, well i do.

Anyway. DP is working on a site not far from me, and phoned to say he had forgotten something. I drove there to take it to him. He then asked what i was dreaming about last night. So, bemused, and assuming i had said 'don't eat my ferret' or something, i told him.
He said then that i had said "Oh thats a big one, can i play with it as well?"
Then asked me who i was dreaming about in a v accusatory way

I have just had a baby and have been bleeding like billyo since i have NEVER thought about cheating on my DP despite the fact that he has on me, and i have forgiven him.
Its something i would just never do. Ok you can't control a dream, but IMO i would prolly have been dreaming about my DP in that case, i find him very attractive, and i admit i have been feeling very... shall we say frustrated.. can not WAIT till the sodding bleeding stops so i can jump him lol sorry TMI

BUT he has really pissed me off. So as well as this he also told me my breath stank of fags (i am a smoker, he is an ex smoker) then went in the back of the car and said to our DS 6 weeks old.. "Hello son, i'm your daddy. The first one."

Grrrrrrrrr
So then when i left he went to give me a kiss and not wanting to subject him to my ashtray gob i sort of gave him the corner of my mouth/side of my cheek to kiss.
He then chucked a wobbly.

So i got back home, and phoned him to ask, why he is always so fucking nasty (there are other things than this) and he flipped out at me asking who i am shagging so i responded by i promised never to do this ..... throwing at him that the reason he gave up smoking was so he could go and meet this woman WHILE I WAS PG and she didn't like smoking so he had given up, told him it was like he was rubbing my nose in his affair every time he crowed about giving up, and that i was pissed off.

He hung up the phone on me after saying 'whatever'.
I'm just so frikken pissed

I seriously want to strangle him.
Over a bloody dream ffs. And just to top it off i must say the only time i HAVE dreamed about sex with anyone it has always been with him cos despite him being a twat of the highest order sometimes, i do love him and find him very attractive

Sorry this has been long.. and daft. Thanks
Rant Over

You have had such a sad, hard life so far...that was hard to read, you're right, but obviously of took a lot of guts to be able to put of onto words and see it there yourself.

Can you see why you are finding it so hard to break the pattern of abuse in your relationships? It is heart-breaking to think that the very people who most need some lucky breaks in life are actually more likely to keep living more of the same terrible patterns over and over...Love, I hope you can feel supported here at least, and find the strength to get some proper help in RL- you deserve so much better x x x

It didn't kill me. It made me stronger. The only thing that pisses me off is that it was used against me to take DD away.

I learnt from this lot anyway.
My mum was useless.
I am better. Not brilliant, but better.
Thats the first time i have ever said his name when i have talked about it, so i suppose its definately getting better.
I know this is why i put up with DP and others and try to make them better. I still do feel like a little girl sometimes trying to make other people feel better so i do. If they are happy so am i. My kids love me there is no doubt. My DD still fights to come home now nearly 8 years in
Ok i do put up with a lot of crap. I do feel the need to get angry with someone in order to finally write them off. This doesn't make me a bad or stupid person.
I do love my DP. He is just a mega pain in the arse sometimes. But a lot of the time he does mean well and does a lot of things that are good and nice, obv i am not going to post about these.. 'my DP cooked dinner today after a long day at work cos i was too frazzled' does not make a good AIBU thread lol
Joking aside, i know i really need to sit down and talk to him openly and like an adult. I just feel exhausted and hurt tbh. I really thought this time would be different, i would have a happy PG and be happy when i had my baby. Unfortunately it seems to have passed me by again
You make your own luck sometimes. I am the only person who can change or control my life. I am glad of the support i get from here and in RL.
I know sometimes i think i connect too much with people i try to post to on here, and it brings back bad memories, but i feel more able to deal with them now when they arise. I am glad my experiences can help or at least go some way to comforting or warning others.
I am lucky that i had some excellent counselling. The counsellor ended our sessions when i told him i would change nothing in my past, as it has made me the person i am today, and i kind of like myself, i don't think i would change anything, except to grow a bit more of a backbone lol. He also said i was in touch with my emotions and was the most stable person he knew. Coming from a counsellor i don't know if that was a compliment hehe.
I think the most upsetting thing is because i had emotionally unavailable parents, i placed myself in some dangerous situations, desperate as i was for some kindness or emotional warmth. I may still be doing this. To validate myself, you know?
I think (hope) some things about me should act as a warning to others, if anything about me helps just one person, especially a child, i would be happy.
I really do appreciate your replies and caring and thoughtful that they are xx Thanks

I'll check back in tomorrow or soon pet- I want to be able to do your honesty justice with a proper reply and I'm too pissed knackered right now to write much, but I did read that and it touched me. Speak soon x

Some things make you stronger and damage you at the same time though. I know that I learnt a lot and grew as a person when dh has his affair, but it was also deeply damaging to my world view, and made me vulnerable in a way that I wasn't before hand. It damaged him too (without I think the redeeming parts). So your experiences may well have helped to make you the person you are today, with all your insight and thoughtfulness, but they have also left a vulnerability that is open for exploitation. I wonder if you feel responsible for your past in some way and whether you have a wish to heal your dp because that would in some way be healing all those other people who treated you so badly, and make up for your part in their downfall (not that I think you had any part or responsibility whatsoever in their appalling behaviour).

You must have a very deep need to be loved and perhaps you treasure the good times more than most people. But I really agree with everyone else, you need to step away from this relationship. It's not good for you, it will be very bad for your children, and to be honest it is probably very bad for your dp as well. It really isn't good for anyone to have their poor behaviour rewarded, so although I can totally understand your wish to make things work, I think you should stop. One of the things I was told by a counsellor which really resonated for me was that I was not responsible for my dh, or his behaviour. We all have our own paths to follow, we all make our own choices. He has a choice as to whether he treats other people badly or well. You can't help him with that. No amount of love will change that because love on it's own just isn't enough.

Stercus, you have clearly suffered a great deal in your life and the people who should have protected you let you down terribly. Can you see that you are in danger of repeating the pattern with your own children?

I think it is important to try to understand why you told your counsellor that you wouldn't change any of what happened to you.

You say it made you the person you are, but the person you are would always have been the same bright, kind, warm person that you are now, even without the abuse.

I have a few questions for you.

Do you feel that you deserved to be damaged like this?
If so, why? Really try to address this - take your time.
Do you still feel you wouldn't change any of your past?

I get the impression that you may be rather more ready to explore all this will a professional who can really help you. I strongly urge you to get a referral from your GP and give the counselling another shot. I suspect your old counsellor felt you were unwilling or not ready to really do this at that time.

In the meantime, keep posting. We are all here to listen to whatever you want to say.

you say, 'I think the most upsetting thing is because i had emotionally unavailable parents, i placed myself in some dangerous situations, desperate as i was for some kindness or emotional warmth. I may still be doing this. To validate myself, you know?'

you are doing the same thing to your children now, they are in a dangerous situation, with parents who are emotionally in a different place.. you beacsue you are bieng abused, and him because he is an abuser

you are letting history repeat itself

as BoF has said, those things you say are good , are just normal, run of the mill expectations, nothing special, as it were, but what peopel do in a partnership

it does not make up for the abuse

I totally agree

Have taken some steps today
Brag Post later when not holding DS2

Hi gimme a min or two to type it out lol

I chucked him out thats the main thing
Well He threatened to leave n i said "Don't let the door hit you in the arse on the way out"
He is currently sulking at his sisters.

Brb

Right.
So he got the email. And has chucked a wobbly about the bits which weren't to his liking (non arse kissing bits)
So i took the piss and got the sticker chart out that i did last week at someone wo shall remain nameless' suggestion
He threatened to leave moaning that he will never live down not getting me an xmas present, ect, and i told him that was it, he had pushed me over the edge, and proceeded to rip his balls off.
He tells me i waste money, i said, but he doesn't seem to mind if its spent on something for him.
The xmas present i wouldn't have minded, if he hadn't said he could not afford to get kids pj's and then brought his nephew an xbox game.
"I brought the pj's cos we are a family, in a family the kids come first..so the kids got pj's and my DS didn't get the dragon model he wanted as pj's were needed more"

(I did buy DS the dragon in the end i just didn't tell DP i had a stash of emergency cash)
Well he shut his mouth then, and i stomped off saying "No, you won't fucking live it down."
So then he started following me round the house asking me who i was shagging referring to the dream from the other night.
Well, i replied, as i said oooo thats a big one can i play with it i obviously can NOT have been talking about your chipolata can i.
And if i had been dreaming about you, (thanks to whoever gave me this idea) i would have said 'Get away from me you manipulative lying cheating scrounging bastard'
At this point he flounced off in a huff.

So now i have had texts from his sister, and brother, who are both lovely btw, and a long phonecall with BIL who told me he has seen the email and told DP i am the best thing that has ever happened to him but he hopes we stay seperate as DP doesn't respect me, doesn't appreciate what he has, is bordering on cruel with everything he does to me, DP apparently not impressed by this and has gone upstairs for a sulk, i told BIL to tell DP thank you for leaving its the happiest i have been in ages and i feel like someone has lifted a huge weight off me. BIL can not believe that DP cheated on me he says he is disgusted and told DP so..and especially that it was while i was PG and very angry that DP used to leave me at work not caring if i got back home safely.
Well i told him that was in the past, i have done my best to try and stay with DP but i am at the end of my tether with him. Told him about the sticker chart and that i had put black x's all over it lol apart from yesterday when DP was actually nice and cooked tea.
BIL says he wants to try the sticker chart idea to make DP behave at work as well
I laughed and told him not to worry and that i was ok.
Then i put down the phone and cried.
What i need to do now is get angry and STAY that way so that frigging toad would be the last person on earth i think about if the world was about to end lol.

Oh, love, you're being so brave. Please, PLEASE stay strong. Could you go away somewhere for a little while? xx

think you need to stay CALM and FOCUSED sa.... there is an awful lot of high drama / huge emotions / love and hate going on... so much high feeling and adreneline... please take time to think seriously and properly what you want for yourself and your dcs and how you are going to achieve this. if you have decided to seperate from him and to end this abusive relationship then please get yourself some proper advice now about how to safeguard yourself and dcs. women's aid would be a good place to start....

Thanks. I feel upset but relieved.
I know i was about to do it because everything i have posted on here the past few days has made me more and more angry.
I started it off as a moan but it got deeper and then i realised. My baby is seeing this crap. And when he is here both me and DS are stressed to the point where, DS is a lovely baby during the day but the minute he walks in and starts 'victor meldrew'ing' we are both pissed off, DS refuses to settle or feed..

I really wanted to talk it through with him and hope it got better but he pissed me off when he moaned about the email.. i put my heart into that, i know everyone here didn't like it, but i put a lot into it, not just heart and effort but pretty much everything i had.

So bollocks to him the dickhead.
I hope he does his usual thing and it takes a couple of days to sink in what a nob he has been.. and this time i won't be here with arms open wide. He can sod off.
He won't ever find anyone else like me, he thinks he can, he's welcome to try.

Thank God this is my own house and thank fk i am on maternity leave so i don't have to go to work to see his moody evil cheating lying dickhead face.

I'm ok.. really lol.

I did write this to post here before this happened and copied it so i'll post it anyway. What a difference a day makes huh lol.

I do feel a bit vulnerable, yes, my world was truly ripped apart by this person i had told that he was the only person apart from my kids i had ever truly loved.
But i no longer feel responsible for him cheating. Hard as he tried to blame it on me.
I'm proud to say I never have cheated and I never would, I know what it feels like to have it happen because I had every partner i have had do it to me and I wouldn't want to give that 'bottomless-pit feeling' to anyone. I wonder what it would have been like now if i had stayed split up from him when i was PG. I had just stopped crying myself to sleep every night when he came back, and i think i was just so pleased i didn't think what he might have been up to (stoooopid) nor did i think, hold on, i'm soooo over you, fuck off. I had missed him so much. Of course he was so bloody nice when he came back

I know this isn't love, not for him anyway.
The man i thought i fell in love with, never existed. It was all lies. No matter what i do or did, even if my ex had never phoned me that once, he would have cheated. I know that. It hurts admitting it. It feels like i am not enough. Like i tell other people on here, don't be like me, always wondering, could i do better? Am i good enough? Will he always be looking for another woman? My mind says i'm not to blame for him cheating but my heart says otherwise.

He had a rough home life, and a lot of shit relationships, and he obv just wants to know that a lot of people love him, well because women are more open than men, what better than to surround yourself with adoring females? And if you happen to fall naked on top of one or two of them where's the harm in that as long as nicki doesn't find out?

I had a really rough time as a kid. I do not need to surround myself with people who adore me. People just naturally like me anyway. I act just as i am and i wouldn't change a thing, except maybe that my DD was abused, but my life i would never change because all the bad experiences have made me who i am.
And i LIKE who i am. And so do other people. I don't need to search for these, they radiate towards me simply because i am me, and i am a nice caring thoughful person.

I chose not to break up with him at the time i found out but I have to tell you I felt so inadequate and I doubt I will regain my confidence anytime soon. It really does feel horrible. I told him when i had him back that i would never seek revenge for it. And tbh i never have. I don't check up on him, i believe him and i trust him to the best of my ability but its wearing thin now.

The bottom line: This person does not love me like i deserve to be loved ? and all i can do is recognise him for what he is, for what the relationship is, and spare myself another time being cheated on. Because i know he has done it before, if the modus operandi was the same as the one he went to see in wales. He argues with me, leaves, stays away for about two weeks, then comes back and muggins here lets him do it!!

Cheaters, i was told, are very insecure and try to shore up that insecurity by cheating. They're like small children who always want that shiny new toy, but are too greedy and selfish to tell the old toy they don't want to play with them any more. They want both.

Yes, he is greedy and selfish.

And he tbh has scarred me for life along with the other two twats i went out and stupidly had kids with (i do not regret any one of my kids... just the crappy choice of sperm donor )
I don't want to be the type of person who jumps ship at the first sign of a leak but fuck me, thinking about it, he has stolen the whole of the bottom of the boat hasn't he lol.

Well now he will find out what its like not to be 'the one'
Now i've fucked him off.
Forgiveness is earned, not awarded. Just because he says he is sorry doesn't make it right. It's just a word. The actions of being sorry need to accompany the word.
And he hasn't really been sorry. He's been nasty, evil, twisted, has found time to complement other women but not me, sworn at me, sure, he was great when i had the baby but hell, so he should have been cos for the rest of the time he's been an utter wanker.
We have only stayed together cos i have done all the work.
It could only heal if we both worked hard and only i have worked hard, he doesn't give a shit about me. He hasn't helped to repair the breach of trust. He still has his tagged account, he still has the Ow x however many on MSN, he still has his Facebook set to single and looking for another slag woman.

He put mine and the babys life at risk. From sexual diseases.
And....

Cyber sex? How can i feel good about that ffs. He would throw me and the baby away for fucking cyber sex?
He should have just done me a favour and let me go and find someone who loves me so much that they do not need cheap thrills by having cyber or any other form of sex. I hope he will regret this mistake for the rest of his life. But i doubt it. He has no regrets. Doesn't care about anyone but himself.
I wonder if he would have come home, had i not found out, and been doing that online while i was in hospital having just given birth to his baby? I wonder if he would have done it while i am sitting next to him feeding his baby?

Every day is and was like a nightmare rollercoaster of emotions that i can't get off of. Sometimes i'm afraid that i won't live through this, and sometimes, i wish i wouldn't, it is so painful.
I do not hate DP but i hate what he has done to me. I hate that he betrayed my trust, my love, and our relationship. When he made love to me, or told me he loved me, or calls me sweet names, i thought they were for me and me alone. When he knew he wanted other women why didn't he just leave me alone to find someone who would want me, and be faithful to me, and make me happy? Why create a baby with me if he knew he probably wouldn't be there to help me raise our son? I loved him totally and my heart is screaming and its hard to breathe through the pain he has caused me. I know it is affected our baby, this stress, and i know it affects him now so i try not to feel it, not to suffer it.
I cry at times because i do not understand why, after everything, i can not seem to bring myself to hate him. I will look into my sons eyes every day and feel hurt that he did this to me while i was pregnant with my son. I will see him in my sons eyes, and the things my baby does that will remind me of the good that is in his daddy somewhere. I want to tell him that i forgive him. I don't need his help to be the best i can be, to be a good mother to his baby, i feel sorry for him because he does not know what he lost in me when i found out what he had done to me. I feel like he has stolen my life, he stole my life and i can not get it back.

Don't get me wrong, I love forgiveness. I am a huge fan of being forgiven, and making up and all that. Where I fail to understand is why we hold on so dearly to the people that hurt us so. Man cheats on woman, treats her like dirt, then within a year, professes he's sorry, it was a mistake, and he loves her more than anything and that he would never do it again.

"I'm sorry, what was that? You broke my heart and want a round two? I don't believe the anniversary has even come around. Oh, but you've changed so much within that miniscule amount of time. I tell you what.. I not only forgive you, I'll spread my chest open wide for you to do it again. I love you. Shoot me again and again."
Wake up. There's something better out there than a constant battle of hearts, a war of who love who. There is hope beyond the pain, beyond the torture of risking a heart for the sake of love and forgiveness. There are people out there, good folks that want nothing better than to make you smile, make you laugh. They want to make you feel loved, not to make love to you. There are people who's only goal is to make others around them happy. Who would rather die than cheat, who aren't even tempted to cross the line of destruction, who know where they stand and that is by the ones they love. These people, these great folks are the ones who you can lean on, never worry that they have hurt you, never worry about risking your heart because they are not willing to hurt it. These people don't get a second chance because they never screw up their first chance.

Me? I woke up one day, went about the usual things, loved my partner, went to work, felt his baby moving, went home, loved him even more, waved goodbye to him when he went off out (to a friends birthday??) turned on the pc, opened an email off someone, and all of a sudden my life as i knew it was gone. I put my heart and soul into this, 'us' i lived to be a girlfriend to him and looking forward to being a mum to his baby..i put my everything into it and it turned out to all be a lie on his behalf.
I feel i don't know who he is at all any more.
I mean, if he could do all these things, and i never knew, then what else might he have done?
Its terrifying to find out that someone you spent nearly 3 years with, sleeping in the same bed every night, is a complete and total stranger. He says he knows he loves me, and he's sorry he 'hurt' me. It seems like such an insignificant thing to say. 'Hurt' is not even close. He has destroyed me.
I sent him a text on that night, when i was babysitting, and he did not even bother to reply, yet the online conversations from the same night were quite long and detailed, indicating effort put in with these girls online that he did not want to put into replying to me?
I know it sounds odd, being upset about a simple text in the midst of all this, but hey, nothing really makes sense any more.
I wish he would just tell me the truth. It hurts even more being kept in the dark. How many more are there? How many more women...i have messages from about six so far...what number am i on a scale of one to ten in the gullible idiot stakes lol. Yes even when he was lying there next to her i could not think of anyone else. I was in bed with my arms round his shirt missing him like hell and wondering why he left me, why i never do anything right by him, wishing he would just come to me and i would have taken him back right there and then, sobbing my heart out into his shirt wishing it was him, awake, feeling his baby moving inside me, until the light came the following morning...and he was lying, probably with his arms around her, probably having done other stuff i don't know about, and not thinking about me at all. As she said, and sent the message to prove, he told her he sleeps in the buff, and "she would have to put up with his body right up the back of her", and to think about the "fun they would have trying to get to sleep".
To read the kind of things he was saying to them makes me feel terrible and i cried and cried until i was sick when i read them. That karen said he showed her him masturbating on webcam and she did the same. God only knows who else is going to tell me that he did the same with them. humiliation is not even coming close on this one. My partner shares his body with other women... and watches them doing the same thing, so obviously he found her sexually attractive, and they were comfortable enough with each other to do this, and it escalated to a point where he argued with me on purpose so he could arrange to go and meet her.

He even took the piss by asking me to bring his clothes to work..the ones he knew he was going to see another woman in.

He watched me dying inside every day. He knew i missed him and wanted him back, i made that very clear. Yet instead of making the effort to do that, he drove all the way to hers with the intention of meeting her for sex. So why is it that he is the first person i have chosen to try and work it out with? I wonder if he realises, or even cares, that while he was in bed with her, i was cuddling his shirt in bed and breaking my heart wishing he was there?
I want to ask him to tell me from the minute he got to her house, what happened, what he said, what they did. But i know if i did, and he actually told me the truth, it would torture me for life. I know i keep on reading the emails i got from these different women, mortified that they didn't know he has a pregnant girlfriend, telling me the conversations that took place, the promises he made to them of coming over to see them, some of them had the same messages on the same nights. So now i feel shit because i am so crap that he didn't want to replace me with just one other woman, he wanted more. So, again i ask myself, why i am still with him. why i choose to forgive, knowing as i do that he will no doubt do this again, probably just covering his tracks better?

I did not deserve this from this man or any man. Especially not the father of my unborn child. Sometimes love overrides our thinking skills. But i know now i haven't forgiven, not really. I say i have, sometimes i FEEL i have. But i cannot forget. HE LEFT ME AND* OUR UNBORN BABY . For a sodding legover

A good person doesn't do bad things to the people they love.

I just can't forget it and it seems every day gets worse. I think about it almost every minute of every day. I'm depressed and crying all the time when he is not around, and when he is around I'm really just kind of ...numb.
I have had enough. I am GLAD he is gone.

This is great i have just read it before posting it and now i feel even more pissed off. He better not show up on my doorstep crying lol.
Might do something i won't regret (places bucket of mop water ready underneath bedroom window)

it's not an easy thing to do sa... have you decided this is the end of the relationship?? you sound v v hurt (not suprisingly) despite the jokey tone and have a lot on your plate with a tiny baby.... please take time to be kind to yourself and some space to properly think things through. i am worried for you that you will be sucked back into the drama of it all otherwise which would be carrying on the destructive cycle you are stuck in with him....

can you get some rl support?? would you consider going back to counselling?? you have such a difficult history that i cant beleive you wouldnt benefit from some more help. please think about it....

good luck. stay strong.

posted before reading your v long post... will read now. meant to say too dont just be angry, allow yourself to feel sad and uposet too.... you had high hopes of this relationsghip once i think and have been badly let down (again)..., that is upsetting and sad.

oh sa. i'm at a bit of a loss what to say really. just a few thoughts really.....

this is not your fault...

you will not be able to make healthy choices about men / relationships until you address the serious issues in your previous relationships / childhood...

your love for your dcs is v apparent. you owe it to them to sort things out in a way that allows them to be happy and secure

i dont say this to bully / frighten you but if ss knew the half of this relationship they would be concerned for you dcs (and for you) given your past history of relationships....

Well done you! And a hug too...

Thank you.

Yes i know what SS would think of this relationship.
That he is an adult and its not my place to be babying him.
I don't know what i have decided atm whether its the end or not.. to me, it is, because as i said i put everything i had left into that letter hoping for the right kind of - sort of in the right direction response ...
And got the opposite.
I did have high hopes for the relationship but that was before i realised i got a twat in a nice kind bloke disguise.
And i have got more and more annoyed at myself every time i read this and i realise its ME... I sound like a prime target for anyone with a victim radar ffs.
Posting here about when i was younger as well and realising that i would be afraid to confide that to my DP, not for the reaction i would get but for the lack of..I think he thinks he's the 'only one' to have had a shit life and isn't interested in anyone elses..
Anyway. I woke up this morning, DS1 was at school, and DS2 was happily dreaming away in my bed, i come downstairs, pick up the phone and there's a missed call.. off DP. So i phone him to get "Oh you have finally woken up have you..well i have forgotten my flask and i have no money for dinner oh and i have read that email off you and i'm not very happy"

I dropped his flask off and some money, he ripped my tits off bawling and hooting at me in the car, i sat there taking it, then pointed out i wasn't halfway down the street, i was, in fact, in the same car, so there was no need for all the shouting.
Then i told him the money i had given him was all i could afford but that i was going to use chb to get some paint to make the HS&L more presentable (its a mess lol)
Cue the moaning about money which he always does..
Which continued when he came home. Now i don't tell him how to spend his..i don't ask him for any, but i began to resent him blowing a gasket about DS1 losing 20 quid and me spending a lot on clothes for DS2 i have tbh gone a wee bit OTT but he's my BABY so who cares??
....Yet when i am happily shelling out on the latest xbox game to keep my rowdy toddler DP happy, he's all smiles and sweetness n light.

So it all came down around my ears and like some screaming banshee i informed him exactly what i thought of him. ATM i am v upset and maybe wishing i hadn't said some of the things i did, DS1 was upstairs and DS2 was asleep so i said some naughty words and then he went.
He has left me with the car though which is bloody unusual.
Probably expecting me to pack it lol.
Well i am going to be painting hsl tomorrow so i won't have time Shame.

ooo..on a different note i have posted new pics (or will be in a min) of DS2
Have a nosy

Keep going SA, I am in awe of you - really. Take this opportunity to cut him out and get some self respect back. Well done sweetheart x

Reality (+ everyone else )
Thank you. I cut and copied that post you did and sent it to him.. the listen up one lol.

I am just going to let him sit in his own crap for a while.
I feel soooooo good this morning. Woke up next to DS2 smiling and happy. Actually FELT like getting out of bed
Going to keep occupied now with decorating in between baby feeding and nappy changes lol.
I know he will try to come back, last time we had a really big row and he left, he let himself in and started doing DS2's room (before he was born) and we were just both quiet with each other until one day we just looked at each other and i started laughing and hugged him and said thank you for doing the baby's room.
But you are all right.. i am praising him up for things he should just be.. 'doing' naturally.
I know i do this as i know it doesn't come naturally to him..i still feel sorry for him. But like i told BIL its not my job to fix him.
I have a baby already, i don't need someone elses created monster to deal with too.
Thank you all. I am still at 'angry' stage which is helpful. I will make it to the weekend. And this time, he won't be able to send me creeping texts as i don't have a mobile lol.
DS1 is chuffed he has the use of a new xbox elite hehehehe