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Original poster

Being a "high end" sex worker and what it means/involves

404 replies

OFFS · 02/03/2009 03:16

I have another thread going, in which dittany has suggested that I am a male fantasist, and therefore a liar. She says this because I have said that I am a prostitute, and generally enjoy my work, though it is not without problems. I have started this thread so that those of you who have questions about "high end" (SBG's phrase, not mine) prostitutes can ask me, directly, any questions you might have.

Please note that I am not a street-worker, I do not work in a brothel, and I have no pimp. My clients approach me via email - I do not hang out in hotel bars, and I require at least 24 hours notice of an appointment. I have no knowledge or personal experience of these other aspects of sex work.

I choose which clients I see, and can walk out at any time. I am not trafficked or abused, and have never had a violent client in eight years. I pay my taxes like any other self-employed businesswoman. I do not have any addiction to any illegal drugs, and I always use condoms with my clients. I have regular check-ups at my local GUM. While I have no direct knowledge of parlour/sauna/brothel work, I do have trusted prostitute friends with that experience, and I will do my best to furnish the information you require.

Please also note that I am not qualified or experienced enough to discuss women who are trafficked, abused, drug-addicted or so forth. I can, and am willing, to discuss my own life - I am not responsible for others.

OP posts:
Original poster
OFFS · 02/03/2009 23:42

expatinscotland, it's up to you what you believe, of course, but do you not think if I were inventing a character I'd make her slightly more glam and sexy than a middle-aged mother of two? And slightly more adventurous?

IME when men try to write about whores, they use derogatory language and have her gasping and begging for harder, faster, bigger. But hey.

shrugs shoulders

OP posts:
warthog · 02/03/2009 23:42

so another question:

what do you do if you REALLY don't feel like shagging someone? do you ever say 'sorry, can't do this - no charge' and walk out?

Original poster
OFFS · 02/03/2009 23:45

Bugger, that'd be SAAFE.

OP posts:
hobbgoblin · 02/03/2009 23:45

tsap - there are worrying parallels there (though I can't claim to have been totally unaware of them) between the situation you describe with your flat and the situation I have been in before.

Does compartmentalising sex in this way indicate self esteem issues, whether related to previous [sexual] abuse or not?

Original poster
OFFS · 02/03/2009 23:48

warthog I have done that twice, yes. The first chap scared me by sticking his tongue down my throat before I'd even got my coat off. He insisted I take £100 travel expenses and apologised profusely. The second was just a twat, honestly thought I'd take half my fee up front and then drive him round the countryside in the morning looking for an ATM. He was a newbie to WGs and his head was up his arse.

OP posts:
twinsetandpearls · 02/03/2009 23:49

It is not something I would do now, I suppose there were self esteem issues on my part. I did start out really loving this person but then fell out of love but still loved my lifestyle. I was not a very nice person back then to be honest.

dittany · 02/03/2009 23:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

warthog · 02/03/2009 23:51

last question: does the gfe include sex?

thanks very much for talking to me.

Original poster
OFFS · 02/03/2009 23:55

warthog yes, usually blow-job (not to completion - see I'm really am vanilla ) and sex in whatever positions, kissing, cuddling, chat before and after, and between rounds.

And I'm off to snuggle up to DH. Thanks for all your interest.

OP posts:
Original poster
OFFS · 02/03/2009 23:55

PS Some WGs offer nagging, too.

OP posts:
MsHighwater · 02/03/2009 23:56

If being a sex worker really were nothing to be ashamed of, I think the OP would have no problem with her children, neighbours, wider family, etc, knowing what she does. She has said that what she does is not illegal, so why does she hide it?

I'm really astonished at the level of support there is for this lifestyle (which I, too, think the OP is far from being as content with as she wishes us to think). How many women on this thread would be as supportive about prostitution if they were responding to a poster whose husband was a regular customer of someone like the OP?

warthog · 02/03/2009 23:57

thanks for being so open and happy to answer questions. i am really glad to have had this opportunity. hope you work things out with your dh

dittany · 03/03/2009 00:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

anothersexworker · 03/03/2009 00:22

Namechanger for obvious reasons!!

OFFS, years ago, I also worked as an 'escort', with the support of my partner. I thought I was unique!
Basically it was to keep a roof over our heads or we would have been unable to pay the mortgage.
My partner at the time, wanted to work, but was totally unable to due to a sudden and debilitating illness, we nearly lost everything. We didn't have the issue of sex between us though, as he couldn't.
I did enjoy it sometimes and was always treated very well, although it was a means to an end. I was working full time as well, but it just wasn't enough money.
I stopped as soon as I didn't need to do it anymore. I have always kept it a secret and now have a secure lifestyle, but I think in a way its made me a stronger person and I just had to do it at the time.
The difference is though is that i am ashamed, thus the namechange. My current DP is such a moral person, im sure he would leave me if he ever found out. Im sure my family would disown me also.
I guess I just wanted to unload and let you know your not alone!

BitOfFun · 03/03/2009 00:24

Dittany, have you read "Female Chauvinist Pigs" by Ariel Levi? I really enjoyed it, and I reckon it would be right up your street if you look it up. Not being sarcastic, btw. I disagree with you on some things, but agree on others.

supersalstrawberry · 03/03/2009 00:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
OFFS · 03/03/2009 02:53

MsHighwater, I'm sure you can garner enough empathy to understand perfectly well why I don't tell friends, family etc. Prostitution is not illegal - please go check your law books - but it's still not socially acceptable, and when dittany and friends tell us we're all abused, exploited, don't know our own minds etc, it doesn't really help. I do not deny, and have not at any point on this thread, that many WGs are abused and exploited - but so are office workers with bosses who offer promotion for a blowjob, women working in the crappiest "caring" jobs for minimum wage, and so, yawn, tedium, on. Women don't have anything like equality in this society, why is it that the only "profession" where women outearn men doing the same work is so reviled?

anothersexworker, thank you for your courage and honesty. I also namechanged for this, it'll be ever so much fun watching the people on this thread respond to the "other me" on others.

supersalstrawberry, I keep mine below the level at which I'd be liable for VAT. How much do you earn?

OK, that's pretty much 24 hours, I'll retire this nic now and bid you all goodnight. It's been fun.

OP posts:
piscesmoon · 03/03/2009 07:17

It is not socially acceptable for a good reason-you are selling yourself. I don't call it equality to sell yourself to a man.At least a woman doing a caring job for a 'crappy wage' can be proud that she is of immense value to society. I think that bathing an old lady who can't manage by herself is something anyone can be proud of-having sex with a man (however vile)just because he has the money and wants to is not something to be proud of. It may make you equal in terms of earning power but in the transaction the man is the one with the power.

piscesmoon · 03/03/2009 07:26

I was impressed with the person on here a few months ago who called prostitution the 'world's oldest oppression'-I find it sad that women who resort to it call it equality-we are in the 21st century and they are still being oppressed by men!

ssd · 03/03/2009 07:54

good posts piscesmoon

LucyEllensmummy · 03/03/2009 07:58

What i can't get my head around is this - The OP clearly states she is happy with her choice - but you lot think you know better. This is mumsnet - not OFFS' mumsnet!!

I think it was a chance to get an intersting insight - but the mary whitehouse brigade couldn't have that could they!

ssd · 03/03/2009 08:11

SHE'S NOT HAPPY

she hides what she does from her own children, imagine doing something you feel is so wrong you can't tell your own kids what you do to pay for holidays and nights out

and her comment regarding "the crappiest care jobs" speaks volumes

I don't believe for a minute this poster is genuinely trying to let us know how happy she is having sex with strangers who pay her then going home to her dh and kids and struggling to keep this seedy, massive part of her life under wraps

CoteDAzur · 03/03/2009 08:14

I've spoken to quite a few women working independently in the sex industry and OFFS sounds very real.

ssd · 03/03/2009 08:14

and TBH I can't understand why she is being asked so many questions

do you do this/that etc etc?

imagine any sex act you can think of then imagine a man with enough money to pay a woman willing/desperate enough to do it

simple enough

MrsMattie · 03/03/2009 08:17

A prostitute who doesn't swallow. Now I really do think you are making this all up...