Being a "high end" sex worker and what it means/involves

[OFFS]

I have another thread going, in which dittany has suggested that I am a male fantasist, and therefore a liar. She says this because I have said that I am a prostitute, and generally enjoy my work, though it is not without problems. I have started this thread so that those of you who have questions about "high end" (SBG's phrase, not mine) prostitutes can ask me, directly, any questions you might have.

Please note that I am not a street-worker, I do not work in a brothel, and I have no pimp. My clients approach me via email - I do not hang out in hotel bars, and I require at least 24 hours notice of an appointment. I have no knowledge or personal experience of these other aspects of sex work.

I choose which clients I see, and can walk out at any time. I am not trafficked or abused, and have never had a violent client in eight years. I pay my taxes like any other self-employed businesswoman. I do not have any addiction to any illegal drugs, and I always use condoms with my clients. I have regular check-ups at my local GUM. While I have no direct knowledge of parlour/sauna/brothel work, I do have trusted prostitute friends with that experience, and I will do my best to furnish the information you require.

Please also note that I am not qualified or experienced enough to discuss women who are trafficked, abused, drug-addicted or so forth. I can, and am willing, to discuss my own life - I am not responsible for others.

I also think it's wrong to start a thread just because someone dared to question you. Dittany is entitled to her views.

If you want to talk about being a Sex Worker then that's fine, go ahead. But don't slate others if they disagree with you. That's bad form. Seems to me that you practically jumped on Dittany on the other thread, and now this one, it doesn't look too good to me.

well yeah, now you come to mention it dittany - after reading this i think i'll go and tout my wares down the harbour. For me its just about hearing about a different way of life - its not for me, but it doesnt have to be! The same as i like to hear about what nurses do at work, its interesting, but i dont want to be a nurse.

I do have many many concerns about prostitution, but i am grown up enough that if a prostitute says to me, i enjoy what i do, then i believe them.

I was actually propositioned by a prostitute once - she was very full on about it and seemed happy enough, although the set up she described sounded dire, id heard about it and let me tell you, even though i was a niave 18 year old who thought she knew better than everyone else, wasn't averse to sleeping around - i run a fucking mile!!

dittany?n I think you are ok with this debate aren't you? after all we all like to put our pov across, you can handle yourself.

We don't always agree but yes, you are exactly entitled to your opinion.

I don't think we should 'demonise' prostitutes.

I do think that the vast majority of men who pay for sex are very far from being sad, lonely, innocent old men in search of an 'advanced form of masturbation'.

The 'high end' of prostitution is a tiny, tiny part of a huge and seedy industry that debases everything good about human relationships, and paints a horrible, false image of women and female sexuality.

I find it utterly depressing, actually.

Fair point on the dated comment Dittany.

But imo dismantleing the profession won't work. It will only force those who are in a desperate situation further underground and thus put them in more danger.

If brothels and escorts were legalised and controlled and sex workers registered and given suppport, like in certain parts of Aus, then it could be made more illegal for the men who visit street workers and since they have other places they could go legally i.e. escorts/brothels then you would greatly reduce the demand for the street worker, who would then with help and support hopefullly turn her life around. Or at the very least work in a brothel where she is safer.

You sound very angry about it all Mrsmattie. What's it to you? There's a market, and women like the OP fill that market.

Her body, her business. How judgemental and frankly, rude.

Just saw your saafe link, offs,
and they have a forum, too.
good, will do some background reading
before asking you

What a bizarre post!@Serendipity.

I feel strongly that the world of prostitution is a nasty, anti-female one - yes.

I don't deny what the OP says (her life, her experiences) or the right of any woman to do what she has to do/wants to do - but I can and will have my opinion on it.

I have known several people who work in the sex industry. For years I lived in an area plagued by curb crawlers and street prostitutes. Oh yeh, and I'm a woman and a human being. I think that makes me qualified to comment.

It does make me angry to think of women being exploited and used (not the OP specifically, but certainly the vast majority of prostitutes). If that makes me rude, so be it.

I also think that the glamourisation of prositution - all this Belle du Jour / Pretty Woman stuff - is not the reality of the vast majority of sex workers.

End of chat, really.

Question for those who wouldn't feel so hurt and betrayed if their OHs paid for sex with a prostitute rather than had an affair.

Would you feel happier if they were paying a 'high end' prostitute rather than a street corner one? I mean - what's the difference?

"dittany?n I think you are ok with this debate aren't you? after all we all like to put our pov across, you can handle yourself"

I am sure Dittany is more than able to 'handle herself' but as I said in bith threads these postings from the OP smell of a deliberate attempt to drag up issues that he/she knows will cause Dittany to respond and then defend. It all seems quite underhand.

Either the OP is genuine and had no intention to hold Dittany and her opinion up to scrutiny, or they knew exactly what they were doing and planned it. I hope it's the former because the latter is just mean and pointless.

'I think Dittany's point is that anyone working in the sex industry willingly is fuelling a trade which causes great suffering to a lot of people and is helping to make acceptable the view that women's bodies are there to be bought and sold. I think she's got a point.'

I didn't see Dittany's original point but if this is it, then I agree. If someone freely works in the sex industry they are doing it on the backs of all those poor girls and women who have no choice.
Which ever way you try and justify it you are selling yourself to someone else.
I would legalise it all,have regular health checks, get rid of the pimps, get girls onto drug rehab schemes, find alternative employment for the poor foreign workers who have been duped or sold, and make sure that all the rest payed full tax on all their earnings.

I don't think there is any difference between a high class sex worker or a street corner drug addict, the only difference is that one can charge more than the other-there is no difference in the work.

Good point Seashells.

I disagree with the posters who are criticising the OP for starting this thread, although I wouldn't have named dittany (I won't bold the names ) personally. I think this thread has been started to address wider issues around prostitution, as the original one asking for advice on a relationship issue was hijacked to debate concerns more generally, and I think it is poor form to disrespect an OP's expressed request for that not to happen. I don't think that starting a other thread where the debate can take place is as rude as jumping in when you've been asked not to, IMO...

OFFS, can I ask what provision you make to deal with clients who may turn nasty? Do you have any security or vetting process?

This is too weird.... OP you sound like a journo to me. If you're not then you could always consider a career change.

I think it is a weird thread-it isn't something that I would wish to ask questions about.

The OP has said she is known to MNHQ at her working email address, so I guess if people are doubting her authenticity, they are the ones to ask. Or don't follow the thread if you are still dubious. This isn't like the emotional vampire trolls who are inviting people to make "confessions", and I really can't see anyone being lured into prostitution on the basis of anything said here, so I don't think it's important or useful in this case to yell troll to warn other posters off. If some people want to discuss this, I don't see why they shouldn't.

BitOfFun while I get the FIOFO idea of if you don't like it then don't read it, it is all a bit weird. There was no need to really start this thread particularly as the OP said they didn't want to have a big old discussion about it.

But hey, I suppose you are right. I won't read it but not because I feel like I need to warn other posters off but because I don't think the OP is genuine.

BOF, anyone can set up an email account in any name. That wouldn't be enough to convince me. Anyway, I wasn't having a pop at the OP, apart from the surrealness of this thread. I think she writes very fluidly, she writes like a journo so if she ever wants to give up being a WG she could try writing (but not about being a WG, I'm a bit bored of the whole Belle De Jour etc etc type blogs)

Mrsmattie, you of course have a opinion as valid as anyone else. I just don't think that your opinion should entitle you to feel that you can speak to the OP in such a manner.

Just because you're clearly against the sex industry doesn't mean that it's workers should be treated with any less respect than anyone else.

I am sure that everyone has "ishoos" -it always seems a funny thing to say!
For a lot of women it is a life of utter misery, so I don't think it is fair for someone to dress it up as 'glamorous'. It is very sordid to sell yourself-like a piece of meat-to the highest bidder, whatever the price.

Speak in what manner?

Sorry, me-no-understandy.

I do think that all this 'but I wear La Perla underwear and all the blokes I shag are good looking and so respectful' stuff is guff.

If it's the OP's experience, great. I'm not accusing her of lying. But she is in a tiny minority - I'll lay money on it. Therefore I think it's misleading to come here and portray herself as some sort of sex industry Oracle. 'Ask and I shall tell...' etc.