Omigod

[YummyMummy14]

Help, please. I have just discovered that my H has been looking at porn on the internet.... we have been married 2 years and have a 1 year old son; he has done this once before, before our DS was born and I only found out by chance when the pics came up on screen. I had a melt down at the time and felt totally devastated. He said it would stop and it did, till now. Have just confronted him on the phone (he;s at work) and he didn't deny it. I feel sick to the pit of my stomach and don't know what to do- I haven't told any friends as I'm too ashamed and embarrassed. I don't know what to do. I feel sick that he's looked at it since having a child. I freely admit that I don't look as good as I used to and that at the moment due to a lively, nocturnal baby we hardly ever have sex. But I though love and marriage were meant to go deeper than that. I feel like he is being unfaithful. I hate him and it makes me hate myself. PLEASE write something...

Thanks Janos.

Im going to ask MNHQ to delete my posts from this thread though, its not like me to express myself so badly.

CHarlee: I'm not pissed off, honest. You are entitled to your opinion just as I'm entitled to disagree with it. And FWIW your ex flatmate sounds like she had a fair few problems - but not everyone who has lots of sex with different partners is irresponsible about it or an emotional mess, some of us do it because we enjoy it.

Ok thanks SolidGold.

Im going to go now, i will no doubt be around tommorrow hopefully with a clearer head.

Yes, what candles said.

Hope you're ok!

Lol still here, can't drag myself away.

have already asked MNHQ about posts so to late for that.

I am having bad day becuase i feel like a crap mum, my ds1 has cystic fibrosis and i went against my better judgement and let his brs take him off his meds and now e is growing a nasty bug in his chest, i feel shit for not speaking up more and sticking up for him.

No one can help im just gutted, he was doing really well and now we have had a set back, but don;t worry i will get up in the morning and grin and bear it with a smile on my face like i always do. Im sure i will be fine tommorrow.

sorry should have read drs.

Oh Charlee that sounds so stressful. Poor you and your DS. Of course you aren't a crap mum! Honestly.

FWIW I am in middle of trying to sort of residence for DS..(nightmare) and have had row with DP and I should be in bed because I have to work tomorrow.

All I'm saying is, circs are different but.. I understand!

I just hate myself because i bloody knew it wasn't the right thing to do i had a gut geeling it was going to cause trouble and i just went along with it anyway.

I had a row with dp about ti all to. I have to stay so calm about it all that sometimes it gets a little to much and i have a nighttime breakdown its usually all to myself though.

I think if you were a bad mum you wouldn't be here now, worrying about it.

I can only imagine how tough it must be to deal with.

Don't apologise for having an opinion either!

How old is your DS?

Candles - I don't think we have talked much on here before but I like you

Bloody DPs...mine is cause of situation with XP (which is a whole other thread).

He is 4, when he grows Pseudomonous he is really naighty, (like all the toher cf kids) which doesn't help.

I know deep down im not a bad mum i just feel like i have let him and all of us down but not speaking up, well i did speak up but not enough, its silly really becuase it is treatable this certain bug but it is days like this that remind me what the future is very likley to hold.

Mine is being an arse, he is annoyed becuase i can't mind read and know what he is thinking so i inevatable do the worng thing, but that will pass were just both stressed.

I too am feeling bad about not speaking up enough for DS, (also 4!) but for different reasons. I agree 4 year old boys can be extremely naughty!

I know a little about CF but enough to understand the seriousness.

Well mine has bad flu..I got annoyed cos I thought he wasn't being supportive...he's knackered so am I. Not a good combo is it!

Well there are a number of bugs that grow naturally in the chest, we norms cough them out no probs but cf patients produce stick mucus so the bugs stick and grow causing lung damage and eventually (hopefully alot of years down the line) lung failure resulting in the need for a transplant or if not well enough death. There is no cure.

Out of all the bad bugs Psudo is the second worse on you can get but at least its antibiotic sensitive so it can be treated, each time he gets it though its just causing more damage.
Most days i try and be proactive, raise money, do extra physio that dort of thing but sometimes i can't push the bad thoughts to the back of my head and i have a cry when no one is around so im ready to face the next day.

It truley is a shitty disease and its the most common inherited one in the world.

No stress and illness is never a good combo in a relationship, dp is in bed. I hate going to bed on an argument but im sure he will have forgotten it in the morning.

Bloody hell Charlee I think you are entitled to a good cry!

Please don't be thinking you are a bad mum. Obviously I don't know you 'IRL' but you certainly don't come across that way here, just a loving mum doing her best.

Do you have any pics of your DS on here?

testing profile?

Just trying to put mmy profile up!

Oh, your boys are absolutely gorgeous Charlee!