Omigod

[YummyMummy14]

Help, please. I have just discovered that my H has been looking at porn on the internet.... we have been married 2 years and have a 1 year old son; he has done this once before, before our DS was born and I only found out by chance when the pics came up on screen. I had a melt down at the time and felt totally devastated. He said it would stop and it did, till now. Have just confronted him on the phone (he;s at work) and he didn't deny it. I feel sick to the pit of my stomach and don't know what to do- I haven't told any friends as I'm too ashamed and embarrassed. I don't know what to do. I feel sick that he's looked at it since having a child. I freely admit that I don't look as good as I used to and that at the moment due to a lively, nocturnal baby we hardly ever have sex. But I though love and marriage were meant to go deeper than that. I feel like he is being unfaithful. I hate him and it makes me hate myself. PLEASE write something...

I don't care if it exploits women or men, they chose to be slags for money then so be it. Its the comparing, its not that im jelous becuase i honestly wouldn't want to look like a porn star but i want to be as desirable as them, i.e the way i used to look. (2 stone lighter/no road map on my stomach, boobs not greeting my bellybutton)

Is it harmless though? Its no co-incidence that the rise in accessibility of porn has been mirrored by a rise in sexual violence/attacks against women AND from the emotional aspect of relationships, some men actually feel their sex life is a failure when compared with porn and it can cause marriage problems...but that's a whole other topic!

Ahh but feminisim (sp!) is about choice - so if another woman regards a woman as a slag for getting her fadge out, then fine. I personally agree, they are slags!

Its Slaggy on both fronts from men and women, if you sleep around whatever you sex you are a slag and porn is just people shagging eachother and other sexual things isn't it............

Slags isn't fair Charlee. Maybe they need to pay their way through college, or are single parents etc etc.

They could be doing it for lots of reasons, after all it is 'just a job', albeit not one I'd want to do!

PussinJimmyChoos, I see what you are saying. My point is I think men view it as harmless not that it is harmless. That's debatable, IMO

Im not a feminist in that way, i wouldn't say to a woman 'your shagging about, good for you, display your sexuality, you should beable to your a woman'

I would also not say it to a man.

I hate seeing women calling other women Slags. It's a vile word.

Can they not flip burgers at Maccy D's or clean? I have been in some desperate situations and i have never shagged someone for money, thats jsut as bad as prostitution. IMO

It is a vile word sorry. I will think of a better one although there really isn't a nice way of saying it, is there?

I see what you;re saying Charlee.

But, if they don't think so and that's how they choose to earn their money, they don't deserve to be called names for it.

Sorry, its just my opinion, i was brought up to belive sex is something special between a couple in love, call me corny and old fashioned but that is what i belive.

Its not the only reason i don't like Porn either i don't like it becuase it kind of goes again my beliefs (see above) and it gives bad images to people about how sex is ment to be.

Hang on, not every woman that makes me feel bad about myself I term a slag..I mean I watch Nigella and I think oooh, wish to be similar domestic kitchen goddess but am not, but do not call her a slag

Porn stars are slags

A friend of mine left her husband when they had a four month old baby because she found he was looking at porn. Their marriage broke up and he hasn't seen his son since. It's really sad. She also hadn't had sex with him for a while. So I do understand that it obviously is very upsetting for some women.

But I really think that men and some women do need visual simulus and to masturbate often (and that although it would also make me feel inadequate,) it's not a reflection of how he feels about you. It's just pictures, not the same as infidelity...

My ex often looked at porn and although it did upset me, in the end I just ignored it.

Sorry i have apologised for sing that word. Please don't think i am trying to offend anyone im not.

I don't hate women, i don't hate anyone, i do think men can be 'slags' or what ever the polite term for it is.

Like i explained, i don't belive its right to sleep around, i was jsut expressing my opinion.

Not in a good way i admit and i am again sorry.

I agree candles.

Honestly, please can we not use the word 'slags'. It's really horrible and demeaning to all women. It makes them sound less than human and they aren't just girls and women doing a job.

but charlee - where is the difference ? flipping burgers at mcdonalds is demoralising and boring, cleaning is too

why not use what you are good at ?

I don't think its demoralising, i guess its just personal opinion, im am dong a shitty job of expressing mine today, i have had a really crappy day and i apologise, check my previous threads im not usually a trouble maker honest guv!

I just think sex is a personal thing between two people in a realtionship, not something that is done for money or a carrer.

And i would like to piont out i am not saying this about women specificaly im talking in general.

Charlee that's how it is when you feel strongly about something, you might use strong language you wouldn't otherwise use. Does that make sense? I understand what you mean!

Not meant to sound patronising btw sorry if it comes across that way.