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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

My man smokes weed

98 replies

elsmommy · 08/04/2005 12:11

I wonder if anyone has any advice for me. My dp goes to his mates house almost every saturday and comes home stoned.
I think he's really childish doing it and should grow up. I'm not sure if I get so angry because he'd rather spend his time doing that, than been with me and dd or if I just have a problem with drugs.
He does only go out once a week, am I been stupid?
I have also recently given up smoking because dp wanted me to and him doing this just seems like a kick in the teeth.
Its eating me up inside, I dread weekends coming.

OP posts:
Fio2 · 08/04/2005 12:12

I wouldnt have a problem with it tbh

misdee · 08/04/2005 12:12

why did he want you to give up smoking if he was on the old wacky?

misdee · 08/04/2005 12:13

i;d love to get stoned

Fio2 · 08/04/2005 12:14

I know someone who makes a mean cake misdee, but you might wet yourself

colditzmum · 08/04/2005 12:14

I would be well pissed off, ask him if he wants his dd to be on the social services register as living with a drug user!

lou33 · 08/04/2005 12:15

why did he tell you to give up but he didn't? Seems like double standards to me.

On the question of the smoking tho, if it's only once a week i don't really see the problem.

kissalot · 08/04/2005 12:15

It dosn't bother me personally - its better than him coming home pissed and slobbering all over me!!!!!!!!!!!!! Pass the cake

vict17 · 08/04/2005 12:15

I don't think it would bother me - doesn't sound any diferent from going out once a week and getting wasted from drinking. I guess smoking is an every day thing. Though as you're obviously not happy with it he should take that into account

misdee · 08/04/2005 12:16

oooooooo cake!!

i'd prefer a big fat bong tho

misdee · 08/04/2005 12:17

i;d bve mightily p*ssed off if dh came home and muched all my cookies tho!

wild · 08/04/2005 12:17

if he only goes out once a week seems fine
no probs with smoking
do you get to go out regularly too?

kissalot · 08/04/2005 12:18

Do agree that hes a hypocrite though. If it really gets to you tell him you'll get back on the fags if he dosn't stop.

Original poster
elsmommy · 08/04/2005 12:20

I suppose if I got to go out sometimes and to get drunk it wouldn't bother me!
He just hated me smoking and used to come home everyday and have a go at me. I got sick of it 8 weeks ago and managed to quit. He said he would too but only lasted 2 weeks until he went to see his mate!!

OP posts:
kissalot · 08/04/2005 12:25

How annoying! Quitting fags is really hard especially if thers someone pressuring you. Could you get a babysitter and go out with a friend on th ame night he goes out?? (And come home reeking of smoke just to annoy him)!!

stonedhusbandsmoll · 08/04/2005 12:27

Have changed my name as dont want other mnetters I meet judging me but I'm in the same boat-I gave up smoking fags over a month ago-used to puff for years but grew out of it when two sons were born. My dh smokes everyday and is a monster without puff-he keeps putting giving up off for one reason or another and I hate him doing now because he's a real touchy,feely dad with his sons and quite often sleeps with them both asleep on the sofa when I work in the evenings and I know how strong he smells-especially skunk-its disgusting!!

kissalot · 08/04/2005 12:28

Does he smoke it around the kids or out of the house (not judging, just wondering)

kissalot · 08/04/2005 12:29

Sorry my last comment was a bit nosey (OOPPS)

stonedhusbandsmoll · 08/04/2005 12:40

In the garden-never in the house but I now know why you get all that advice on how smoking anywhere affects kids-if they had asthma it would most definitely aggrevate it smelling it on him and his clothes.

stonedhusbandsmoll · 08/04/2005 12:43

When I smoked I couldnt see what all the fuss was about-at least elsmommys dp goes off somewhere else to do it and I presume stays away from the kids-doesnt make it right though,especially if she has taken the mammoth step of getting off fags-thats hard!!
(Well done,by the way!!!)

kissalot · 08/04/2005 12:52

Does your DH know how much you hate it??

Blu · 08/04/2005 12:54

Elsmommy - is it 'ordinary' smoking your dp has encouraged you to give up? Good for you - that's a brilliant thing to have done, whatever he goes and does!
Do you think he is smoking away from home in order to keep the smell and temptation away from you? Personally, I'd be far happier for someone to do a bit of recreational smokking away from the kids, rather than have someone doing that legal kind of smoking in the home.
Are you upset because he is spending time away from you and kids at w/e? Or envious because you like to smoke weed too, but have had to stop so that you don't fall back into using cigarettes? In which case a night out with your g/f and a packet of Fio's freinds cakes might be the answer.

stonedhusbandsmoll · 08/04/2005 13:00

I LOVE CAKE!!
Havent had any for years but its ten times better than smoking. Maybe you could suggest he gives up like you have for the sake of his health but get a babysitter and get baking!!??

motherinferior · 08/04/2005 13:29

I'd be pissed off at the spending every Saturday evening away having a whale of a time, too. Whatever particular drug it was - actually I'd mind booze more as it would presumably clobber him the same day.

But I'd go down Blu's route, myself.

nutcracker · 08/04/2005 13:29

I wouldn't have a prob with it either tbh, really miss my weed smoking days

Fio2 · 08/04/2005 13:29

best tell my friend to get baking then

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