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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

My man smokes weed

98 replies

elsmommy · 08/04/2005 12:11

I wonder if anyone has any advice for me. My dp goes to his mates house almost every saturday and comes home stoned.
I think he's really childish doing it and should grow up. I'm not sure if I get so angry because he'd rather spend his time doing that, than been with me and dd or if I just have a problem with drugs.
He does only go out once a week, am I been stupid?
I have also recently given up smoking because dp wanted me to and him doing this just seems like a kick in the teeth.
Its eating me up inside, I dread weekends coming.

OP posts:

SkiBunnyFlummy · 08/04/2005 14:37

i know fio can yu imagine having to put yerr ageing dad into rehab - how depressing.

BadgerBadger · 08/04/2005 15:03

Snurk....

I was mid way through this thread when the news report on the radio mentioned a 60 year old lady has been given a 6 month suspended sentence for 'baking' the aforementioned culinary delights for friends and neighbours ...........

Be warned!

MeerkatsUnite · 08/04/2005 15:06

SBF re your Dad,

You do realise of course that what he is proposing is the fast track to the gutter, jail or morgue. D'you think he's serious about doing this and what brought this on?.

Elsmommy - your partner is being disrespectful to both you and his daughter. Do you think he has become dependent on cannabis?. Problem is most people think its harmless and lawful as its been downgraded to class C - it is not on both counts and is a lot stronger than it was say 10 or 20 years ago. You also need to be aware he is playing russion roulette with his mental health especially if there is depression in his family history. Even if there is not, there is no guarantee he will not end up without any form of mental health problem longer term.

SkiBunnyFlummy · 08/04/2005 15:28

meers. I think he just wants to be a rebel, missed out a bit due to marrying young etc etc. also unlikely he will go through with it, but he is a bit of an intellectual and wants to experience this 'higher level'. for 1 not sure where he will locate said class A's in posh home counties town where he lives. and also my mum would kill him.

he is adamant he wants to try an E though. but figure that not too bad. hope he doesn't start going to raves, terribly embarrassing

dinosaur · 08/04/2005 15:33

I don't think that it has to be "fast track to gutter, jail or morgue" does it? I know vast numbers of people who have "dabbled" - and in a couple of cases, dabbled with quite heavy stuff, like chasing the dragon - and they've all ended up fine upstanding members of society - partners in law firms, journalists, barristers...

flic23 · 08/04/2005 15:41

I know plenty of people who smoke dope and they are completely normal respecable professional people. They carry out normal lives with happy families and iends its just a weekend or evening escape. As a women whos DP goes to the pub every sat night and comes home wasted at about 2am and then lies in bed till the afternoon on Sunday never mind people getting in drunken brawls. If he was just getting stoned and relaxing one night a week my sat night and sunday would be better. Dope doesnt have to mean worse i reckon those that use hard drugs would have got their without it anyway

kissalot · 08/04/2005 15:45

Totally agree Flic

dropinthe · 08/04/2005 15:45

I also know quite a few people who have had depression throughout their lives which has turned into full blown schizophrenia through excessive smoking-in one case he has had to be hospitalised! Its not as black and white as that.

flic23 · 08/04/2005 15:47

this is such a hard toopic. I mean dope has been linked to depression but fags cause untold harm, and alcohol pickles your internal organs and shrinks your brain people do it knowing the risks at what point does big brother take over

Blu · 08/04/2005 16:16

Evidence that weed wrecks your brain?
That's from SkiBunnyFlum who, IIRR is an accountant. Poor love can't count to three any more

dinosaur · 08/04/2005 16:17

MeerkatsUnite · 08/04/2005 16:45

Dinosaur

Re your comment:-
"I know vast numbers of people who have "dabbled" - and in a couple of cases, dabbled with quite heavy stuff, like chasing the dragon - and they've all ended up fine upstanding members of society - partners in law firms, journalists, barristers".

Oh, so that's alright then is it?.

You don't mention the many casualties of drug addiction though. Not everyone who "dabbles" comes out of the experience unscathed.

Such addicts (and many do need help to come off it because they cannot themselves do so) run the risk of losing everything if the drugs take over their lives. "Dabbling" as you so quaintly put it can all too easily led to ruin. Not everyone has the self control or ability to quit. Its a fine line between an occasional habit and a use that leads to physical dependence and addiction.

I know of someone who used cocaine for recreational purposes - he was sacked from his job and ended up in a pyschiatric unit.

I make no apologies for my stance on this; drug addiction (be it illegal or otherwise) is too serious a matter for society to ignore.

noddyholder · 08/04/2005 16:49

once a week is ok IMO.my dp is prone to eating the odd bit and I can get him to do anything I want when he's stoned

dinosaur · 08/04/2005 16:50

MU it's obviously something you feel strongly about and of which you have more experience of than me.

However I have always thought that telling people "Don't try drugs because you'll get addicted" is not the complete answer as a deterrent because it's just so patently not true in very very many cases, and therefore undermines the credibility of the messenger.

Blu · 08/04/2005 16:52

I think that people with additional problems, or not much to lose, or little belief that they or their lives are of value, are far more at risk of letting drugs damage their lives than people who have everything to lose and want to protect themselves and what they have.

I don't think that accounts for all drug casualities, and of course there is a risk, but I know more people who have had their lives ruined through cigarette smoking and driving cars than from occasional recreational drug use. I don't think it's helpful to tell gutter, jail and morgue stories as if they were inevitable about all drugs and all drug use when it clearly isn't true.

Fio2 · 08/04/2005 16:57

I am having a smoke now guys, a thread has wound me up and i keep reading this thread as "my nan smokes weed"

dinosaur · 08/04/2005 16:58

Blu you said what I was trying to say but much more eloquently.

MeerkatsUnite · 08/04/2005 17:06

Blu - Can I clear something up please re the jail and morgue remark I made?.

This was a lady's Dad saying that he was, "looking forward to seeing what all the fuss was about re heroin and crack". My response to this particular comment was that this could be a "fast track to the gutter, jail and morgue". Its not related to anything else written here.

I would certainly agree with your first paragraph - some people primarily use such substances to escape their problems.

Thank you Dinosaur for your comments. I would agree with you that the "Just say no" is not the answer either. Education can play a part here; no one section of society is exempt from drug use and its far reaching consequences on family life and society

Long term illegal drug use impacts on society at all sorts of levels - crime being one where you have addicts stealing to pay for their addiction. Such people need help to get clean, prison is not always the answer either.

dinosaur · 08/04/2005 17:08

I hadn't realised MU that you were referring only to heroin and crack. Thanks be to God, have no personal experience of either, but living where I do I see the downside of both every day in life, and I certainly agree that they contribute massively to ruined lives.

Blu · 08/04/2005 17:14

Meerkat - actually I like the 'gutter, jail or morgue' line a lot - and took it to be quite lighthearted / melodramatic in response to the way Fio was talking about her Dad....I wonder what will happen there!!!

Take your point, anyway

Fio2 · 08/04/2005 17:19

no its not my dad! i have no idea where oir what my dad is doing!

lou33 · 08/04/2005 17:40

makes me fit

WestCountryLass · 08/04/2005 20:48

Does he go out all the time the rest of the week? If he is with you most of the rest of the time it really would not me,i'd be booking a babysitter so ic ould go too!

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