FAB & GLAM PART 9 - DOES IT GET BETTER NOW!!

[macdoodle]

Started new thread guys as needed to post and old one wouldnt let me - sorry if name is bit miserable but thats how am feeling !

The police have just left
It all went tits up tonight - H found out/suspected about NM and lost it completely - was physically abusive and took my phone - best friend called the police!
Has been a hell of a night - long statement - excellent police man - who says should have called them a long time ago - gonna get the domestic violence team to ring me tomorrow - he will be arrested and probably cautioned - he seems really worried it will escalate - has put a marker on the phone for an immediate response, has adviced me to change the locks and go away for a bit if I can, and they will look at putting an alarm in the house
There is still a part of me that feels I am over reacting/is all my fault - even though an experienced police oficer is not happy about the situation!
What a mess my life has turned into

Sorry - a very self-indulgent post
Hope everyone is ok this weekend.

Thank God the baby was OK LadyLush. You must have been terrified.
Take care of yourself and rest up next week.
I had a crap day. I was in a foul mood due to a bit of a hangover from a night out with the girls on Friday night and the not smoking and I was moody and horrible all day.
Still haven't had a fag though - even though everyone else I was with on Friday spent half the night on the doorstep of the pub!
I'm both ashamed of myself and proud of myself today

LL thanks goodness everything ok and agree with Ginny make sure you get some rest next week.
How weird for it to happen and overshadow that date though.

Ginny well done you you are bound to get tetchy but it will be worth it , keep it up

Well done Ginnny I'm not surprised you're feeling moody though - must still be hard resisting smoking, esp. when you're at the pub. Go girl

Thanks Ginnny and Lilyloo Lilyloo - yes that's what I thought. I now have a scan pic dated 14th Feb and a memory of a little hand waving about I was so relieved I burst into tears.

Advice noted - I spent the day lazing around today. Had the house to myself as dh and ds went to mil's to celebrate her bday. I had already planned to stay home and am glad as the rest has been great.

LLush - glad you have made a new memory for the day

Thanks Dior How are things with you?

Ll - that is such good news - and yes, put your feet up as much as poss. Glad you have been able to make a more positive memory for the date.

Ginnny, I often think that standing out in the cold is a VERY good reason to give up smoking! Don't worry about feeling tetchy - it will get better .

DP loved his book - though he very tactfully made comments about the recipes rather than the photos . Edwardian ladies certainly had big bottoms!! He was hugely embarrassed that he hadn't got me anything - not even a card (says something about his state of mind at the moment ) but at least he'd put some sparkly in the fridge and we had a nice candlelit evening. I got a bit tearful on Sunday morning though, as we'd just gone to bed and to sleep despite my efforts to get some sort of romantic response out of him, and he just got up and went down to make himself coffee, not responding to my request that he come back upstairs and that I might make it worth his while! But I thought, either I can spend the whole day feeling miserable and unfancied, or I can just go downstairs and suggest he ravish me. So I took the latter course. And it worked - so I spent the rest of the day with a smile on my face! Guess I should just start demanding my conjugal rights a bit more, instead of waiting for him to take the initiative ...

lush that is lovely - and i really hope this is going to be the lovely memory for you.

BIL goes home tomorrow - thank goodness, and i can hopefully get my house back. But think i will have to wait until after half term.

I am already tempted to open the gin - 3 children all suffering from head colds is just too much for anyone.

Thanks Tanee and HW HW - happy to have your house back?

Horray - he has gone at last. Yes lovely to have the house back - now just wishing for lovely weather so i wont feel so cruel to be throwing my children out into the garden.

The half term already seems too long - why do i think it is a good idea to let them stay up later in the holidays?? I get no evening and then have to be quiet in the mornings too.

Tannee glad the suggestions worked i would def suggest them more

HW i make the mistake of late nights (watched mama mia last night) but they still get up at crack of dawn and are grumpy all day so i pay the price!
Roll on next week , can you tell i no longer working couldnt wait for hols

LL you resting ???

It is only the little one that cant amuse herself for long.
I cant imagine how i coped when i had 3 under 5.

Hoping to go out and get some fresh air today to hopefully wear them all out.

I am defo resting. Had another fresh red bleed on Tuesday I phoned the EPU and the sonographer said not to come before my appt. next Monday as she thinks it's linked to the other bleed and that all is probably fine because my scans thus far show good development. It's still horrible seeing bleeding in pregnancy - especially red blood. It's brown now, but I am in bits. I don't know how many more times this will happen. On the plus side, no pain. Have taken today and yesterday off sick. Was on leave 3 days this week anyway.

Hope its linked to the other one LL.

LLush - try not to worry. Keep resting and don't lift anything.

I am keeping everything crossed for you x

LL I am sure you know this - but regular frequent fresh bleeds can be entirely normal and not herald any problems, especially with your scan findings - but am still keeping everything crossed for our next G+F baby!
Things very tough here dont even have the energy to update in any detail am afraid..
every single thing is a battle - and his latest means of keeping control is messing me about looking after the DD's especially on a work morning ..
Financially sinking fast as he contributes absolutely nothing and his business takes 2K a month just to keep afloat and is secured on my house - just crap really!
Solicitor doing his best but he just delays or ignores and the solicitors bills are mounting astronomically ...finding it hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel
NM is still being lovely and supportive which helps but even a struggle to see how we will ever be able to have any kind of normal realtionship!
Just plodding on a day at a time .....
I do hope you are all keeping well - does anyone know how Baffy is (Baffy if you are lurking I hope you are ok)....

Thanks for your words of support ladies
MacD - I think it's hard to see a future when things are so bleak right now, but this nm sounds lovely (and v patient) so there is every chance that you have a very happy future ahead of you. Would your h agree to the business being dissolved/sold or signed over to him so that he can secure it himself rather than it being secured on your joint mortgage? 2K is lot to shell out each month for a business that's not bringing in any money.

We went to the Science Museum yesterday. It was packed but it was good. I was amazed to see that in the 70's 45% of pregnant women were induced. No wonder our mums recall such horrific labours

McD - sorry h is messing you about with the childcare. What an arse he is being Tbh I think you are well rid.

LL I hope you're ok. FWIW I had regular, fresh bleeds all throughout my pregnancy with ds. Some could be explained, some couldn't, and every time I was in bits. One time H even called an ambulance because there was that much blood! I was about 26 weeks that time!!
But he was absolutely fine and is the most perfect little boy ever!

I hope you're getting plenty of rest though. I sometimes wonder if these things happen as a way of telling you to slow down.

Everything is ok for me. I haven't been lurking, just so so busy with the house and no internet there yet. So can only catch up at my mum's.

I have my 20 week scan on Monday. Can't wait. LO is only just starting to wriggle now. Felt the first proper kicks over the last few days. So I'm really excited about Monday

OW had a little girl. H has been pretty good. Keeping me up to date but only when I want to know things. Quite supportive too.
Am having a bit of a low time atm. Just re-living some of the memories of what I've been through and wondering how on earth I'll cope with ds and the new lo. I'm exhausted already. Didn't realise just how much my mum really did help me.

I'm ok though

LL make sure you keep us up to date. Dior how are you? Macd I think about you all the time. Lots of love xx

Baffy - you will cope, as you always have. You are doing so well. Pregnancy is exhausting at the best of times, without moving house and all the added stress, but you are strong and I know you will get through whatever life throws at you.
How do you feel about the OW's dd? It must be a relief that it wasn't a boy, but wierd all the same ... do you know yet what you are having or are you waiting for the surprise?
LL - try to stay positive, and look after yourself.
MacD - at your H. NM sounds lovely though.
Things here aren't great, its all sliding downhill again . Its all money worries and family stuff but I'm still not smoking, which is hard but they say the second/third week can be the worst as you lose that 'high' feeling and start craving again.
Dior - hope you are feeling better.
Hi to everyone else too!!
xxx

Hey Baffy and Ginnny - thanks for asking about me. I am ok thanks, sorry you are both a little worn down . I have just had a few days in Norwich with my Mum, which was nice. H and ds went to CenterParcs and actually had a day longer than me, so we had a real break from each other. I really enjoyed being by myself....

Oh no Dior - that time to yourself is a MUST! Don't you dare feel guilty Glad you had a nice time

Ginnny - well done for not smoking even though things have been crap for you. Sorry to hear things are sliding but if things are hard financially I suppose you have even better incentive to remain a non-smoker - and can feel proud of yourself for saving money That said, I practically told my mum to start again as she was positively horrid when she gave up

Baffy - glad h is being helpful. Agree with the others - moving is so stressful but add pregnancy into the equation and no wonder you are feeling drained. What does ds think of the new house? Is h going to get a paternity test or is he positive that the baby is his?

I've been taking it easy, though I lifted ds out of the bath the other day (just did it without thinking) Dh is being very supportive and helpful and I've had some time to myself (ala Dior!) which has been wonderfully relaxing. Back to work Monday though as I can't feasibly take more time off. I am considering telling my manager as I have two hospital appts. next week and I also have to submit a self-cert for the two days I was off sick last week. I think I'll wait til after the scan on Monday though. Keep everything crossed for me a bit longer ladies

You are a great mum and wife Dior - everybody needs a bit of 'me time' every now and then. I bet it did you the world of good and I'm sure ds had a great time with his Daddy.
LL - I'll be thinking of you tomorrow. I'm sure it will all be fine. It is a good idea to tell work, then they will be more sympathetic if you need time off.
We're off to my Mums today for Sunday lunch. It will be great not to have to cook for once. We have to walk there though because now my car has conked out and I just can't afford to get it mended. I'm thinking of just getting rid of it and saving on the tax & insurance

LL & Baffy, good luck with the scans tomorrow. Fingers crossed for both of you!Baffy, hope the house is going well. How are things with H, OW and her baby? It must be difficult for you but concentrate on yourself for now.

Ginnny, think about all that money you're saving by not smoking .

Dior, we ALL need 'me-time' - don't ever feel guilty. If you don't get time to yourself, you burn out and become the mother from hell - at least, that's what happens to me .

LL, I'd forgotten about that 70s thing of inducing babies. I now remember that it was a big issue in women's magazines when I was going through my teens then. It was considered 'convenient' - for the hospital staff, of course, not the mothers - it meant they could time births to avoid night shifts and public holidays. If I'd had DD then, I suppose they would have tried to induce me - as she arrived on Easter Monday and disrupted my plans as much as the hospital staff's. It was all the stressed babies and traumatised mothers that led to a move towards returning to more natural childbirth, birthing pools and the like - lucky for us then!

Oh, and my own mum, producing me in the late 1950s, says she didn't get any pain relief at all, as it was too expensive on the NHS !!!! She said it was the worst pain she ever endured but at least there was something worth having at the end .