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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

FAB & GLAM PART 9 - DOES IT GET BETTER NOW!!

1000 replies

macdoodle · 22/01/2009 01:24

Started new thread guys as needed to post and old one wouldnt let me - sorry if name is bit miserable but thats how am feeling !

The police have just left
It all went tits up tonight - H found out/suspected about NM and lost it completely - was physically abusive and took my phone - best friend called the police!
Has been a hell of a night - long statement - excellent police man - who says should have called them a long time ago - gonna get the domestic violence team to ring me tomorrow - he will be arrested and probably cautioned - he seems really worried it will escalate - has put a marker on the phone for an immediate response, has adviced me to change the locks and go away for a bit if I can, and they will look at putting an alarm in the house
There is still a part of me that feels I am over reacting/is all my fault - even though an experienced police oficer is not happy about the situation!
What a mess my life has turned into

OP posts:
Lilyloo · 30/01/2009 14:14

thought i better sticky this thread in case i loose it forever
i don't like this!!!!!!!!!

Have good time LL

McD now you know what he is doing guess you just have to ride it and be strong. Yes somersaults are good for the tummy!!!

ladylush · 30/01/2009 16:10

Hmm, yes don't think much of the new layout.

Dior · 30/01/2009 18:34

Oh I quite lie it actually. You'll get used to it.

Dior · 30/01/2009 18:35

'like' even

ladylush · 30/01/2009 21:19

Maybe I'm anal about change

Lilyloo · 30/01/2009 21:25

LL doubly anal here although the wine seems to be helping

Original poster
macdoodle · 30/01/2009 21:30

wine here too after another shitty night from ex and losing the plot donw phone to NM - he must really like me to be sticking around

OP posts:
Lilyloo · 30/01/2009 21:41

Ah McD oh well tells if he round for the long haul i guess!!!
Hope so you deserve it and the making up in the early days is worth the argument if i remember rightly

Dior · 31/01/2009 12:26

Just remember to apologise sweetly McD (and if all else fails, offer sexual services ). If he sticks through this, he must be a winner.

HappyWoman · 01/02/2009 10:29

You go McD - didnt we all predict this would happen.

Stay strong now and you will come out the better for it.

Tanee58 · 02/02/2009 14:35

Happy Christmas everyone, everything deep & crisp & even in north London . Walked to work, took one and a half hours (normally 40 mins) but maybe that's partly because I kept stopping to take photos through the park. Reminds me of winter 1963! (feeling my age)

McD, that's really awful about the house. And his behaviour. At least you know exactly how he operates, so keep strong, and keep those tummy butterflies going

ginnny · 03/02/2009 10:25

West Kent ground to a halt yesterday. My boys school seemed to be the only one that managed to stay open and all the shops shut at 2 o'clock! Its crazy, its not like they didn't know it was coming.
It looks very pretty but I want it to go now.
We've built the snowman, had the snowball fights and I've fallen on my arse twice. So I've had enough of it all now.
Hope everyone else is surviving "The Big Freeze!"

Dior · 03/02/2009 11:31

Yesterdays ds' school was closed, which we discovered AFTER walking there. Radio didn't mention our school

Today, school oppen but paths are skating rinks. It is so dangerous out there. Be careful all of you.

Baffy · 03/02/2009 12:40

wow can't get used to the new site

macd you're doing brilliantly (is that a word?!) keep going. scary times, but this is the absolute worst it will ever get. things can only get better from here.

butterflies with NM sound great, definitely sounds like he is really good for you. especially right now.

how are you?

am gutted I'm in work and not playing in the snow with ds but my sister just sent me a gorgeous picture of a mini snowman they've just built

house looks to be all ok for Friday. am so excited. ordered a few lovely things online last night for the kitchen and living room. money's really tight but I decided on a couple of special little luxuries rather than lots of things that I'll probably hate in a week. then I can just add to it as and when I can. can't wait

Lilyloo · 03/02/2009 13:28

More snow here but with Ginny am sick of it!

great news Baffy fingers crossed!

TFM you ok ??

Anyone seen Ernest thread she coming back to UK

Dior · 03/02/2009 13:34

Ooh, no, missed that one!

Tanee58 · 03/02/2009 13:59

Oh poo, the snow's melting. Still, got some fabulous photos. Favourite was two cute smiley snowmen, one in a Santa hat, perched on top of someone's car . DD's school is still shut as it's on the top of a hill and no buses are running that way - she's v happy. I love the snow, but I hate the slush.

HappyWoman · 04/02/2009 15:46

Snow all gone here now and just bringing this back to the top.

Mad BIL here for a few days until funeral. At least we are all having a laugh together.

Tanee58 · 04/02/2009 17:06

Hi HW, by mad I take it you mean in a good way? Good to have laughs together at such a sad time.

We went to the most amazing memorial 'party' last Saturday. A theatrical acquintance of DPs died really young only 58 - of throat cancer (too much good wine and cigars, she says, watching DP darkly). He loved so many things, had been a teacher, musician and general friend to the theatre, owned a wonderful chaotic old house in Sussex, had a Steinway piano and a splendid organ that he built himself. There were hilarious reminiscences by old friends, two contributions from his children which nearly broke me up, loads of fantastic food, recitals on the piano and organ, and finally, fireworks followed by his DD and exwife setting off a large Thai balloon into the darkness. (He loved Thailand and had a 'thing' about fireworks). I told DP when I die, I want something like that - no mournful faces for me .

Snow all gone here too, but a lot of ice on the side streets. Glad of my solid walking boots. Not glam, but I haven't fallen over once. DD very cross that the schools are open again .

Baffy · 04/02/2009 17:08

can someone link to Ernest thread?

xx

HappyWoman · 05/02/2009 10:39

Yes i too would like link to her thread.

Tanee - we are going to do a memorial celebration in the summer on her birthday, where we hope to be able to remember all the good bits.

Her c* of a husband is doing the funeral so not sure what that is going to be like. Not even sure we will be able to be civil (and there is no point now anyway).

But yes good mad here but will need a rest when he has gone - he is so full on.

Hi to everyone else.

Dior · 05/02/2009 16:46

Oh HW, I didn't realise the end had come with MIL.

Hope you are all ok, especially H.

ladylush · 05/02/2009 18:53

HW hope funeral isn't too awful. How is your dh?

I got stuck in Edinburgh Monday. Couldn't get a transfer til 5pm Tuesday so had to miss work that day. Missed ds so much. He's sitting with dh learning French (dh's schoolboy French )

Fed up with this snow. Takes ages to get anywhere. Our road is snowed in. Now lots of black sludge. It's quite nice when it's fresh snow. After that it's terrible. If I wanted to skate, I'd go ice skating.

Tanee58 · 06/02/2009 13:39

More snow in London today so DD has another day off - not sure why, it hasn't settled as much as Monday, but I guess the staff were happy to have a lie-in . I'm just fed up with the gloom. The sun on Tuesday was so invigorating but it's so DARK now. DP's been really tired and grumpy, so I'm glad at least that he's at work. He got all shirty yesterday when I said I was planning to collect DD from the station after she'd gone to a gig. Opined that if she was old enough to go halfway across London to a gig, she was old enough to come home alone, 'that was part of the deal' - whatever that meant . No, actually, I said, 'part of the deal' of being her mother, was that I was happy to wait up and stay sober, so that I could ensure my 16 yr old DD got home safely! WTF? I pretty well ignored him the rest of the evening because I was cross and surprised by his attitude and when I got home with DD, he just went off to bed without a word leaving his newly opened bottle and stinky cheeseboard for me to put away. (Sigh) However, as I don't rise to his silliness any more, we don't get into an argument. Actually, does that make me passive aggressive?

HappyWoman · 06/02/2009 17:11

Thanks doir - yes it was all a bit sudden in the end but h was there with her which i think has helped him so much.
Her h actually asked that he not be disturbed in the night when it happened , but that just confirms what we already knew anyway. At least we never have to have any contact with him again.

But h is actually ok with it - he has gone back to work and is generally keeping busy and his brother is helping to lift the spirits (no pun intended).

Wihsing everyone a good weekend - we are hoping for more snow .

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