FAB & GLAM PART 9 - DOES IT GET BETTER NOW!!

[macdoodle]

Started new thread guys as needed to post and old one wouldnt let me - sorry if name is bit miserable but thats how am feeling !

The police have just left
It all went tits up tonight - H found out/suspected about NM and lost it completely - was physically abusive and took my phone - best friend called the police!
Has been a hell of a night - long statement - excellent police man - who says should have called them a long time ago - gonna get the domestic violence team to ring me tomorrow - he will be arrested and probably cautioned - he seems really worried it will escalate - has put a marker on the phone for an immediate response, has adviced me to change the locks and go away for a bit if I can, and they will look at putting an alarm in the house
There is still a part of me that feels I am over reacting/is all my fault - even though an experienced police oficer is not happy about the situation!
What a mess my life has turned into

Dior, I have some electric leads you could borrow .

@ Tanee!

A friend said to me the other day, 'What are you making XXXX for dinner...arsenic pie?'

Dior. Arsenic Pie is a very good idea!!!
LL I think being on the relationship threads does get to you if you read them too much and you are feeling a bit wobbly anyway. Your H sounds great for being so reassuring. Hope you have a good week off.
I've got a week off too. It will be great to spend lots of time with the boys and catch up with some friends who I've neglected since I went back to work.

I am quite cross with him today, in a resigned sort of way. I cocked up last week and arranged to see a friend on Monday, as it is half-term here, forgetting that it was a bank holiday. I didn't want to let her down as she is a single parent and that was the only day we could both do. So, h came along and we had (what I thought was) a pleasant day.

Then, when we went to bed, he started, in a light-hearted way, basically telling me all the things that she didn't do or say, and how she wasn't his type of person. I said that he had commented on how much he had liked her in the past and he said that it had been because it was in a 'smaller dose' . I had to defend my friend against all the things he was saying. He wasn't being aggressive, but he made it clear that he had felt a spare part and would have prefered to be just the three of us.

I seethed quietly in the bed until I fell asleep. This morning, he asked why I was a bit funny and I told him that I was fed up with him running my friends down after being nice as pie to their faces. At first he said, 'I apologise', but there was a 'But...' afterwards. Then he said, 'Well don't arrange things where I have to spend time with your friends then'

Sorry to make you feel like you have to be sociable .

The thing that isn't clear from my last post is how hard it is for me to have to go through this every time. I don't expect him to like all my friends or make an effort every weekend. Occasionally he has to see one of them, and most partners would surely enjoy socialising?

We have been invited to a quiz night and I told another friend (who is getting the team together) that he would not be interested. She sort of looked at me as if to say, 'How the hell do you know without asking him?' I always have to tell people that he is not very sociable, but when they DO meet him, he seems lovely and they then think I am horrible for running him down. Then, later the same evening, I will have to listen to a list of reasons (in a reasonable voice) of why he didn't like so and so, and wasn't it awful when XXXX said this or that or how he didn't agree with YYYY over that.

It makes me feel so sad inside and I dread being asked anywhere with him. Obviously, when you get to know people, the next stage is to get to know their families. But I can't do that and I am left having to explain it.

Dior - I would hazard a guess that your dh was raised by overly critical parents. Is he has self-critical as he is critical of everyone else? Does he have any friends. It must be awful having such impossibly high standards - I mean that sincerely, even though it seems as if I'm being sarcastic. It means he will never be happy.

Ginnny - enjoy your time with the boys and catching up with friends

We just got back from the Coast. Had a lovely 2 night stay. Very relaxed

NO, he wasn't. He had a loving mum but she dies when he was 17. His dad never did family time really.

Oh. That must have been hard for him. So not critical parents but emotionally unavailable (mum due to death, father by design). Did he idolise his mother?

hi guys

Sorry havent been around - as computer finally died. It had been ill for a while but i just couldnt bring myself to bite the bullet and buy a new one - but i had to.

Still getting to grips with it all and transfering all my important info. across. But it is wonderful as it is so much faster.

Half term is whizzing by too.

Will try and catch up on things i have missed.

Hi all

Just a quick post as I haven?t been around much and not sure how things will go?

Spent the last 3 days in hospital
Was out on Sunday with H just catching up with some friends and totally out of the blue started bleeding. Called the hospital who said just to ?pop up and see them so they could check things out? and 3 days later was still there!

They thought it may have been a show or that my waters had gone. I was adamant it wasn?t (bright red blood) but nope, they know best, so they gave me steroid injections to build up baby?s lungs in case he was on his way.

The couldn?t scan me on Sunday though as the unit was closed. Same story Bank Holiday Monday! So was told I?d just have to stay there but I?d be scanned first thing Tuesday.
Then due to the backlog from bank holiday it ended up being Tuesday evening before they scanned me! I had a really important school meeting I wanted to go to with ds and I sobbed my heart out to get out of there, but they still didn?t do anything.

Anyway, finally got scan, at which stage they said waters hadn?t gone and baby absolutely fine. No explanation for the bleed though.

However, they then still couldn?t discharge me without a doctors sign off, and they were all in surgery!

Feel like they started off so well and within hours I just became a number in the system and they really didn?t care when I got seen or when I got out. I explained time and time again that I know how it felt when my waters went and this was just bright red pure blood, nothing else. Baby was on monitor so many times and absolutely fine. All the bleeding had stopped within an hour of it starting and everything was fine.

Arghhhh so frustrating!

Main thing obviously is that me and the lo are ok. I still think there is probably a good chance that I will go early, especially as I did last time, but have totally lost all faith in the hospital. To be honest, some simple things, for example when I called to explain the bleeding and get advice they said ?just pop up?. I didn?t take anything with me. They later said ?it?s hospital policy that you have to stay in at least 24 hours after a bleed?.
Why the hell couldn?t they just tell me that on the phone?! I had H, my mum and my sister all running round getting things together for me and sorting out ds. If they?d have just said that from the start I?d have packed everything I need, dropped ds round to mum with all his stuff, and been a whole lot less stressed out when they wouldn?t let me go home

Sorry. Needed to rant! Extremely hormonal!!!

Hope everyone else is ok

Oh dear Baffy Glad all is ok with you and baby though. Bleeding in pg is horrible. Been there in early pregnancy (up to week 15) and don't want to get it again. When is your due date?

oh baffy that is terrible.

I blame the fact that no-one will take responsibility for your care.

It drives me mad and is one of the reasons i dont think i could back to the NHS.

When my ds was in hospital - we had to wait an 'extra' day because we had to wait for the consultant to remove his drip - ffs - and they wonder why the infection rate is so high???? And when the consultant did finally appear i think he was as horrified as we were, that no-one would just use some common sense and see what was needed. At one point there was a girl being sick and no-one would/could come to help her - so i did (but of course had i helped to spead any germs i would have been held responsible). You just cant win.

And if you dare to argue against the staff then you are seen as stoppy.

But like you say - the main thing is you are ok and the baby seems fine.

Try not to let it put you off going to the hospital again.

Says me who had 2 of mine at home.

Hope you are all having a good half term - weather here is fantastic.

TFM - i managed to get around to planting some veg this year.

Thanks guys

Think I just needed to rant

Not due until 10th July so 6 weeks today.

Although today there is lots coming away (sorry TMI!) but it's really thick and mucus-like and blood stained and I can't help wondering if it is a show. H is away though so I'm keeping my legs crossed! Does that work?!

Hope you're all enjoying the sunshine.

Will try to keep up but if I don't I may well be in hospital having the lo!!

Baffy - hope things are all ok with you. If you are at all worried, get yourself back to A&E!

I am having a very blue day . My course was cancelled today but M&D still had ds for the day. I sat in my bedroom watching the tv DVD of 'State of Play' so wasted 6 hours out of the sun, feeling sorry for my self.

H was good and phoned to see how I was.

dior, i hate it when i do that as you feel as if you have wasted a whole day. Try not to beat yourself up about it too much.

Baffy hope you are ok - sounds a bit scary and also like a show to me - but i also know that even if it is a show it can be a while.

Worked all day today so didnt see much sunshine - but it meant to be nice all weekend so heres hoping

Baffy - sounds like a show to me too. With ds1 I had a show on the Sunday night and he was born early Tuesday morning so it can take a few days.
As long as you and baby are OK, thats the main thing, I'm surprised all that stress in the hospital didn't start things off . Good luck and keep us posted when you can!

Baffy - if baby does come early I suppose it will be be a good thing that you had the steroid injections since lo will be about 5-6 weeks early. Was your ds early? Mine was pretty much on target (at 39+4) but I'd like it to be either the same or early(ish). Hate the thought of going 2 weeks overdue or being induced. How are you feeling? You might find that having the lo puts an end to the SPD. That's what happened with me.

Baffy, hope you are still ok. My nephew decided to appear 3 months early and sis was on heavy steroids for days - which worked as he's now some sort of teenage genius! Can't believe there's so little time to go now!

Dior - how are you today? Hope feeling chirpier? Glad H was being good.

Tanee - I am a lot better thanks - probably because of the sun. Plus, I got some exercise yesterday and today.

H was lovely over the weekend and I did get some cuddles. He is always more affectionate when I am depressed. He also surprised me with a new camera just for my craft stuff as the old one I had been using eventually gave up the ghost. He snuck off in town and surprised me with it later, which was nice.

Hope all the F&Gs are well.

Baffy - hope all is ok.
Dior - glad h has been caring. Hope you feel better soon.
Tanee - how are you?

Hey all
hope everyone ok , just popping in to see how the babys are doing! Mine is a real life little monster at the minute (McD) can prob vouch for that!
Baffy sounds scary , hope all good now.
Just back from hol in France which was lovely !!
Need to keep up with you guys. Has been good to have a break and good to say things are all good here.
DP is away this week and i am absolutely fine with it , who'd have thought!!!
TFM glad to see you still around the tea bags needed your advice
to everyone else!!

Hi Lilyloo Glad you had a great time in France It's also great that you trust dh to be away - shows how much work the two of you have achieved I am much better after my wobble with dh before our week off. I think we really needed that time as a family.

LL this may sound really odd but seeing someone every day through the routine of life can be very lonely..
A break just helps alleviate your subconscious worries i guess!!

Anyhow hows you and the lo ????

N0 doesn't sound odd at all - ikwym. Yes I think I needed a lot of reassurance - not so much words but just knowing that we all enjoyed spending time together. Plus dh and I had two days to ourselves at the end of the week. It was lovely going out and not having to plan far in advance. Baby is fine. Lots of kicks. Mw appt is still 3 weeks away and I get to see baby again at 34 weeks (9 weeks time) Still haven't opened that envelope What did your dds make of France?

Wow LL how did that come around so quickly ??They loved France , (maybe not as much as me with the wine , cheese , pate and bread )