FAB & GLAM PART 9 - DOES IT GET BETTER NOW!!

[macdoodle]

Started new thread guys as needed to post and old one wouldnt let me - sorry if name is bit miserable but thats how am feeling !

The police have just left
It all went tits up tonight - H found out/suspected about NM and lost it completely - was physically abusive and took my phone - best friend called the police!
Has been a hell of a night - long statement - excellent police man - who says should have called them a long time ago - gonna get the domestic violence team to ring me tomorrow - he will be arrested and probably cautioned - he seems really worried it will escalate - has put a marker on the phone for an immediate response, has adviced me to change the locks and go away for a bit if I can, and they will look at putting an alarm in the house
There is still a part of me that feels I am over reacting/is all my fault - even though an experienced police oficer is not happy about the situation!
What a mess my life has turned into

TFM - your poor ds - there are some mean buggers out there in the world .

Ginnny - glad the funeral went well. Hope dp manages to pull himself back from the abyss of alcohol fairly soon. A blip can be understood but it needs to be a short one!

LL - OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

My mum has just been round to see me because I phoned her earlier feeling sorry for myself. H is out bowling with work tonight and won't be in until late. )Pmsl, I originally typed 'boweling' )

We talked for a couple of hours and she has just left. She told me to ring her if I need anything.

LL 'don't open it'!!! it's a lovely surprise (sits on the opposite side of the fence)

TFM all good here. Very busy tbh! dd2 is now at that (not so cute) age where she is into everything and dd1 just about to start her settling in sessions at school and ds is a love and football mad so we usually taking him , or watching him at a game! Glad to hear alls good with you and dp. Things good here too!! But your poor ds !!

Something spooky happened to my last post

Ooh they're growing up Lilyloo It's lovely but sad at the same time iykwim. I keep looking at my baby (ds - nearly 5) wondering when he suddenly grew up.

LL, you are soooooo mean!

Lilyloo!! You traitor!! You are supposed to be on our side! Call yourself a Teabag!! Glad all is going well for you. Have you completed all your exams? Have you started teacher training?

Talk about kids growing up, wait until you have a 24yr old!! I still don't feel old enough to be the mum of a 24yr old!!

Dior you sound much brighter. I'm glad your mum is on hand for you. You must do as she says though and ring her if you need anything. Can you ring her and ask her to pop round to see our LadyLush and pick up The Envelope?

Thank you for your lovely words re DS. He is being a real trooper, going out daily and getting all the girls to sign his pot. It contains more telephone numbers than the phone book!! I really feel sorry for him though, he works so hard and really does deserve a break. Excuse the pun!

I bet he adores you TFM

Lol at sending Dior's mum round to nick my envelope

Yep definately growing up too quickly. I still try and hold onto those moments when ds asks me to carry him up to bed He almost as big as me , or when he sits and plays with my hair whilst watching tv!
dd2 is still the baby to us LL but i know whta you mean. I go to toddler group and look at the real small lo's and cannot believe she is 17mth already!!!
I loved not knowing about any of mine and i would have to get rid of the envelope i think. But don't post it to any of this lot
LOL TFM that's what made the teabags wasn't it ?, we didn't always agree but we always talked sense (tongue in cheek )

ooh exams all done , got a c in my maths! Was really pleased.
Haven't started my tt yet! Am going to wait until dd2 starts school i think. Not sure where i will find the time until then!

Well done Lilyloo I only got a D. Fortuitously (especially for my patients!) my numeracy is fine so I don't have a problem with drug calculations.

Lilyloo - well done on passing exam!

I do feel a bit brighter now thanks. I have my beading course tomorrow.

Dior - good old mums eh

I think she meant money to leave

Oh Well at least she is on your side.

LL they?ve mentioned that to me too about measuring how wide you can open your legs before the pain starts and then that is to be part of my ?birth plan? to ensure everyone is aware of the problem and they don?t do anything that could cause me more pain or complications.

I didn?t have a birth plan last time, and this time it was going to be ?just follow the same as last time, couple of hours labour, only gas and air, get home as soon as possible?! I have never really seen any point in a birth plan as I don?t have strong preferences either way, and truly feel like you never know how it will be, or how you will feel, until you?re actually going though it.
May have to re-think that one though!!

Anyway, I am entitled to sick pay, but there is a rule within the company policy that if you are signed off with a ?pregnancy related illness? within the last 11 weeks, that they have the right to start your maternity leave.
I spoke to HR about it and they said they only start your maternity leave as a matter of course, if you are within the last 4 weeks. The rest is at management?s discretion.

However, my boss is the Finance Director. Enough said!

As for holidays, I have saved them all up, but I was tagging them onto the start and end of my time off just so I could have a full 6 months off. I am due to finish 4 weeks before I?m due, take a couple of weeks holiday, then start mat leave. And it?s all going out the window?

I see the midwife today so I?ll see what she says. LL you are right. I really think I should be signed off. Especially when my own staff are saying I look that bad that shouldn?t be here! I really am struggling just to get up and down and walk to the toilet or kitchen. It?s a really difficult one.
Will see what the midwife says. If she even suggests that I?m making it worse for myself by carrying on I will just have to accept defeat and try to work things out with my boss? Am wondering about suggesting reduced hours, or a couple of days a week from home, just to get me through the last few weeks.

I know it doesn?t seem like much, but when it will mean the difference between going back mid January next year, or 2 weeks before Christmas, I know how I?m going to feel!!

H is being fantastic tbh. I actually don?t know what I would have done without him and my mum. He is doing literally everything around the house, from shopping to cooking, washing, ironing etc. ?Cleaning? is H?s definition of ?cleaning?, not necessarily mine but I?m not complaining!
My mum is having ds during the days and for the odd ?sleepover? which has really helped so much.
I even get breakfast in bed before H gets ds ready and then goes to work. He puts him in the car for me (as it?s generally a battle and involves 400 toys that ds absolutely has to take to Grandma?s that day!! And as he?s still doing 2 jobs, he will often finish at 5, come home, do tea, bath ds, do some washing etc, and then go back and work until midnight on his other job. He?ll then text or ring all through the evening and if I?m struggling with anything will come straight back home, help me, then go back. (luckily, both jobs are 5 minutes away.)

Anyway, I shall shut up now! I will let you know what the midwife says later.

TFM your dd sounds adorable
I wondered how ds was too. I know you?ve always been so proud of him. And what a strong and determined young man he?s growing into. It?s a real shame that he?s had so much bad luck. And the injuries too ? ouch!
I think he sounds as though he has the strength to take it all on the chin and realise that these things are sent to try us and will only make him stronger.
I wonder if they could mark him on his work so far and use that as a guide for the end mark? There?s usually something they can do to work around injuries or ill health. Fingers crossed.

I?m glad things are good with DP too. What a massive turnaround. 98% of the time is very good! I think most of us would definitely settle for that!

Lilyloo I can?t believe dd is 17 months! How time flies! I?m with you on enjoying every moment while they?re small, they really do grow up fast.

LL ? OPEN IT!!! Pretty please!

Dior - enjoy your beading course . Every time I try and go to a course one of the dc is ill or they fall in the school holidays.
LL - 17 months where did that time go?
Lush - you are showing great self control. I'd have definitely opened it by now.
TFM - your poor son. What crap luck. Hope he gets better soon and gets through his exams OK.
I went to DP's and made him a cup of tea before work this morning. He's still very down but I think hope he's had enough booze and he's going to sort himself out so we can spend the weekend together. I did spot an empty 3 litre wine box that wasn't there yesterday so he must have drunk it all last night. YUK!!!

Baffy, hope you and your boss manage to come to an agreement. It really sounds like you need to rest .

Ginnny, really glad things went as well as possible with the funeral. You are being a tower of strength to DP - I hope he comes through his grief bender soon - it must be hard for him.

TFM - your poor, poor DS! Makes my 'fat suit' hand sound very trivial (swelling's subsided today!). How mean people can be. Can he claim on insurance for the scooter and bike? Really hope his college can allow for his injuries. The world needs good plumbers and he works so hard. I just read your post to DD and she was well impressed. I don't think anything would get her out of bed at 3am!

Lily, congrats on the exams. I was always crap at maths and struggled to get my 'O' level.

Dior, glad you're feeling brighter - enjoy your course.

HW happy birthday to DD. Looking forward to our lunch - any feelings about lunch dates? I can't do 28 May as I'm getting a haircut.

28th may is in half term - i have said i could meet next thurs and have sent email to dior.

Baffy - we had that rule at work too - and actually i think in some ways it is sensible as people will work up to their due date even when they are not always capable.

Baffy - maybe your suggestion of working from home/reduced hours might work. I'm sure from an HR point of view they should be seen to accomodate the needs of pregnant women - esp. where there are associated health problems. It seems rather inflexible to insist on starting an employee's maternity leave 11 weeks before ewc in the absence of trying an alternative. I don't blame you for not wanting to go back in December. Glad h is being supportive and helping around the house. I bought baby hats today. One white and a pair of blue/white ones. Even if it's a girl she can wear blue. But it will be a boy. I am fairly sure. Still haven't opened envelope. Femur length is 39.3mm at 21+5 so I think it is even more likely that it's a boy.

Feeling a bit down at work at the moment. We've got a new boss. He seemed ok - good even but there have been a few things lately that have put me off him. He sent an email to the whole team which obviously only applied to one or two employees (about conduct)and I don't like that style of management. I think it should be addressed with individual employees.

Hello Ladies

Hope all went well with the midwife Baffy. What a dilemma you are in, it's a bit bad when you have to go to work when you are really not fit to do so. I can understand why they have the 11 week rule but I think in cases where the employee is suffering severe pain and discomfort such as you are, going sick shouldn't affect your maternity leave. Why don't you get your own back by taking mat leave early then going on the sick for a few weeks at the end of it. Chaffed nipples and piles can be very painful and make a person very ill you know

I'm so glad your H is being supportive. Has he earned his 'D' back yet then? He sounds to be being an absolute star, I am so pleased he has come through for you.

You are right about my DS too. He has taken everything in his stride and is just getting on with life. He obviously can't work on the farm (milking cows) but he rang his boss yesterday and arranged to go cut his grass! It's a sit on mower so he was ok. He just amazes me. It seems nothing will hold him back. I wonder where he gets his strength and determination from? I just hope and pray that he is still able to pass his course.

I have witnessed some lovely moments between him and DP. The doing up of the zips, the gently folding back of long sleeves over his pot, are all being taken care of by DP. It's so lovely to see He is really taking good care of him.

Hi Ginny, thank you for your good wishes re DS I do hope DP comes through for you and pulls himself together for the weekend. You deserve a good one.

Thank you to you too Tanee DS already has a claim ongoing for his scooter so hopefully that will be replaced soon. Not that he will be able to drive it! As for the world needing good plumbers, that#e exactly what he says. He is still adamant that he is going to qualify and then move to Australia and earn mega bucks but, considering I can't leave the room without him coming looking for me, or leave the house without him ringing to find out where I am, I am not getting too upset at the prospect of losing him to Oz just yet

LadyLush Don't let your new boss get to you, not yet anyway. He is new and he is a man so he will be throwing his weight about a bit and marking his territory. I think the fact he sent the email rather than speak to people face to face shows he hasn't quite got the confidence he would like to have Give him a couple more months and if he is still acting like a prize knob then give him the full brunt of your pregnancy hormones!!
Oh, and your theory about the length of the femur. Weeelll, my inside leg measures 33ins so it could still be a girl, a girl with long legs. Now, if you just open the envelope..........
I bet you are one of those people who can have presents under the tree for the whole of December and not even give them a squeeze or a shake. Not like me, I open them have a look and rewrap them! You are just too good!! You do realise that by not opening the envelope you are risking the chance of a very long labour, it's a well known fact you know. The cervix takes as long to open as the envelope

Dior, so glad to hear you are feeling a bit brighter today. I hope your day was good

Hi to everyone else. Have a lovely weekend everyone!

Ha ha TFM - you are funny Your ds sounds delightful. I'm sure he will b a fantastic dp for someone Yes you could be right. I also have an inside leg of 33inches - at least I used to. I think I may well be shrinking Re. boss - I think you're right about his motives. It's weird because he tries to engage in small talk yet then does something like sending that email.

Erm, I am really thinking relationship is over .

Today, we were going to drop ds off at Scout Camp for the night and he told me that my birki-style shoes might not be suitable in a field, as it had rained alot in the last 24 hours. Fair enough, but I decided to continue wearing them - my choice. I said I was going to wear them and he kept going on, 'Wear your trainers, wear your walking boots'. I just ignored him and asked if we were all ready. He tried saying, 'Your lovely newly painted toes and white shoes might get covered in mud', and I continued rounding everything up to leave.

He then asked if I was ignoring him. I said, 'I am an adult and have decided to wear these shoes'. So he then started ignoring me and being huffy . I stood my ground and said, 'I can't believe you are ignoring me, just because I want to wear these shoes. I would never dream of telling you what to wear and then getting in a mood if you didn't do as I said.' He got the hint and managed to get out of his strop thank God.

All over a pair of flip-flops

The thing is, earlier he was going on about why I was making an effort in how I looked, just to drop ds off at Scout camp. All I had done was paint my (sorely needed) toenails and add a little mascara and lip-gloss. He kept asking me why I was 'dressing up'.

It's all so much hard work and I need some affection/action (). I'm not going to get it from him unless I clearly make an effort to lose weight and now I am beginning to resent that. I don't think I WANT him near me now .

HW - have responded to your email - can't do next Thursday. Next week, I can only do Monday tbh. Can we do the week after half-term?

hi girls, posting from phone so this will be brief, it's a slooooow process!

Just had to say WELL DONE DIOR!! I am so pleased you stood your ground. I am even more convinced of his insecurity, he wanted you to cover up a part of you that had caught his attention and found attractive. He didnt want anyone else to think the same, hence nagging you to put your trainers on. you should be feeling empowered!

LL your boss is displaying typical passive aggressive behaviour. He is finding his feet, trying to assert himself while trying to be nice at the same time. He is going to tie himself in knots at this rate and lose any respect he may have.

Now, back to the envelope, have you tried holding it over a lightbulb? That works a treat, don't ask me how i know if u see 4 letters its a girl and 3 its a boy, simple! We need to know LL, we have to start choosing names!

TFM your ds is not permitted to go to Oz - we need him here! REALLY pleased to hear how DP is helping him. Your DP is being a star at the moment, long may it last . Not sure how my DP would cope if he had to look after DD at the moment ...

LL your boss sounds a lot like mine. He does the same thing - round robin emails and not very nicely worded. Then he can be an absolute sweetie. It's very confusing. He annoys the hell out of my immediate line manager, I know she finds him very difficult and I suspect some of the problems I've had at work this week, stem from him.

Dior, well done you . Just keep standing up to him. Eat a Milky Way right under his nose. Better still eat TWO Milky Ways ! I think TFM has absolutely hit it on the head - especially with his comments about why you were 'tarting yourself up'. He didn't want all those little scouts and scout masters admiring his 'possession' -even though he isn't doing anything in the affection/hugs/line to ensure your interest in him. It may not be the end of the relationship - keep going in this vein and you may just show him what he stands in danger of losing.

Re lunch - I don't think I'll be able to do the Thursday after half term as that's Euroelections day & I may be needed at work. But any Thursday after that - or if not, just arrange a day and I will take a day off work (after last week, I feel within my rights and I have lots of leave due...)

So Tanee - you probably can't say but what do you think about the expenses fiasco? Tbh I can't imagine why it's only a scandal now. Surely everyone knows that the system is open to corruption - and even when MPs follow the rules they're still sitting pretty at the tax payers expense. Why is it only now that people are getting angry? Because of the economy? Oh purleeeeese. The media are making a meal of it aren't they.

Tanee - at least you have a line manager. This guy is my line manager. I have a problem working for people I don't trust. That's why I left my last job.