FAB & GLAM PART 9 - DOES IT GET BETTER NOW!!

[macdoodle]

Started new thread guys as needed to post and old one wouldnt let me - sorry if name is bit miserable but thats how am feeling !

The police have just left
It all went tits up tonight - H found out/suspected about NM and lost it completely - was physically abusive and took my phone - best friend called the police!
Has been a hell of a night - long statement - excellent police man - who says should have called them a long time ago - gonna get the domestic violence team to ring me tomorrow - he will be arrested and probably cautioned - he seems really worried it will escalate - has put a marker on the phone for an immediate response, has adviced me to change the locks and go away for a bit if I can, and they will look at putting an alarm in the house
There is still a part of me that feels I am over reacting/is all my fault - even though an experienced police oficer is not happy about the situation!
What a mess my life has turned into

and its not just size it is about how fit you are - and actually for over 40 with 4 dc i think i am actually pretty fit. Also dont have many wrinkles (which i want to keep at bay for as long as possible).

Dior - it is so easy to spot the faults in oursleves but harder to actually praise ourselves. And thats coming from me.

I agree HW. The trouble is we are 'size' obsessed. Every where you turn there is a magazine with yet another diet advertised on the cover. It really annoys me to see celebrities claiming to have lost '3 stone in just 8 weeks', when what they have actually done is give birth and lose baby weight.

I think I look pretty good for my age too, 44 and a half and 4 children later I don't have any wrinkles, my boobies are still where God put them and after all this walking my bottom has nicely returned to where it should be. I think being happy and smiling a lot makes a lot of difference, not focussing on what you consider to be bad bits about yourself. Positive Mental Attitude has far more benefits than a starvation diet!

TFM - I like to think I put on a good front and don't walk around with a miserable face, so hopefully people should not be put off approaching me. I just seem to want to be alone and shut myself away in the house, which I know only exacerbates the problem.

I am having a bad day today, paranoid and down. I have already fallen off the food wagon . (Or should that be 'fallen into it'!!!)

Last night, I was having an early sleep on the bed and h came in and asked if I wanted him to come and watch tv on the bed with me. My first thought was to say no, but I just said ok, so he did. I am trying to challenge lots of views he holds at the moment, some of the most recent being about ds, and he does seem to be listening to me, so maybe there is some hope.

I am sure you do Dior and I am also sure people wouldn't be put off approaching you except for the ones who would feel a little dull stood next to the Liz Hurley look a like

You know, there's nothing wrong with wanting to shut yourself away and be on your own. It can be quite a positive thing, it gives you time to just 'be', time to think and chill. I love my own company and am quite happy to lock the door when I get back from school. I can imagine that's not so good though if you are usually as sociable person and like to be amongst other people most of the time.

In what way are you feeling paranoid? Can we help?

Can I tell you what I think? I think you keep a lot inside, that you don't talk so much about how you feel and what's going on inside. I think this is because you somehow think you are to blame for how you feel and so don't deserve to be heard, don't deserve any sympathy. Now, I could be wrong, it has been known but, if I happen to be right then I want you to know that that is absolutely not true. You deserve to be heard as much as anyone else ans we would love to 'hear' you pour your heart out about everything that troubles you, we would love to help you. I for one feel really sad when I read some of your posts. I don't know why but I get the feeling that we are only hearing little snippets of how you feel.

And please don't worry about the food side of things. If you are feeling as down as I think you are then you should treat yourself kindly and eat whatever you need to eat to make yourself feel better. I've been known to polish off a huge family size bar of cadburys chocolate, all by myself!! Dipped in milky coffee, Mmmm, lovely!

Well done on the progress made last night too. There is always hope Dior, it may not be where you want it to be, it may not be so obvious or jump right out at you but, it is always there somewhere xx

Wow looks like I've missed a lot!

Hello TFM

I am suffering with awful SPD at the moment so having a nightmare! Will try to catch up now

Hi Baffy

Ouch! You have my sympathy re the SPD. Are you off work with it?

I won't get carried away with too many questions at this stage, I will let you catch up with the thread

Dior - I hope you are ok

Hi Baffy - hope you are not in too much pain.

TFM - I'm ok thanks, but have had a very down day. I helped in ds' class today and some of the children always come up to me and hug me, which is lovely. I had coffee with a friend today, before we both had to pick our children from the same after-school club. We discussed a lot of things and she told me about 'Love Languages'. I am going to borrow her book as it sounds fascinating and very relevant to my relationship with Mark. It might make us both learn a lot about how we treat each other and need to be treated in return.

I must admit to feeling a bit unsociable today, but I had a lovely text from another friend and it nearly made me cry. I am a lucky Dior to have so many people who like to spend time with me and think of me during the day, so I know I shouldn't feel so down.

Me, me, me again.

Tanee and HW - let's do lunch very soon - I need dragging out of this mental pit.

That all sounds lovely Dior and very positive. I have been thinking of you today, I wish there was something i could do to help you.

I don't know if you are aware but you have posted the name of your H in that last post. Just thought I would point it out incase you didn't want it to be there

Have a lovely evening!

Thanks TFM - I won't delete it because I don't want the whole post to go. But thanks for pointing it out. I am usually very careful...oh, well, it's a common name!

lunch anytime - i am now working weds and fri so pick a day (cant do next tues either).

Now if you need to talk more??? Better not have lunch with me then.

Hi all
Had scan yesterday. All well with baby Didn't find out the sex. The sonographer wrote it down on a piece of paper then put it in an envelope for us to look at if we wanted to. However, when I asked her how sure she is, she said she wouldn't bet her life on it because it wasn't a great view. So I told dh that I didn't want to peek in the envelope. He went to work with it and denies peeking so far It looks like being another long baby - femur length at top of scale.

Baffy - I do sympathise. I had SPD in my first pregnancy and it was so painful. I've had twinges this time but nothing conclusive yet. I have investigated an osteopath just in case though. Physio did nothing for me last time.

Hi LL Gosh! Aren't you good!! I am dying to know what's in that envelope!! Will you really be able to resist?? I'm so pleased to hear that everything is going well, that's really good news

Now, if you get the urge to steam open the envelope and take a peek, don't for get to let us know will you

Lol TFM Yes I think everyone else is more impatient than us tbh. H's work colleagues (all women) were on at him all day to open the envelope.

Good Morning Everyone!! Just checking in to see if the envelope has been opened yet?? If you hold it up to the light LL can you see through the envelope?

Hi to everyone else

How are you feeling today Dior?

Down, sorry.

About to do my ironing while watching Create and Craft on the laptop though so might cheer up...

OPEN THE ENVELOPE...!

No need for apologies Dior I hope Create and Craft does the job!

Yes! OPEN THE ENVELOPE!!

Open the envelope!

Baffy -ouch - hope it eases soon.

Dior & HW - Thursdays are good for me. I've been in a crap mood too, so a girls' lunch and natter would do me the world of good!

Right, I am still in my dressing gown at 11.30 this is NOT ON! I am going now. Really (TFM is thinking, yees, she said that earlier....)

I hate being asked to put it in an envelope and i would only ever tell someone if i was pretty sure of the sex. I would also try and include a photo of said area so the couple could study and understand why i said what i did.

So now not only do we have to bet on the sex but how long before the envelope gets opened.

I give you until bank holiday weekend - thats a couple of weeks of guessing. Of courese once you find out there is no going back, but it does help with bonding imo.

Enjoy your ironing doir.

Dont worry tannee i have to go out soon and instead of tidying up i am playing on the computer - oh yeah and waiting for the kettle to boil.

I am now officially mum to 2 teens - DD birthday today.

Happy birthday HW?s dd. I?m dreading the teen stage already!

TFM I am back in work now. Just! I was signed off last week as I didn?t realise that I had a ?condition? or that the pain was something so serious. I?d never heard of it, and didn?t have it last time, so I just put the pain down to ?one of those pregnancy things? and carried on regardless.

It was only when I got to a stage where I almost couldn?t stand up, and finally went to the doctor, that it was diagnosed and I was ordered to have immediate bed rest to try and sort me out! The physio was really helpful and gave me a good list of do?s and dont?s . But there?s not much they can do until the baby comes.

I?m in work as I really can?t afford to finish yet. But I feel like they are going to send me home any minute as I am getting worse by the day and even getting up to make a cup of tea is a struggle and people are noticing.
But the bills won?t pay themselves will they

LL did you get any good advice last time? They?ve scared me by saying the problems could continue after the birth. The doctor also said if my pelvis does separate, then the only solution is an operation and external ?pins? to hold it back together?!

They also said I now can?t have just a normal labour where I lie on my back like last time I?m seeing the midwife tomorrow so hoping to get some answers ? but I must admit I?m really scared.

Doctor advised me to look at the web site pelvicinstability.org.uk and that's made me worse!

I need to be in work for the money. Desperately. But I know that I need to put myself and my health first too.

Anyway, enough about me. Dior I hope you?re doing ok and listening to all the advice on here? Sounds like you have some very special friends and I think that says a lot about a person. (We get to choose our friends and we stay friends with them for a reason)

LL send me the envelope and I promise I?ll seal it up and send it back! I hate surprises!!

TFM how?s things with you? And how is dd getting on?

Baffy . I have heard that this is really painful. Poor you x

Baffy. That sounds awful you poor thing.
LL OPEN IT OPEN IT OPEN IT. I never found out with either of mine (although sonographer let it slip with ds2 and referred to him as 'he') but I couldn't have an envelope and not open it. It would drive me insane.
Dior - hope you enjoyed your Create & Craft. My Mum loves it and spends a fortune gets lots of good ideas on it.
Well the funeral went very well yesterday considering what a sad day it was and the worst weather possible, I think we gave her a good send off and she would have been very proud. I drunk quite a lot of g&t's and feel horribly hungover this morning. DP has gone to the pub today but I'm letting him get on with it. I am looking forward to putting the dc to bed then its a long hot soak and an early night for me.

Ginnny - glad the funeral went as well as could be expected. I can understand why today of all days dp wants to drink. It must be very hard for him

Baffy - it sounds as though you have a very bad case of SPD. Mine disappeared after the birth. It did re-emerge a bit but wasn't as bad as before and it seemed to be only when I had lochia so went completely 4 weeks after the birth. I was told that you are supposed to be measured to see how far you can spread your legs before experiencing pain but tbh all that went out of the window. I had my legs in stirrups because I had an assisted delivery. Thankfully there was no damage. As I said, the physio was crap. However, Osteopathy is supposed to be helpful. As for work, you should be signed off sick surely? Are you entitled to sick pay? I'd have thought you would be. How's it going with h?

Dior, TFM and Tanee - STOP IT . You're not helping The envelope remains unopened. Though I do confess that I held it up to the light on Monday and could only see the word "I". Hmmm.

HW - it was her suggestion to put it in an envelope. Maybe so that she could get rid of us and get the next one in

I still think it's a boy. Baffy, Ginnny and I can go on about "our boys"

Oh and you can stop as well Ginnny Honestly, call yourself virtual friends

Huh! If you were a proper virtual friend LL you would post the envelope to one of us so we could find out what our new baby is going to be! So there!!

Look, you can trust us, we won't tell your DH if you have a peep.

Ginny, glad today went as well as today could and am extra glad to hear that you are leaving DP to it. You will be feeling exhausted and emotionally drained enough without having all of his baggage to cope with. You enjoy your bath

Baffy, I posted a really long post to you earlier and then MN went down!! I sympathised with you for the pain you are in and did my mother hen bit by asking if you had any holidays you could take, just to get a couple of weeks rest. It's an awful position for you to be in, stuck between a rock and a hard place. When do you go on maternity leave and how long are you able to take off afterwards? I hope H is being helpful and supportive.

DD is wonderful thank you she is really growing up. She has lost both of her front teeth now but she looks ever so cute.

DS has had a run of bad luck, poor lad. He had his scooter, his pride and joy, stolen from outside his dads so he has being going to his job on the farm on his pushbike. He gets up at 3am goes to work then comes home at 7.30am showers and goes to college where he is studying plumbing. He is working everso hard. But,, he came off his bike on Saturday, has broken his nose, his thumb and his arm in three places. Then, while h as at the hospital someone stole his bike! The ambulance man had put it over a wall so that we could go collect it. It was only there just over an hour but it was gone when we went back for it. So, I'm worried now that he won't pass his course, he is in the middle of assessments and unable to continue with his practical. It would be terrible if he couldn't complete it after all his hard work.

Other than that everything else is going great. DP is DP again and we live together in harmony 98% of the time. The other 2% is due to either PMT or me feeling bored and in need of a bit of drama! He still gets on my nerves occasionally but he is a man so that's to be expected

Right, enough about me. Now LL get that envelope opened!!!

TFM I bet your dd looks adorable without her front teeth Your poor ds - so unfair Hope he makes a speedy recovery and has a good run of luck to make up for the rubbish luck he's had.

And no................not relenting