Ginny what a nightmare. I hate it when people use children?s arguments or fights as a reason to cause rifts between adults. Surely the definition of an ?adult? is that we should be able to see the behaviour for what it is and find a way of dealing with it.
She clearly just wanted an excuse. And I know it?s really sad for all of you, especially the family gatherings, and for your Mum, but people like her can?t be reasoned with can they. Good on you for telling it like it is!
WW nice to see you, how are you?
Thanks everyone, I really appreciate the support.
He didn?t take ds (I believe this resulted in an almighty row with OW where she declared she is ?so sick of being let down by him? that she wants nothing more to do with him )
Could that be because it was then the weekend so her NM and parents would have been off work and around to help her! I?m sure that won?t last for the rest of today, let alone this week.
But anyway, it?s the absolute first time he has ever said no to her. And the baby is what, a couple of weeks old, and she has called randomly many times already and he has not once failed to go round and help. This really was the first time.
Anyway, he decided not to go as although I?d said it was ok for ds, he knew deep down it wasn?t ok and given everything I have going on right now (he?s seen me in tears more than once this week, but I won?t bore you all with it all) he decided he wasn?t going to do it.
Regardless of that however, I did let him have it! I started off quite calm, just explaining that ds and I are coming first now, I want nothing more to do with OW or the child and he is to keep that part of his life separate etc. But I have to say, I did end up in tears, ranting a raving about the fact that I?m sick to f* ing death of our lives revolving around this teenage slapper and it stops now.
Actually, 3 days on, I?m still just as angry about it and I?m glad I had my say.
He was fairly quiet really. Shell shocked perhaps. And said that he would no longer discuss anything about OW to me, and would never bring me into any of it again. Including the fact that if he is with ds, then ds comes first and OW will have to wait until he?s free.
I made it really clear that ds is not to see OW or the baby until I say so, and I swear if I find out he has gone against my wishes it will be the last thing he ever does!!
We?ll see?
I said it was pathetic that we were going through all this and we still don?t know if she?s his baby.
He said something about her saying paternity tests are expensive ? does anyone know anything about them? How you go about getting them done and whether they are expensive?
Also, OW said she?d decided that although she wants the maintenance payments and H at her beck and call, she doesn?t want him having a say in anything to do with the baby?s upbringing. So she has not named him on the birth certificate!
It?s just all one big soap opera. It?s a bloody joke.
Anyway, I also made it clear that if any of this is to work, he needs to agree set times with his children. That he sticks to. And that removes all of this crap about him trying to divide his time between ds and his demanding nut job ex. He?s created these two separate lives, so he needs to find a way of managing his time so that he can see his children and have some boundaries so that everyone knows where they stand.
I could go on forever. He?s saying he?ll sort the paternity test, sort out set access times, and keep me out of it. I?ll believe it all when I see it.
Best I can do for now is keep myself and ds as far out of the situation as possible. Before I explode. I?m not sure if I want to scream and shout, or just collapse and hide away forever right now. I don?t think I?ve ever felt so low in my life.
Like it or not, if this is a sister to my boys then I guess they are in our lives forever and I have to find a way of dealing with it.