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Original poster

'The Other Woman'....

164 replies

TheOtherWoman · 17/01/2009 23:48

Is there anyone else out there that's a mistress? And is quite happy just being 'the other woman'?

Before anyone says anything, i'm not a troll, i'm a regular that changed their name to protect myself.

I'm a single mum, and have been seeing a lovely bloke on and off for the past five years, and he is my childrens father. I'm under no illusions - he's not going to leave his wife and kids, and i don't want him to. I wouldn;t ask nor expect him to. We've tried several times to end our relationship, but we keep coming back to each other - it's like a moth to a flame.

So, are there any other happy mistresses out there?

OP posts:
Judy1234 · 18/01/2009 18:07

Same with the lover of the man I know apparently.I've never seen her write other than happily in her blog about him and what he's given her in terms of time, love, care and sex of course and she too apparently doesn't like being with a man 24/7.

people live in different ways and smug marrieds often assume they have some nirvana of perfection that every one else outside is wanting to get into and they're are often wrong. My sister genuinely wanted children and not a man and was happy to pay a lot of sperm donor IVF. I am much happier single than when I was in my long not happy marriage.

preggydonuts · 18/01/2009 18:19

I just think there are ' horses for courses'.
I just found someone incredibly tactile and loving. he made me feel calm and appreciated. He always has the biggest smile on his face when I saw him. He did things for me that NO ONE has ever done before.
In return I had to live with the fact he also did that for someone else......

macdoodle · 18/01/2009 18:40

barf ......

preggydonuts · 18/01/2009 18:43

She asked.......
I told........
But never had it done to me so just my perspective

BodyBagBastard · 18/01/2009 18:44

if you don't want to be with someone 24/7 simply find a man who is not married willing to do the same.

or can't you find one ?
suprise suprise

preggydonuts · 18/01/2009 18:46

Why does it have to be so personal?
Why do you think I can't find one?

BodyBagBastard · 18/01/2009 18:48

well why?

if you don't want to be with someone 24/7 simply find a man who is not married willing to do the same.?

MadameCastafiore · 18/01/2009 18:51

Blimey could you lie to anymore people?

The mother knows and the grandmother and you are lying to your kids about their parentage and your ex husband - you sound like an evil, dispicable cow to be honest.

And if you are fool enough to believe a man who tells you he isn't happy but isn't leaving his wife because of the kids you are deserving of the whole heap of shit that will one day befall you on account of your lies!

God, and you are being allowed to bring up children - I hope to god they have another decent adult in their lives to be a role model & to teach them some morals.

AnyFucker · 18/01/2009 18:55

< sharp intake of breath >

Divineintervention · 18/01/2009 18:58

What I don't get is the need for lack of commitment can only be filled by a married man? What about most of the men I met before my DH, none of them wanted 24/7.

BodyBagBastard · 18/01/2009 19:07

here here divine.

preggydonuts · 18/01/2009 19:12

Didn't say another man couldn't fulfill that criteria. Just that he happened to be married.
Not proud of it but it did work......
I know this is a sore point for some people but I don't think personal attacks are helpful......
Would be like me questioning what you weren't doing to make your husband cheat on you? If thats the case.......

hidingidentity · 18/01/2009 19:13

My DH is infertile and we used a sperm donor - I have done a lot of research into complicated parentage as a result and all the evidence shows that your children will find out that you lied to them about their father and that it will make them very bitter (or worse). Even taking all of the lies and problems with the adults out of the equation - how can you be happy doing that to your children?

macdoodle · 18/01/2009 19:19

Preggy you have some serious issues go deal with them then come back a calmer wiser less bitter person

bananaknickers · 18/01/2009 19:29

So he stays for the sake of his children.....What about his children with you? What a mess. I can't belive you are happy with this. His poor wife.

And for his mother knowing all about it. Shame on her.What a woman she sounds with no morals whatsoever.

HolyGuacamole · 18/01/2009 19:35

Has the OP been back on?

dsrplus8 · 18/01/2009 19:36

why are you lying to your children? , whatever mess you get yourself into , you should never lie to your kids< shakes head in disbelief> .

preggydonuts · 18/01/2009 19:39

I am not bitter.....
I just feel no one has the right to judge....
I know whats normal but a lot of people don't live normal lives

oldraver · 18/01/2009 19:55

macdoodle do you have to be so nasty and bitchy... why dont you take some of your own advice. Preggy isnt the one being bitter here but there IS lot of nasty bitterness from a lot of posters.

MarlaSinger · 18/01/2009 19:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

preggydonuts · 18/01/2009 20:10

It isn't to you but it is to some.....
I just think that there are some unusual set ups.
Of course people have the right to be bitter but not personal. Its a discussion forum after all and we are all mothers.....

Lilyloo · 18/01/2009 20:12

Would be like me questioning what you weren't doing to make your husband cheat on you?

And we go round again.

I can only say i find the fact that most women on here do find thsi shcking every time these threads pop by.

How is McDoodle being bitchy oldraver ?
So you lie to your children , their grandparents etc lie to their other grandchildren , your partner lies to your childrens stepbrothers sisters never mind the wife 'who obviously isn't doing something to makehim happy' yawwwwwn have we heard that one before ?

This thread is very

oldraver · 18/01/2009 20:20

Marla, yes people do HAVE the right to be be bitter if they want but much of the bitterness on here is being used to make personal attacks

Lily she wa sbeing bitchy toward Preggie and there was no need for such a personal attack

At no time was I not saying it was ok to lie to your children... I was concerned with the nastiness toward some posters

Now I wonder why some men wander

roddersb · 18/01/2009 20:36

This thread has obviously hit a lot of raw nerves and I am not surprised. I was cheated on by the father of my son and the worst part was knowing that other people had known before I did.

macdoodle · 18/01/2009 20:40

Some men wander because they are selfish, self absorbed fuckwits, who never give shit for anyone but themselves.....some of them are so insiduously abusive that it is not even apparant to the W that they are abusive!!!
FWIW I think both preggy and the OP are victims of such men ...but by blaming the wives for the mens fuck ups and some how absolving themselves makes me yes angry (spitting angry)...it has taken me a very long time to stop blaming the OW for my H wandering , so now I blame him, for her I just retain pity and disgust at her failed morals and weakness ! The ONE person i dont blame is MYSELF, not anymore not ever again

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