Do men orgasm every time they have sex?

[Rabbittingon]

My first partner did. As did I. I thought that was normal.

Yet, with other people, I often don't (but that's ok) and sometimes they don't. One of them was impotent so getting it up was a big deal and I am not surprised that he didn't ejaculate but my new partner doesn't always either. And he is very good in bed. Is it that I am rubbish? Or is it normal for a man not to ejaculate?

Am very embarrassed to ask this.

---

If you've found this page in your search of the best couples sex toys that have been recommended by fellow Mumsnet users, you might find our guide to the best sex toys for couples useful. Hope this helps! MNHQ

I have had blokes not come if they were pissed.

Not pissed, but thanks.

just asked a man. he says nope.

he now wants to know who's asking and how old they are

Well, i'm obviously a bit crap, so I doubt he'd be interested.

So, now I need to work out what to do about it

Rabbit dont worry about it.

Sometimes it can happen (or not as it goes ) if he is stressed or tiredness can be a cause too.

Also age could be a big factor am sure its not you.

Chin up and smile deary ;)

Thanks mamadiva

It's a new-ish relationship. We're both 30.

He doesn't have any other problems and he's very keen - only see each other a couple of times a week but when we are together he's often up for it (scuse the pun) 3 or 4 times a night

am so embarrassed, posting this

Men don't always orgasm when they ejaculate. Its a common myth that they do.

There are many reasons why they don't; tiredness, stress, alcohol, uncomfortable situation (scared someone may walk in), just not feeling horny (but maybe he felt obliged)

Pretty much the same reasons why a woman doesn't always have an orgasm and I am 100% sure it is nothing to do with you. Lets face it, men can orgasm even if the woman just lies there doing nothing so, a woman's 'performance' is not really part of the equation.

3 or 4 times a night may be the real reason though!!

Well, I did think of that! But it sometimes doesn't happen the 1st time but will the 2nd. And there is NO pressure on him for repeat performances. I'm quite happy with just once. I hope he doesn't feel obliged.

It's not a problem for me, I just wondered and was worried. He does say reassuring things though, so am hoping it isn't me.

Its a new relationship so I'm guessing he is keen to impress (hence 3/4 times a night) I'm sure things will calm down soon!

And I personally wouldn't be worried at all, he's obviously very keen and interested

He might be on anti-depressants(or another form of medication), they can cause problems with climaxing.

i dont suppose its that unusual its just that men dont talk about it. its definately not you. just remember that everyone is different so just because your ex might have come every time doesnt mean that your current partner will.
Also the fact that you are at it 3-4 times a night might be the reason he is not every time. Probably faaar too excited..lol

From what I know, most (youngish) men orgasm and ejaculate nearly every time they have sex. But some don't do either, sometimes (even when not pissed/ill/tired). It varies. And as he says, it isn't you - it's just how he is.

He's being clear and honest with you, which is good - I've known men who were nervous around all this, and would hide the fact they hadn't ejaculated (hide the condom, in other words!).

i had 2 relationships where the guy didn't orgasm every time - with one he was on meds but the other guy stopped having that problem after a while - guess he just relaxed more maybe? women don't always orgasm - why should men be like clockwork robots? everyone is diffrernt!

the man i asked either comes in minutes or keeps going for riduclously long time where usually we both say oh fuck this let's go to sleep.

I am a bit confused here

Does orgasm = ejaculation (for men)

So is anyone saying a man can orgasm without ejaculation and vice versa ??

Every bloke I have slept with has ejaculated unless he was pissed/very chilled from other mind-altering substances. In that case I would call it temporary erectile dysfunction, not lack of orgasm.

Woemn are different, I think

Dp has struggled to orgasm due to a combination of depression and then side-effects of anti-depressants so we can sometimes have sex without him ever reaching a climax.

This is helpful, thanks.

Nappy, that is sometimes what happens.

Don't want to question him about it yet for fear of upsetting him or seeming dissatisfied.

Some men can orgasm without ejaculating, from running dry, or from good pelvic floor. I think some men ejaculate without orgasming, too.

nqc, when you say some men can ejaculate without orgasming, I don't know what you mean

surely the very physical process that is ejaculation gives the feelings of orgasm (the waves of nice feeling or whatever)

we need a bloke on this thread

nqc, when you say some men can ejaculate without orgasming, I don't know what you mean

surely the very physical process that is ejaculation gives the feelings of orgasm (the waves of nice feeling or whatever)

we need a bloke on this thread

oops

Yes please to bloke on this thread