Sure can
It's an excuse by the other people to make them feel better.
The bottom line is no one makes you do what you don't want, it's your conscience and no one elses.
Sorry to sound harsh. Been on the receivng end. And can I say rather unbitchily that she wasn't that attractive at all. Seriously. It was just because she appealed to him, by agreeing with all his ideas, his thoughts, fluttering her eyelashes at him, listening to his problems.
when you are looking after children, cleaning vomit off yourself, crayon off the walls, changing numerous napppies, rushing here there and everywhere, dealing with family stresses, working, plus your normal time of the month crap, plus trying to be understanding to your other half, accomodate all their needs, sometimes, just somtimes.. you don't want to be going "let me fulfil all your fantasies". Because that involves a) removing hair from areas that take more that a quick shave because you never have time to do it B)looking at yourself in the mirror and sucking in your tummy, thinking, darn those stretch marks and will my tummy EVER look normal, c) putting on more make up e) trying to make your hair resemble less of a bush and more of a sleek sexy style d) finding some sexy underwear.
Now when you are out with children, they are having tantrums in a shop, lieing on the floor, runnning in to old people, screaming because their gloves come off or running away, when, just when, do you get the chance to buy sexy underwear?
And then you've got to get back home, put dinner on, tidy up, although you've already tidied up six times that day, deal with the late afternoon child madness, think about what you've got to do tomorrow etc etc.
So plllllllleaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaassssseeee it would be so easy to say I give this all up and someone else can do it, I'm off to have an affair with some hunk named Julio, who doesn't leave his pants on the floor, doesn't fart in bed, doesn't go out with his mates all the time, asks me how I'm feeling or offers to make dinner. BUT I'd rather not, because I married for better or for worse and obvisouly I'm not talking about people who suffering terribly at the hands of an abusive spouse, or someone who has a spouse with addiction problems - I'm saying there is always someone else out there who you think could make you feel better, who may seem better in some respects but somemtimes peope do get this "grass is greener" complex. Thats when men find women who haven't got vomit on them, or who have flat stomachs and can go out without having to get a babysitter, or who can talk about things apart from the latest nappies seem much more appealing.
But I've spoken with people who've had affairs and they've deeply regretted what they've done and some do realise how lucky they were to have what they had in the first place.
Obviously this doesn't sit with all situations so don't shout at me!
I'm off to eat some bloody big chocolate