Is it acceptable for a married man to call on a single woman after the pub shuts?

[harman]

Message withdrawn

The OP was asking whether as a general principle, given that nothing out of order happened, would we be annoyed if our DH/DP went to some woman's house for coffee after the pub instead of going straight home. It doesn't really matter what the facts or circs are over and above that, does it? Some posters would be okay with it, some posters wouldn't. Not sure there's an awful lot more to be gleaned from anyone speculating about it, is there? Freckle's advice is very good, harman - you've done nothing wrong, but as you can't know what is going on in married man's relationship, it might be best to give him a wider berth from now on.

thanks CliffRichardSucksEggsInHell could you shut the door on your way out?

SixSpotBurnet - the difference AFAIC is that in your example they were all friends. OP says that she doesn't know these guys very well - they're just regulars in the same pub.

Friends going back to each other's houses for more drink - not an issue at all.

well I don't have a dh but I LAUGH at any woman who tells me that they would be complete okay with their dhs going off with 2 single, presumably drunk women back to their flat for "coffee" once the pub has closed.

It's these same women who will be posting about their dh having an affair somewhere down the line.

The point is if I currently had a dh, I would trust him not to do this sort of thing in the first place.

Oh sorry, should have put a smiley there so chamomile would know it's just a jokey little dig! Obviously!

Vinegar is spot on.

tee hee @ cliff.

I have known old friends to get off with each other at the end of a drunken night out! The issue is surely whether you trust your DH/DP - not whether they are out with an old friend or a new acquaintance?

Come on ladies, most men think with their nobs, they wouldnt accept an invite like this if they werent 'interested'

His wife might be glad that the git is out of her hair for a few more hours.

She probaly trusts him. What woman in her right mind would fancy a bloke that was up the pub every night anyway? He isn't exactly a good catch.

LOL, bananaknickers. That's certainly a valid point!

Well, I trust DH because he behaves in a manner which engenders trust. If he went to someone's house "for coffee" and he didn't know her very well, and everyone else there was single, then I would wonder tbh.

Too simplistic to say it's purely about trust vs having a suspicious mind.

Wow, paranoia is such an awful thing. Why do you all feel the need to spread it amongst others?

Believe it or not there are some men who are faithful. Yes really, shocking isn't it?

My DH has single mates. He frequently goes drinking with them and yes, they sometimes end up somewhere after the pub and (OMG!) there might be women there. Oh and they drink coffee too (usually in an attempt to sober up enough to walk home in a straight line). It is not a shagfest. He would invite them back here, singles and all, except that is likely to get him shot. WTF would I want a rabble of pissheads in my lounge after closing time when some other poor sucker can have them instead?

But I don't give a shit about any of it because I love and trust him, same as he loves and trusts me.

I think most trustworthy men would decline the invitation in the first place.

Exactly Vinegar.

Because ChiefElf (sorry, I just cannot spell it wrong!), each situation is different.

If you read the OP and subsequent posts you get the impression that in this occasion, it was the wrong thing to do.

I reckon Harman probably knows that herself, which is why she started the thread.

No, it's not acceptable imo. A man making contact with a woman in the evening, whether meeting or by text usually has sexual connotations ime...

Actually, seriously. I would be upset that DH would prefer to spend this time with other women and not come home and spend time with me. It is not a trust thing, but I would worry about our relationship. I love spending time with DH.

If it happened one in a blue moon then fine, but this man is in the pub most nights instead of investing his time in his family

You're describing a different scenario ChiefElf, as cliff says. Harman's guests were not her mates.

My dh is faithful. I am not paranoid. But no I wouldn't like him doing this. Stop judging other people and their relationships just because they work a bit differently to yours.

Totally agree bananaknickers.