Is it acceptable for a married man to call on a single woman after the pub shuts?

[harman]

Message withdrawn

And if you had the temerity to call a man who you knew was married and was married to ME I'd say you deserved whatever you got.

Not on imo.

My dh would not cross the door of another woman's house without me knowing about it - unless it was a good mutual friend.

(I'm assuming his wife doesn't know - but maybe she does?)

Did you invite them for coffee? or did they invite themselves?

I can honestly say the only reason i would let a guy come back to mine for coffee, was if i fancied him, or my friend did.

I do think you are being naive, and its not something you should make a habbit of, people will talk even if it is innocent.

If you are asking me Cliff, no it wouldn't bother me in the slightest. I would want to know where he had been in the sense of how his evening had gone and did he enjoy it, and he'd tell me because he's like that and wouldn't have anything to hide.

Really? Well I think you're in the minority there then. Just look at all the affair threads - a lot of wives can't trust their dh's unfortunately. Even if his reasons were innocent, I'd want to know why a single woman would invite 2 men she barely knows to her house. Mate or no mate, surely that's a bit of a foolhardy thing to do anyway?

Harman, I'd go with the majority on this one and leave well alone in the future.

I am interested in the real reason you are asking.

If neither of you are interested in them why did you invite them back?

Very very good point!

That's the thing - I do trust him. If it had been dh in this situation he'd go back to Harman's house as he fancied a coffee and was having a laugh with everyone. He'd probably come home and say we should invite her round next time her dcs are away or something - that's what he's like.

Hang on, there were 2 men in the pub and the op and her friend - and all 4 had coffee together in the OP's house. Unless they are all swingers, this sounds entirely harmless to me. THough really, it's no one's business but the man's what agreement he has with hs DW about how much of a social life he is 'allowed.'

Well if this man is in the pub on a regular basis and the OP's friend has just said she feels sorry for his wife - why are they inviting him back afterwards?

I'm sorry but surely to invite men back to your house is just courting trouble?

If they knew each other, then very reasonable.

I'd always call a friend after a night out to make sure they got home okay, male or female.

sorry I didn't read the whole thread.

I think it's fine.

They didn't, these men are regulars in the pub, they got chatting.

PMSL at noiamnot.

"If neither of you are interested in them why did you invite them back? "

and

"I'm sorry but surely to invite men back to your house is just courting trouble"

• do you people live in a world of nudge-nudge, wink-wink, Carry On films?

there's absolutely nothing wrong with adults having a coffee (and yes I do mean a coffee) and if you post

"I would go beserk if this were my dh. He's in the company of 2 single women and he chooses to go back to one of their houses? Not acceptable"

then you are obviously very insecure and do not trust your partner

some of you people are living in do la la land.

what possible reason would a married man have to go back to a house with two single women he just met in a pub other than the obvious?

It's just not on.

Imagine this phone conversation....

"Hi Honey, I know it's midnight and your in the house on your own and the baby is sick but Jack and I met these two young women at the pub and we're just going to nip over to theirs for a cuppa coffee...."

Response?

Is it A:

"Oh sure hun, you go on and enjoy yourself. I'm sure that no matter how young, half-dressed, drunk these women are I can trust you."

Or is it B:

"Get your arse home this instant or I will be serving it to you on a plate for dinner tomorrow along with some nice mash and a bottle of CHIANTI!"

I think it is incredibly sad how so many of you have such little faith and trust in your relationships.

well i would have the hump at DP being in pub most nights and going to some birds house
if it is no biggie why hasnt he told his wife,"hey popped over to Harmans flat the othre night at closing time..."

on some level you are giving an impression of interest and/or availability (whether wittingly or unwittingly).hell why else would ther lads be there.if it was just bonhemie they could have gone to any other flat but they chose females

come on....sus or what

Lol @ noiamnot! I don't think it was necessarily anything more than having a nice night and rounding it off with a coffee- BUT if I was the guy's wife, I would be a bit concerned that I was being treated like the ball and chain, while husband gads about having a laugh most nights in the pub and doesn't even try to make a go of our time together as a couple. While one quick coffee after the pub is not especially likely to end in a shagfest, a husband who spends no time at home and has more of a laugh out with other women and his single mates than with his wife is probably going to end up falling of the path of righteousness....if I were the OP, I wouldn't want to be in the firing line when the gossip starts, or to be continuing a situation which is probably playing with fire. Give him a wider berth, I reckon. If he wants to cock his own marriage up (and he is well on the way to it from
the sound of things), leave him to it and socialize with someone else.

conversely how do you know he has told wife? maybe he needs to cut down the pub time, see his family bitty more?the implied general jist from harman is she doesnt want to arouse suspicion prompting the inevitable thought something to be sus about.or that he isnt telling his wife