I've just received a text from MIL which I think was meant for DH and it has upset me.

[Thishasupsetme]

The message said 'Looking forward to Sunday, I'll pick you and DGD up at 1.30pm for X's christening, remember not to mention it to DW'
DH has told me that he is going to take DD out for a few hours on Saturday to give me some time to myself, but it looks like he is going to his family members christening and I am not invited.
I didn't know I had upset anyone. DD was christed 6 months ago now and all of his family were invited and his cousin is DD godmother.
I am really upset. I don't know if I should mention it to him or hust leave it.

Tell him you're upset and need him home asap before you start getting really angry.

Don't call or text anyone else until you can do it with a clearer head.

Your dh sounds under his mother's thumb tbh. What he and MIL have done is shitty, cowardly and immature. Really sorry about this, poor you.

he's gone to play video games??????????

Should I email DD's godmother and ask if I have upset her in any way, and apologise if I have? I don't thik I can ring her without crying tbh.

I would personally ring him and tell him to come home now as you need to talk (without trying to dissolve into tears - easier said than done in these circs I think).

"...probably about 6 ish, he hs gone to see some friends to play call of bloody duty "

under the circumstances that is very disrespectful

I would phone him as calmly as possible and make it clear that you need him to come back and explain why he has lied to you. You don't want to discuss it over the phone, he needs to get his back in person.

Re: him possibly protecting you from upset, if there is some underlying-as-yet-unexplained problem that his family have with you, in no way should he be colluding with your exclusion. He is your husband and you, he and dd are a new family unit.

Going to see friends? I reckon he is absolutely bricking it and maybe wants to delay the discussion.

Twat.

I agree a phone call at least. Text and then going to play very out of order. When it is something this important that has upset you this much.

omg
call of duty is a video game??

I would pack him a bag and leave it outside
He is not taking your marriage or his responsibilities seriously AT ALL

Gone to see friends???

oh, he should have postponed that, unless the 'duty' is of an unimaginably desparate nature.

But you need time to talk - or rather for him to talk and then you to think about what he has said and respond...serious talks are not best interrupted by fraught bedtime routines. Can you get dd to bed before he comes in from friends?

CRY - let yourself talk to her and cry, she'll feel even more of a bastard. which she deserves too.. they all do.

I'd leave Godmother until you've spoken to DH (and his story had better be good......)

Mascara - that crossed my mind too.

(I'm not here either, obviously)

Personally I would leave the contact with godmother until you have found out what the "reason" for the exclusion is.

Your DH has gone to see some friends - he's only going to dig a bigger hole for himself by doing this.

He sounds totally under his Mother's thrall - as I mentioned earlier she has likely conditioned him over the years to accept this behaviour as somehow "normal" when it is clearly not.

AM I the only person who doesn't believe he's gone to see friends.. he is at your MILs house!!!

I would expect him to take the line 'if she's not wanted then I am not going either'. He needs to check his loyalty. And get his arse home NOW. Games my backside.

if I were you I would take the stance that I am assuming that DH has a REALLY good explanation for this. Then if he does, you don't look distrustful.

But if and when he has to tell you that he doesn't then he's in an even more awkward position than otherwise and he'd be in severe danger of finding himself explaining to his mother that he will be absent on Sunday too.

She on the other hand would be in line for a phone call from you that says when you have a message to deliver you don't hide behind cowardly texts and you have one now... it is that her behaviour is unacceptable and that you and your family will having nothing to do with her until she can accept this and apologise.

lol @ Mascara - im mid flounce too.

What crossed my mind was that he'll go to MIL's not friend's. Thread moving too fast for my slow fingers!

Don't contact the godmother - you're too upset. You need to make such calls/emails with a clear head.

God! I thought call of duty meant that he had to do a favour for someone or was a dutiful visit.

Not a bloody video game.

He needs to come back now.

I would be on the phone to him now telling him to get his backside home NOW!!

Also I would ring the Godmother and see why you have been left out.

I also agree that you should get up early Sunday morning and take DD out for the day.

Call the friends house
see if he is there

I am sorry if I am not answering some posts, but there are so many and it goes so quick I cant keep up. I am not ignoring you, sorry.

Is this totally out of character for your DH or does MIL just have to say 'jump' and he says 'how high?'

He didn't want you to find out this way??!!
So how, exactly, did he intend you to find out?

I wouldn't go down the path of blaming yourself for some possible slight you might have given to his cousin. You'd have to have committed close to murder to excuse this sort of snub. I'm almost beyond words, actually.
But I bet your DH is bricking it at this very moment, wondering how on earth he's going to wriggle out of it. He's probably lining up the paper clips on his desk, putting off the moment when he has to come home to face the music. Or, he's on the phone to his mum, looking for inspiration! I'd check his call register later.