I've just received a text from MIL which I think was meant for DH and it has upset me.

[Thishasupsetme]

The message said 'Looking forward to Sunday, I'll pick you and DGD up at 1.30pm for X's christening, remember not to mention it to DW'
DH has told me that he is going to take DD out for a few hours on Saturday to give me some time to myself, but it looks like he is going to his family members christening and I am not invited.
I didn't know I had upset anyone. DD was christed 6 months ago now and all of his family were invited and his cousin is DD godmother.
I am really upset. I don't know if I should mention it to him or hust leave it.

I bet he has spoken to her to castigate her for her stupidity

James may have a point, but they must see this is so much more upsetting than not being picked.

I had thought she may have chosen someone else to be godmother, but they know me, she knows that I would not be upset at that, she knows that I would and am extremely happy for her and her family that she has another beautiful child.

And tak eyour mascara off before he gets home just in case you can't hold back the tears.

whatever the 'reason' behind it all though, this is just a grubby way to treat someone. These people need to grow the fuck up, they've got dc and gdc fgs!

Hehe, James, xposts. Wow this has really riled us all uphaSN'T IT. Look I cant even type properly, and its got all dark in here while I've been glued to this thread.

James could be right.

Or the whole thing is a code of some sort...no..don't go there.

he won't be hme tilhe's home, so you might as well get on with stuff til he is. if you can.

I guess you'll find out soon enough. Op you sound like a lovely person, they're shits for upsetting you like this.

When do you expect him home?

Yes I texted both DH and mil, with the original message forwarded to them, Dh has responded, MIL has not.

what a b'st'd Hate to ask but any chance he's colluded similarly before ?

You could ring "godmother" to ask what might be a good christening present as h has obviously omitted to ask you to get one?

I would give the godmother a call, and ask her what arrangements she is aware of.

Might be drawing others into your situation, but if everyone had been open, there would have been no need.

Sorry you're going thru' this - I would be really upset too.

NOOOOOOOO

you need to be a bit spitefull about it.
dont mention ANYTHING when he gets home.

make dinner as usual and then say, ooh i was speaking to "sue" today. she has invited me and Dc over to meet her new baby/puppy/kitten/washing machine so i said yes.
i know you were going to take Dc out but maybe you could do that on saturday instead? I've not seen Sue in such a long time"

let him try and explain why he NEEDS to take Dc out on sunday.

once he has tied himself up you can casually say, "oh so it's not cos your going to the christening then"

So sorry to hear this. Again I can really only say listen to Blue's advice.

Struggling hard not to write the thoughts of what I would do if it was my dh.

He will be home anytime from now but probably about 6 ish, he hs gone to see some friends to play call of bloody duty

that is even worse isn't it.

Do you think i sould call him and tell him to come home because we need to talk about this.

I am getting angrier and angrier with him now, fuck mil I don't care about her, its him lying to me that has upset me the most.

And I tell you there is no way on this earth DD is going to that christening. I will get up early and take her out for the day.

I think MIL has sent this text message to you on purpose to cause an argument between you and DH.

She's obviously manipulated him into going along with this (still no excuse in his part though) and now I think she's sticking in the knife by accidentally sending you a text that was meant for him.

This sounds exactly like the kind of thing my MIL would do. You've every right to cross with him and quite rightly so, but you need to get your DH onside. This is the only way you will be able to handle a toxic MIL like this in the future.

oh just seen you have already forwarded them the messages.
what did Dh say?

he has gone to see friends on the way home???

fuck me

THUM - you DO sound lovely.

I'd ring him and get him home now..

This is awful OP, I feel sick for you just thinking about it. All the best, you've had some good advice on here.

HAve you had any previous incidents like this from MIL?

Umm, YES. Running errands or work stuff is one thing, playing xbox or whatever with his mates is not a good enough excuse, he should be grounded!!!!

Text him to get home now and explain this or he'll be sleeping on the front lawn

He sounds like a big baby tbh. Poor you

Thishasupsetme,

Didn't think MIL would respond because she's been caught out. She will not lightly admit any wrong doing. Your MIL basically did this deliberately to exclude you from this family gathering.

No wonder you're upset your MIL has been underhand yet again (this is all part of her controlling nature) and your DH has been spineless enough to go along with it. In fairness to him he is likely to have been conditioned by her to accept this behaviour but his primary loyalty should now be to you his wife. I reckon no-one to date as well within her family has actually stood up to this bully of a woman. There is therefore no justification for going along with this deception until now.

Your DH should have telephoned you rather than send a bland text message. This is too important to warrant a bloody text message and I would tell him that as well.

Your MIL is controlling; this is another way of her exerting power and control. Something that controlling behaviour is all about by the way. Also controlling behaviours are by their very nature abusive.

I would suggest you read "Toxic Inlaws" written by Susan Forward. She is certainly toxic.

I doubt he has gone to see friends. I expect he has gone to see you rMIL top get stroy straight before coming on home.. see what she has said etc