Morning everyone, Dh has just left for work.
We ended up talking about it for a few hours last night so nither of us got much sleep but at least things are on the way to be sorted. I still feel a bit by it all and by DH going along with mil, but I am determined to work it out, I am not goning to give mil the satisfaction.
Here Goes,
I finaly managed to get my head down not long after I had signed off from here, about 10 minutes later DH comes downstairs and asks if I am coming to bed, so I ask if he is willing to talk to me about this whole sorry debacle now. He said yes.
So off to bed we go. (I am still oddly calm)
I ask him if he knew that I WAS actually invited by DCIL, he looked genuinly shocked and said no that mil had told him that only he and DD had been invited. I said well your mum lied and big time DH. I have rang DCIL and she has confirmed for me that we were all invited and that she had asked mil to pass on the invite and then mil went back to her a few days later and said that I couldn't make it but DD and DH would be there. He looked shocked and upset.
He said that he honestly didn't know and believed his mum when she said I had not been invited. So I said fair enough you didn't know BUT you still went along with it, where is your solidarity in all of this, you should have been outraged that I had not been invited, yet you continued to collude with your mum behind my back. Do you understand how hurtfull that is for me.
He said he felt like he had no other choice I told him that of course he had a choice, he is a grown man with a wife and child, he could have decided to fight my corner and stand solid with me and not go to the christening.
He looked dumbfounded and I think he saw then that he had no way of making any excuses to get out of this. He apologised profusely about what he did, I told him that while I was grateful for his apology that it really doesn't mean anything unless he is willing to put me and DD first in his life, and that means ABOVE mil on his list of priority. He argued that she was still his mum and how would I feel if DD did this when she is older. I told him that A) I would never behave the way that mil has to DD's future DH and B)I would be proud of her if she put her new family unit first as that is how it should be. Again he looked like I had stopped him in his tracks.
(gawd this post is gonna be long)
I then went on to bring up the spiteful way that mil let me 'find out' and asked him what he thought of that and he said he didn't realise that his mum could be so nasty and spiteful and that he was disgusted with her behaviour. I asked him if he was going to tell her this, he said no . so I said that she needs telling and she needs to hear it from you, this is the only way that she will understand that we are your priority and that it is not acceptable to treat me the way she has.
This is all putting aside why she did it.
I've told him that if he wants to rescue our marraige and for me to take him serious then he needs to tell mil that she was out of line and that is a point that I will NOT back down on.
It is his choice.
He has gone to work now, so I will see.
I am not going to the christening on Sundasy as I don't want any trouble for DH"s cousin. I am going to see her later on to take a present and card. I got a text from her this morning and she has told her mum about what has happened and her mum is livid (they know what mil can be like), so I suppose I will get the lowdown later on when I get there.
My DSIL will be here in an hour or so, so I better get tidied up, I never did mine and DD's dinner pots last night DSIL and I are going shopping for a pressy and she will take me to DCIL.
Thank you, I will update as soon as DH has found his manly bits and spoken to mil.