I've just received a text from MIL which I think was meant for DH and it has upset me.

[Thishasupsetme]

The message said 'Looking forward to Sunday, I'll pick you and DGD up at 1.30pm for X's christening, remember not to mention it to DW'
DH has told me that he is going to take DD out for a few hours on Saturday to give me some time to myself, but it looks like he is going to his family members christening and I am not invited.
I didn't know I had upset anyone. DD was christed 6 months ago now and all of his family were invited and his cousin is DD godmother.
I am really upset. I don't know if I should mention it to him or hust leave it.

of course what SHOULD happen is that THUM should be at the Christening and MIL should be disinvited by CIL.

Been thinking about this....
I really hope MIL told DH you werent invited, that it wasn't something they planned together. Judging from his text, it sounds like she may have lied to him too.

He IS being a bit pathetic under the duvet. If he didn't know she was invited, he still doesn't cos he didnt hear the phone call ( I assume)

BUT - you never know, this might end up being a positive for you. You would no longer have to put up with the old bat. I think she is testing your relationship.... and I hope it back fires in her face.

I want your blerry husband to stand up to all this now tho!!!!!

Have you decided what you will do if you find out he knew you were invited?

I'm with the bucket of water brigade

I think a walk along the prom with fish and chips on Sunday sounds like a brilliant idea.

If the cousin asks why you weren't at the christening then you can tell her, exactly, why not.

I also wouldn't be happy about dh sleeping in the marital bed tonight - make him sleep on the sofa at the very least. Don't let him think it's all ok! Why's he in bed so early anyway??! Does he usually go to bed at half 8 or was that to avoid Angry THUM?

I knew I shouldn't have had the wine, I just want to cry now and ring my mum.

I just cant understand why he isnt talking to you about it!!!! It just doesnt make sense. 'Bewildered and shocked Expression'

Im so sory for what your going through xx

And you shouldnt be the one on the sofa. poor you (((( hugs))))

I think he's not talking cause he knows he's done wrong

The wine will help you sleep...
try get some rest
x

Get the pillows off the bed, at least. And the duvet.

Nah - fuck it, go and knee him in the small of his back and tell him to shift his arse to the sofa Right Fucking Now so you at least can be miserable in comfort.

Still fuming for you here!

My sofa is really comfy, I spent most of my pregnancy on the sofa as I couldn't get comfy in bed, so I don't mind.

Thankyou all for being with me throughout this, I am going to put my head down now and try to get some sleep.

oh please don't sleep on the sofa that isn't fair on you

DH says he's a 'little boy' who can't deal with it. Like others ahve said, kick him out of bed and make him sleep on the sofa.

I think you've handled it brilliantly - thank goodness for MN

What a f**king coward! I can't believe he has not explained himself. That is the least you deserve. Your MIL is also a coward, how would she like it if it had been her! Stick to your guns. I am now joining you in a sympathetic glass of wine. Bottoms Up!

Before I do go to sleep though can I ask do you really think it looks like there could be another woman? Sometimes you need outsiders to point it out to you.

THUM, I really feel for you. This is appalling behaviour from your DH. You were right a few posts ago where you said this was about your DH, not about your vicious MIL.

I don't know if I have ever seen such a rapid response from MNers before. You have such great support on here and it sounds as if you have it in RL too.

I don't know much about these things, but it sounds like your DH is stonewalling you which is very unhealthy behaviour.

I think the other woman is your MIL

Seems many men can sleep while their other half's cry. Unfeeling bastards.

Are you ok, THUM?

Actually I would text MIL congratulating her on buggering up her relationship with her dgd as you will ensure that contact with her is kept to a minimum as she is clearly a poisonous cow.

I would also go and stay with some family for a while. It gets you away from dh and the pressures at home and will enable you to access some support. Also ensures that dh can't take dd to the christening without you.

What a prize cock.

I've lurked on this thread until now. But I don't think this is because of another woman. (Well, except for the fact that his priorities are so screwed that his mother almost is another woman.)

The other woman theory just doesn't make sense. What would he do? Take said other woman to the Christening with all the family there - including cousin who obviously likes you a lot? That just doesn't make sense to me.

I think this is about power and screwed up family loyalties and dynamic - not about an affair.

THUM, on reflection are there any other signs that your DH could've been seeing someone else? Have you ever had reason to be suspicious? Have any niggling doubts?

It seems a bizarre thing to do to take a OW to a family occasion like this, especially when you seem close to his cousin.

It is just such odd behaviour, God, I really want you to go to him, beat him over the head & tell you what the fuck is going on.

The only other woman is his mum - He needs to explain why he did this and what his mum actually said to him before you can begin to move on.

night night x

Nah. I dont think there is another woman... unless you count your MiL of course.

no other women.

No, I don't think it sounds that way.

I think Cargirl is right, the oW is just his mum. And he is a right coward from what I can gather.

Some men are just wayyyy too loyally attached to their mummies. It's wrong, it's sad but it happens. They're unchangeable sadly. And when it comes to the crunch and they have to choose between you both, they do often choose mummy

That doesn't mean you have to stop being together but you'll need to put up with him putting her first if you do. (lots of women do put up, depends how nice he is in other ways - if he is worth it!)

Night night x